No matter what the journey
at the end of the day
you decide whether to continue
it's your choice
I say giving yourself to something fully
is the only way to feel fulfilled.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Whitney
Whitney Houston had a rare voice. One which, as I listen to "Greatest Love of All" with my Bosu headphones, I remember as flawless.
She added virtuosity to pop confections, "How Will I Know" and "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" being two of my favorites from the earlier stages of her career. I remember seeing her videos (I was about 10) and marveling at how thin and limber she was, at her stunning smile with perfect teeth and that cute, little head flick nod thing she'd do while snapping her fingers. I would dance around the house imagining myself in neon and ruffles, waiting for delightful, cute black men to pop out from various rooms to meet me in my slinky, hot pink dress and big hair (it gets boring on long island sometimes).
Whitney sang about strength, "I decided long ago never to walk in anybody's shadow. If I fail or if I succeed, at least I'll live as I believe" and she sang about sharing while in the flow of giving and receiving, "My love is your love and your love is my love."
And, after a rather public battle with drugs and alcohol, a difficult relationship with singer Bobby Brown, a body which looked at times scarily malnourished, worldwide success followed by public pitfalls and humiliation, and who knows what else in privacy, Whitney Houston, at 48 years young, is dead.
The cause is still undisclosed at this point but reports don't show signs of foul play. The conclusion I was quick to draw is she OD'd or took her own life, at which point I rather hastily posted a few FB updates that are the first of mine to border on something of a Tweetified public service announcement urging people to get help for drug addiction, depression, eating disorders, or anything else life threatening (or even life compromising). That's where this blog post is going. There will be amazing tributes to Whitney and that angelic voice of hers, people will be energized or repulsed by the return of those 80s and 90s songs, and the collective will want to find out exactly what happened to her these last few years.
As I listen to Whitney sing "I will be free" from the song "One Moment in Time, "as I think about the conversation I had with a friend yesterday in which she asked my advice on how to deal w/ a friend of hers she thinks may be alcoholic, as I listen to Whitney sing, "Each day I play the role. Of someone always in control. But at night I turn the key. There's nobody there. No one cares for me" from "I Want to Run to You", I think of that need for escape, escape from the self, life, personal history, shame, and that need, that drive, that URGE to run away from the loneliness.
Oh, it is a powerful drive. Adding poisons, toxins or pleasure seeking behaviors to the body at that point means a whole lotta trouble. It meant trouble for me in the past (I am gratefully in recovery for an eating disorder, depression and anxiety), it meant trouble at one point for a lot of my friends, and I'm sure you either know someone or can identify with this yourself, this certain kind of trouble.
The point now will be to celebrate Whitney's music, honor her memory, and respect her family's privacy (she leaves behind a daughter). The sadness we all feel should be felt and processed. It is terribly sad to lose someone you love, someone you've forgotten about whose beauty and brilliance you recall only now in the wake of a sudden passing. Memory can feel woefully inadequate when trying to mourn someone you let fall of your radar.
It will make us question whether systems fail people. Our paparazzi infused celebrity adoration society, the way we treat addiction, the pressures on women to stay skinny and never get old, spirituality as a means to acquire more stuff as opposed to help others, and other aspects of the collective.
Some people will feel guilt, that they've failed Whitney, others will look at her specifically and think she failed herself.
I will return to what I feel is the most important thing to write about in this moment, which is, every day on this earth in this very moment, thousands of people are suffering and bouncing or doing aerial jumps on a tightrope like that dude during the Madonnna Super Bowl halftime show, one which could lead to a terrible fall. The most significant thing to know is that at the end of the day, THE PERSON FEELS ALONE. They have given up relationships for the addiction, self love for the addiction, self care for the addiction, family for the addiction and love for the addiction.
They feel painfully, awfully, pathetically, and in no uncertain terms ALONE.
As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
I'm lost without a cause
after giving it my all
winters storms have come
and I can't find sun
after all I've been through
who at all can I turn to you
I look to you
I look to you
after all my strength is gone
in you I can be strong.
-Whitney Houston "I Look to You"
The Source energy that runs through us all gives some people strength to recover but Source sends angels in the form of people to do the work. Are you someone another person can look to for help? Someone someone can look to or turn to in a time of desperation and need?
And, if you are that person who is on the tightrope (again, please look past the PSA nature of this bc I'm just not feeling in the mood right now to be witty) will you look up and ask for help? There is NO SHAME in it at all. The world needs every single person on it to do more good for another. It doesn't matter if you have pissed all over your life, if you have no job or a job you should love but hate, if you're terribly alone or unable to feel the depth and love that IS present in your life, whether you are popular on Facebook or Twitter, none of that matters.
The secret that so many people in recovery understand is the ability to be "happy, joyous and free" is inside us at all times and can be tapped independent of outside circumstances. Also, that service and helping another person can literally save your own life.
I guess the final thought I'm having today is the reminder to live life fully, joyfully, and with love every day, because you just don't know when it's going to end. Also, that no fan adoration, fame, riches, popularity, god given brilliant talent or beauty is enough if you don't love and get right with yourself or are able to find the right kind of help you need to pull out of some kind of life threatening cycle. It's kind of heart breaking, really, but the other side of any heartbreak is, if you allow it, a heart that is open to give and receive even deeper love.
Rest in peace, beautiful Whitney Houston. I am so sorry you are gone.
She added virtuosity to pop confections, "How Will I Know" and "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" being two of my favorites from the earlier stages of her career. I remember seeing her videos (I was about 10) and marveling at how thin and limber she was, at her stunning smile with perfect teeth and that cute, little head flick nod thing she'd do while snapping her fingers. I would dance around the house imagining myself in neon and ruffles, waiting for delightful, cute black men to pop out from various rooms to meet me in my slinky, hot pink dress and big hair (it gets boring on long island sometimes).
Whitney sang about strength, "I decided long ago never to walk in anybody's shadow. If I fail or if I succeed, at least I'll live as I believe" and she sang about sharing while in the flow of giving and receiving, "My love is your love and your love is my love."
And, after a rather public battle with drugs and alcohol, a difficult relationship with singer Bobby Brown, a body which looked at times scarily malnourished, worldwide success followed by public pitfalls and humiliation, and who knows what else in privacy, Whitney Houston, at 48 years young, is dead.
The cause is still undisclosed at this point but reports don't show signs of foul play. The conclusion I was quick to draw is she OD'd or took her own life, at which point I rather hastily posted a few FB updates that are the first of mine to border on something of a Tweetified public service announcement urging people to get help for drug addiction, depression, eating disorders, or anything else life threatening (or even life compromising). That's where this blog post is going. There will be amazing tributes to Whitney and that angelic voice of hers, people will be energized or repulsed by the return of those 80s and 90s songs, and the collective will want to find out exactly what happened to her these last few years.
As I listen to Whitney sing "I will be free" from the song "One Moment in Time, "as I think about the conversation I had with a friend yesterday in which she asked my advice on how to deal w/ a friend of hers she thinks may be alcoholic, as I listen to Whitney sing, "Each day I play the role. Of someone always in control. But at night I turn the key. There's nobody there. No one cares for me" from "I Want to Run to You", I think of that need for escape, escape from the self, life, personal history, shame, and that need, that drive, that URGE to run away from the loneliness.
Oh, it is a powerful drive. Adding poisons, toxins or pleasure seeking behaviors to the body at that point means a whole lotta trouble. It meant trouble for me in the past (I am gratefully in recovery for an eating disorder, depression and anxiety), it meant trouble at one point for a lot of my friends, and I'm sure you either know someone or can identify with this yourself, this certain kind of trouble.
The point now will be to celebrate Whitney's music, honor her memory, and respect her family's privacy (she leaves behind a daughter). The sadness we all feel should be felt and processed. It is terribly sad to lose someone you love, someone you've forgotten about whose beauty and brilliance you recall only now in the wake of a sudden passing. Memory can feel woefully inadequate when trying to mourn someone you let fall of your radar.
It will make us question whether systems fail people. Our paparazzi infused celebrity adoration society, the way we treat addiction, the pressures on women to stay skinny and never get old, spirituality as a means to acquire more stuff as opposed to help others, and other aspects of the collective.
Some people will feel guilt, that they've failed Whitney, others will look at her specifically and think she failed herself.
I will return to what I feel is the most important thing to write about in this moment, which is, every day on this earth in this very moment, thousands of people are suffering and bouncing or doing aerial jumps on a tightrope like that dude during the Madonnna Super Bowl halftime show, one which could lead to a terrible fall. The most significant thing to know is that at the end of the day, THE PERSON FEELS ALONE. They have given up relationships for the addiction, self love for the addiction, self care for the addiction, family for the addiction and love for the addiction.
They feel painfully, awfully, pathetically, and in no uncertain terms ALONE.
As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
I'm lost without a cause
after giving it my all
winters storms have come
and I can't find sun
after all I've been through
who at all can I turn to you
I look to you
I look to you
after all my strength is gone
in you I can be strong.
-Whitney Houston "I Look to You"
The Source energy that runs through us all gives some people strength to recover but Source sends angels in the form of people to do the work. Are you someone another person can look to for help? Someone someone can look to or turn to in a time of desperation and need?
And, if you are that person who is on the tightrope (again, please look past the PSA nature of this bc I'm just not feeling in the mood right now to be witty) will you look up and ask for help? There is NO SHAME in it at all. The world needs every single person on it to do more good for another. It doesn't matter if you have pissed all over your life, if you have no job or a job you should love but hate, if you're terribly alone or unable to feel the depth and love that IS present in your life, whether you are popular on Facebook or Twitter, none of that matters.
The secret that so many people in recovery understand is the ability to be "happy, joyous and free" is inside us at all times and can be tapped independent of outside circumstances. Also, that service and helping another person can literally save your own life.
I guess the final thought I'm having today is the reminder to live life fully, joyfully, and with love every day, because you just don't know when it's going to end. Also, that no fan adoration, fame, riches, popularity, god given brilliant talent or beauty is enough if you don't love and get right with yourself or are able to find the right kind of help you need to pull out of some kind of life threatening cycle. It's kind of heart breaking, really, but the other side of any heartbreak is, if you allow it, a heart that is open to give and receive even deeper love.
Rest in peace, beautiful Whitney Houston. I am so sorry you are gone.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Jeremy Linspiration - I want YOU for an interview on this blog, please!
Good morning! I work in TV and when a few of my coworkers who know about this blog told me there's some guy Jeremy Lin stealing my Lindspiration thunder (ha ha ha), I had to find out who and what they were talking about! So, I turned on the KNICKS game last night and watched it start to finish, only to have my mind blown by the evening's star -- Harvard grad, no contract, 4th string turned starting point guard PHENOM, Jeremy Lin. Yeahhh!!!
(Note: I have a basketball background and was a point guard. I played through senior year of high school and almost went out for the varsity team at Cornell but I decided to stick with just soccer. I know and love the game, although admittedly I usually prefer college hoops (men and women) to the NBA. Until now...)
As the Times wrote a few days ago in its piece, Lin's Success Surprising to Everyone, Morey concluded, “The reality is he has done more than all 30 teams thought he would do." This was written before his game/season high 38 points of last evening against the Lakers, when his shooting, passing, work off the picks and rolls, drives to the baskets and calm force of strength sent Kobe and the boys home packing! Pack-ing.
I bring this up for a lot reasons but mainly because a. this all just happened in about a week when he started breaking and killing it, b. he is incredibly humble and in every single interview deflects attention from himself onto the value of his team and c. is the perfect example of what happens when you're PERSISTENT and don't quit on yourself.
What if he listened to any talk in his head that could've potentially gone like this, "I'm 4th f*$()# string and sleeping on my brother's couch. I am not even sleeping bc I'm on the lower east side and these bars are hopping 24/7, ugh. No contract. Nobody really giving a shit what I do. I'm outta here."
If he had anything resembling that voice and listened to it, he would never be enjoying this dream come true.
So, Jeremy, if you are reading this blog I would like to say THANK YOU for being such a LINSPIRATION and if you are willing, I would love to interview you for this blog. Come on, #inspireitforward, yes yes yes! We can all continue to learn about the power of persistence from your example and will be watching!
To all of you reading, KEEP GOING!! Put your heart into it, never give up on yourself and GO!!!!
Best,
LBD
PS I was excited to learn yesterday that there's a player on the Lakers who calls himself Metta World Peace. Hearing sports announcers shouting "World Peace" this and "World Peace" kind of made my night.
(Note: I have a basketball background and was a point guard. I played through senior year of high school and almost went out for the varsity team at Cornell but I decided to stick with just soccer. I know and love the game, although admittedly I usually prefer college hoops (men and women) to the NBA. Until now...)
As the Times wrote a few days ago in its piece, Lin's Success Surprising to Everyone, Morey concluded, “The reality is he has done more than all 30 teams thought he would do." This was written before his game/season high 38 points of last evening against the Lakers, when his shooting, passing, work off the picks and rolls, drives to the baskets and calm force of strength sent Kobe and the boys home packing! Pack-ing.
I bring this up for a lot reasons but mainly because a. this all just happened in about a week when he started breaking and killing it, b. he is incredibly humble and in every single interview deflects attention from himself onto the value of his team and c. is the perfect example of what happens when you're PERSISTENT and don't quit on yourself.
What if he listened to any talk in his head that could've potentially gone like this, "I'm 4th f*$()# string and sleeping on my brother's couch. I am not even sleeping bc I'm on the lower east side and these bars are hopping 24/7, ugh. No contract. Nobody really giving a shit what I do. I'm outta here."
If he had anything resembling that voice and listened to it, he would never be enjoying this dream come true.
So, Jeremy, if you are reading this blog I would like to say THANK YOU for being such a LINSPIRATION and if you are willing, I would love to interview you for this blog. Come on, #inspireitforward, yes yes yes! We can all continue to learn about the power of persistence from your example and will be watching!
To all of you reading, KEEP GOING!! Put your heart into it, never give up on yourself and GO!!!!
Best,
LBD
PS I was excited to learn yesterday that there's a player on the Lakers who calls himself Metta World Peace. Hearing sports announcers shouting "World Peace" this and "World Peace" kind of made my night.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
10 Things that are Working
I love sharing what's working. One of the simplest ways to achieve change is to look at what IS working and do more of THAT. Seems abundantly simple? That's 'cause it is.
1. As of a few days ago, I am officially diet coke and gum FREE. The result is that I've shrunk about half a size. The kind of bloat that came along with a can and a pack can only really be appreciated now that it's gone. I literally got sick and tired of being sick and bloated.
2. To help deal with stress/anxiety, my first step, my holy trinity of coping, is -- the breath, cold water and stillness. This precedes any shift in thinking, any new action, or any decision making. I slow down and deepen my breathing. I drink ice cold water (no fizz) . I don't move. I just sit. I can't begin to say how hopeful (I mean helpful, but it is hopeful, too!) this is, not to mention courageous, since it can feel very scary to just sit in the anxiety and do nothing while anxious thoughts fly around in your head like balls in a batting range. Yet, what happens time and again in things begin to slow down and I start to feel better.
3. intenSati. I teach it, I take it, I LOVE it. www.satilife.com
4. I have a personal trainer I work with weekly and in between sessions -- every single day* -- I email him what I ate for the day, what I did exercise-wise and what I did to REST. Such value. The REST section is hilarious, since you're looking at someone for whom "sat on couch and watched Smash" is an event. If slowing down is challenging, I highly suggest building in REST activities, from meditation to 10 minutes of thumbing through a magazine (the paper kind).
5. Building in "every single day" habits. Do something every single day for 30 days and see how keeping that level of commitment affects you. :)
6. I shared about my recent foray into ACT therapy (see my last post) and one of the key tenets is to feel without trying to shift or change anything I'm feeling. The effect is usually that what I'm feeling shifts, so while I kind of hate this therapeutic modality for being sneaky and subtle in the way it gets what it wants, I kind of love it bc it WORKS. Google "Get Out of Your Mind and into Your Life" by Stephen Hayes.
7. I continue to allow myself to dream as big as my heart, mind and soul desires to dream. What do you think I was thinking during the Super Bowl halftime show? Wow, minus the stilettos and pom poms, this would be FUN!!!
8. You may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one. Per the above, I hang out with people who support me and my dreams, honor my ambitions, give a rat's ass about my happiness because they love me (not love what I can do for them) and vice versa.
9. I take classes. I've been taking acting, singing and dancing classes for the majority of my life. I never stop bc there's always something to learn! Next up, NADETTE STASA's ON CAMERA COMMERCIAL CLASS. We start a week from Thursday and there are still open spots. Interested in trying something new?
10. I think about my life from a service perspective and a passion perspective. If there is something I LOVE to do and in some way shape or form it makes the world a better place, I get on board.
There you go! #inspireitforward
Would love to hear what is working for you!
Namaste,
Lindsay
1. As of a few days ago, I am officially diet coke and gum FREE. The result is that I've shrunk about half a size. The kind of bloat that came along with a can and a pack can only really be appreciated now that it's gone. I literally got sick and tired of being sick and bloated.
2. To help deal with stress/anxiety, my first step, my holy trinity of coping, is -- the breath, cold water and stillness. This precedes any shift in thinking, any new action, or any decision making. I slow down and deepen my breathing. I drink ice cold water (no fizz) . I don't move. I just sit. I can't begin to say how hopeful (I mean helpful, but it is hopeful, too!) this is, not to mention courageous, since it can feel very scary to just sit in the anxiety and do nothing while anxious thoughts fly around in your head like balls in a batting range. Yet, what happens time and again in things begin to slow down and I start to feel better.
3. intenSati. I teach it, I take it, I LOVE it. www.satilife.com
4. I have a personal trainer I work with weekly and in between sessions -- every single day* -- I email him what I ate for the day, what I did exercise-wise and what I did to REST. Such value. The REST section is hilarious, since you're looking at someone for whom "sat on couch and watched Smash" is an event. If slowing down is challenging, I highly suggest building in REST activities, from meditation to 10 minutes of thumbing through a magazine (the paper kind).
5. Building in "every single day" habits. Do something every single day for 30 days and see how keeping that level of commitment affects you. :)
6. I shared about my recent foray into ACT therapy (see my last post) and one of the key tenets is to feel without trying to shift or change anything I'm feeling. The effect is usually that what I'm feeling shifts, so while I kind of hate this therapeutic modality for being sneaky and subtle in the way it gets what it wants, I kind of love it bc it WORKS. Google "Get Out of Your Mind and into Your Life" by Stephen Hayes.
7. I continue to allow myself to dream as big as my heart, mind and soul desires to dream. What do you think I was thinking during the Super Bowl halftime show? Wow, minus the stilettos and pom poms, this would be FUN!!!
8. You may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one. Per the above, I hang out with people who support me and my dreams, honor my ambitions, give a rat's ass about my happiness because they love me (not love what I can do for them) and vice versa.
9. I take classes. I've been taking acting, singing and dancing classes for the majority of my life. I never stop bc there's always something to learn! Next up, NADETTE STASA's ON CAMERA COMMERCIAL CLASS. We start a week from Thursday and there are still open spots. Interested in trying something new?
10. I think about my life from a service perspective and a passion perspective. If there is something I LOVE to do and in some way shape or form it makes the world a better place, I get on board.
There you go! #inspireitforward
Would love to hear what is working for you!
Namaste,
Lindsay
Monday, February 6, 2012
Open to Surprises
Get out, get out, get out even more, Lindsay (they personalize, I love that)! Because there are people you've yet to meet, laughs you've yet to share, stories you've yet to live, and riches you've yet to tap into, that will not find you under any other circumstances. Besides, how else can I shower you with surprises? (www.tut.com)
I love how this email lands right with my experience of this past weekend. One of the tools in my wellness toolkit (doesn't everybody have a wellness toolkit? ok, maybe not, which is one of the reasons I blog) I use in my life is something called ACT, which stands for Acceptance Commitment Therapy. It's a modality created by Stephen Hayes, the essence of which is to "quit fighting against your pain so you can focus on getting through it". Rather than try to shift, avoid, transform, ignore or deny any kind of painful feeling, the point is to really surrender to it with compassion and gentleness. From there, it's possible to look at what you are committed to from a values standpoint and act accordingly.
Here's an example. Yesterday afternoon I felt some discomfort along the lines of fatigue, avoidance and a desire to just do nothing but curl up on my bed. Despite loving the Super Bowl and wanting to join in the NY spirit, all I really thought and felt was how much I did NOT feel like being in a bar to watch the GIANTS take on the Pats and Madonna take on a set of bleachers in stilettos (I did not know that at the time, obvi, just illustrating) all the way in Park Slope, which in my mind at the time felt like a journey from the north to southern tip of a large state, rather than a few stops on the subway and 8 minute walk. I also had a stomach ache.
Basically, I could tell things in my head and body were a little exaggerated. Maybe even a lot. SO, with this new ACT tool, the goal at the time was not to try and change anything I was thinking or feeling. It was just to be mindful of them. I did't even tell myself my brain might be exaggerating things a bit. I actually put my head down and took a nap. But the goal was just to take a nap and be present, not change anything. Then I thought about my commitment to my values, which are to be with friends on fun occasions (like the Giants in the SUper Bowl and Madonna performing the halftime show), I thought about my value of living in reciprocity with people I care about (not always expecting Brooklynites to come to Manhattan being a nice example of that in my world), and also the desire to go out, meet new people and just have more fun in my life.
By the time I showered, got on the 2/3, put my script in my bag to learn lines instead of doing nothing on the train except staring at the ads, popped a Tums for my stomach, and arrived at Union Hall in Brooklyn less than 10 minutes into the first quarter, I felt much better. I wasn't over the moon but I was grateful, content and felt in alignment. I literally "ACTed my way into right thinking" and whatever voice was discouraging me from venturing out into the world for a little fun had completely fallen away. Pretty cool.
GO GIANTS!!!!!! GO MADONNA!!!
The other part of this little quote is about surprises. On Saturday night I went to one of my oldest, dearest friends' surprise birthday party which her doting husband organized. I met some new people, saw some old familiar faces, and actually felt a lot of pleasure talking to women my age who seem happily married with kids. I was reminded how beautiful and precious it is to be in a loving, healthy relationship.
I recently taught a class (intenSati Single and Sensational 1, I think the second installment will be in April) about feeling empowered while single. I realize how personal the journey is, how wrong it is to ever judge myself or others, the way we all have different needs and desires, etc, etc, but what matters most is knowing what you really want and standing for it with unshakable self respect, even in the moments when nothing would be as comfortable as going back to the old flame. For a while I simply could not do that, I could not stand alone, but once I hit a bottom however many months ago, I never went back. I am finally free. I do still feel sad sometimes, empty sometimes, a bit bored, frustrated, and whatever else. I do still have the occasional flashes of jealousy and envy when seeing other couples and missing the person I cared about deeply, BUT but but, all those feelings pass. This zone is the best place to be for really discovering who I am, what I'm made of and what I really want. I am at peace with feeling those feelings and the truth is they are getting lighter, fewer and farther between. I know that now only because I made the leap.
Life is FULL of surprises every single day. New people, faces, places and opportunities will enter your world at any moment and change the course of your existence, break your rut, shift your thinking, radically alter your career, your love life, health, and potentially so much more. Here's to following the Universe's lead and being recipients of life's many gifts........
I love how this email lands right with my experience of this past weekend. One of the tools in my wellness toolkit (doesn't everybody have a wellness toolkit? ok, maybe not, which is one of the reasons I blog) I use in my life is something called ACT, which stands for Acceptance Commitment Therapy. It's a modality created by Stephen Hayes, the essence of which is to "quit fighting against your pain so you can focus on getting through it". Rather than try to shift, avoid, transform, ignore or deny any kind of painful feeling, the point is to really surrender to it with compassion and gentleness. From there, it's possible to look at what you are committed to from a values standpoint and act accordingly.
Here's an example. Yesterday afternoon I felt some discomfort along the lines of fatigue, avoidance and a desire to just do nothing but curl up on my bed. Despite loving the Super Bowl and wanting to join in the NY spirit, all I really thought and felt was how much I did NOT feel like being in a bar to watch the GIANTS take on the Pats and Madonna take on a set of bleachers in stilettos (I did not know that at the time, obvi, just illustrating) all the way in Park Slope, which in my mind at the time felt like a journey from the north to southern tip of a large state, rather than a few stops on the subway and 8 minute walk. I also had a stomach ache.
Basically, I could tell things in my head and body were a little exaggerated. Maybe even a lot. SO, with this new ACT tool, the goal at the time was not to try and change anything I was thinking or feeling. It was just to be mindful of them. I did't even tell myself my brain might be exaggerating things a bit. I actually put my head down and took a nap. But the goal was just to take a nap and be present, not change anything. Then I thought about my commitment to my values, which are to be with friends on fun occasions (like the Giants in the SUper Bowl and Madonna performing the halftime show), I thought about my value of living in reciprocity with people I care about (not always expecting Brooklynites to come to Manhattan being a nice example of that in my world), and also the desire to go out, meet new people and just have more fun in my life.
By the time I showered, got on the 2/3, put my script in my bag to learn lines instead of doing nothing on the train except staring at the ads, popped a Tums for my stomach, and arrived at Union Hall in Brooklyn less than 10 minutes into the first quarter, I felt much better. I wasn't over the moon but I was grateful, content and felt in alignment. I literally "ACTed my way into right thinking" and whatever voice was discouraging me from venturing out into the world for a little fun had completely fallen away. Pretty cool.
GO GIANTS!!!!!! GO MADONNA!!!
The other part of this little quote is about surprises. On Saturday night I went to one of my oldest, dearest friends' surprise birthday party which her doting husband organized. I met some new people, saw some old familiar faces, and actually felt a lot of pleasure talking to women my age who seem happily married with kids. I was reminded how beautiful and precious it is to be in a loving, healthy relationship.
I recently taught a class (intenSati Single and Sensational 1, I think the second installment will be in April) about feeling empowered while single. I realize how personal the journey is, how wrong it is to ever judge myself or others, the way we all have different needs and desires, etc, etc, but what matters most is knowing what you really want and standing for it with unshakable self respect, even in the moments when nothing would be as comfortable as going back to the old flame. For a while I simply could not do that, I could not stand alone, but once I hit a bottom however many months ago, I never went back. I am finally free. I do still feel sad sometimes, empty sometimes, a bit bored, frustrated, and whatever else. I do still have the occasional flashes of jealousy and envy when seeing other couples and missing the person I cared about deeply, BUT but but, all those feelings pass. This zone is the best place to be for really discovering who I am, what I'm made of and what I really want. I am at peace with feeling those feelings and the truth is they are getting lighter, fewer and farther between. I know that now only because I made the leap.
Life is FULL of surprises every single day. New people, faces, places and opportunities will enter your world at any moment and change the course of your existence, break your rut, shift your thinking, radically alter your career, your love life, health, and potentially so much more. Here's to following the Universe's lead and being recipients of life's many gifts........
Saturday, February 4, 2012
intenSati High Cardio Burn FEB SERIES
Good morning! Just shot this little Vlog for you after class (no make up, sweat, bring it!) and I hope you enjoy. If you were in class today, THANK YOU so much for filling the room with such amazing energy! One note, I said the quote "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams" is by Emerson but it's actually Henry David Thoreau. Here is this month's series!
I am playing full out (PLAY FULL OUT)
right from the start (COMMITMENT)
I am inspired to dream (INSPIRATION)
and follow my heart (DESIRE)
I am honest I keep it real (DIG IT)
with every challenge I learn to deal (CHALLENGE)
Life brings me to it (EXCITED)
Love brings me through it (LOVE)
I know I can do it (FAITH)
every single day (ENTHUSIASM)
Lies, I don't believe them (READY)
Excused, I don't need them (RELEASE)
Setbacks, I don't see them (ABLE)
I am free now (FREE)
I know I'm resilient (EMPOWERED)
Happy is a choice (HAPPY)
there is beauty in the depth (BEAUTY)
and power of my voice (WILLPOWER)
See you in class! I have a guest passes if you are not a member of Equinox and want to come, so just email me before 5pm on Thursday before the Saturday you want to attend. Easy peasy.
Wishing you a wonderful rest of the day and weekend!
With gratitude,
Lindsay
I am playing full out (PLAY FULL OUT)
right from the start (COMMITMENT)
I am inspired to dream (INSPIRATION)
and follow my heart (DESIRE)
I am honest I keep it real (DIG IT)
with every challenge I learn to deal (CHALLENGE)
Life brings me to it (EXCITED)
Love brings me through it (LOVE)
I know I can do it (FAITH)
every single day (ENTHUSIASM)
Lies, I don't believe them (READY)
Excused, I don't need them (RELEASE)
Setbacks, I don't see them (ABLE)
I am free now (FREE)
I know I'm resilient (EMPOWERED)
Happy is a choice (HAPPY)
there is beauty in the depth (BEAUTY)
and power of my voice (WILLPOWER)
See you in class! I have a guest passes if you are not a member of Equinox and want to come, so just email me before 5pm on Thursday before the Saturday you want to attend. Easy peasy.
Wishing you a wonderful rest of the day and weekend!
With gratitude,
Lindsay
Friday, February 3, 2012
Updates on the writing, acting and fitness fronts
Hi, friends!
A few updates to share...
My latest travel piece for BBC.com about the music scene in Philadelphia is posted and can be read here:
http://www.bbc.com/travel/feature/20120202-philadelphias-musical-roots
I have 2 great acting gigs coming up and they're both comedies, which will be amusing (ideally) to say the least:
Monday Feb 13th at 7PM at the Ritz Lounge. I am in a staged reading of the full length comedy "On the Brink" by Nina Mansfield. $5 suggested donation. www.ticket2eternityproductions.com
March 7-10 at 7:30PM and Mar 11 at 3PM I am in a comedic short play called "A Eulogy for Leroy" by Jason Green. It's part of the Winter Comedy Showcase at Shetler Studios Theater (244 W. 54th St) and tickets will go on sale soon.
And finally, on the fitness front, I am teaching intenSati at Equinox Columbus Circle! Class is every Saturday from 8:30AM-9:15AM. Msg me for a guest pass if you're interested in coming to class! Exclamation points for the fitness section, woo hoo!!! #inspireitforward
Want to stay up to date? Follow me on Twitter (LBDinNYC), read my blog (www.lindspiration.blogspot.com) or stalk me on Facebook (Lindsay B. Davis, don't forget the B).
With love, gratitude, and a newfound fondness for social media,
Lindsay xo
A few updates to share...
My latest travel piece for BBC.com about the music scene in Philadelphia is posted and can be read here:
http://www.bbc.com/travel/feature/20120202-philadelphias-musical-roots
I have 2 great acting gigs coming up and they're both comedies, which will be amusing (ideally) to say the least:
Monday Feb 13th at 7PM at the Ritz Lounge. I am in a staged reading of the full length comedy "On the Brink" by Nina Mansfield. $5 suggested donation. www.ticket2eternityproductions.com
March 7-10 at 7:30PM and Mar 11 at 3PM I am in a comedic short play called "A Eulogy for Leroy" by Jason Green. It's part of the Winter Comedy Showcase at Shetler Studios Theater (244 W. 54th St) and tickets will go on sale soon.
And finally, on the fitness front, I am teaching intenSati at Equinox Columbus Circle! Class is every Saturday from 8:30AM-9:15AM. Msg me for a guest pass if you're interested in coming to class! Exclamation points for the fitness section, woo hoo!!! #inspireitforward
Want to stay up to date? Follow me on Twitter (LBDinNYC), read my blog (www.lindspiration.blogspot.com) or stalk me on Facebook (Lindsay B. Davis, don't forget the B).
With love, gratitude, and a newfound fondness for social media,
Lindsay xo
Friday, January 20, 2012
Love as Cause
"It's the cause that gives the tidal wave. You don't wait. Do not wait until you're healed. Stay in the place of depth. Keep listening. Find what touches you deeply. Deeply. Don't negate the love." -Louise
Bill W did not wait until he was a 'cured' alcoholic or with 10,000 members of AA to write the Big Book. The first 100 were the ones who came together, pooled their wisdom and ended up producing a book of instructions and personal narratives which effectively changed the entire course of addiction treatment throughout the world.
If you're waiting for something, stop. You're already in a position to do what you need to do, with all prior experiences being exactly what you needed to experience as your perfect preparation for today's cause of choice.
I'm told.
The most important thing I can do today is love myself. The second most important thing I can do is love others to the best of my ability. For today, that is my cause. Loving.
And, once love is the cause, it causes a ripple, a wave, a flow, an expansion, a connect-the-dots illustration of goodness. It elevates, excites and builds.
How I practice self love today is for one thing, by going where the love is and focusing on those people who truly love and appreciate me for who I am. It's by eating very nourishing foods. Moving my body in class. Treating others with kindness and respect, even those I don't understand, especially those I don't feel aligned with today. I soften the thinking in my head so I'm not beating myself for anything, ever. I dress in a way that is comfortable for my body, head-to-toe. I cultivate gratitude for my present circumstances so I feel how abundant my life is today.
"I don't go to the hardware store for oranges." (Actually, I go to Whole Foods for my oranges, which are organic, and a great winter fruit.)
If I do the above, I will likely FEEL and BEHAVE in a way that supports my health, my well being, my life in flow. If I don't, I will feel tired, crabby, depleted and alone. That doesn't mean I'm any less of a person if I don't show up for myself in a truly self-loving way, it just means I'm not fully exercising my power of choice.
#inspireitforward
Love,
Lindsay
Bill W did not wait until he was a 'cured' alcoholic or with 10,000 members of AA to write the Big Book. The first 100 were the ones who came together, pooled their wisdom and ended up producing a book of instructions and personal narratives which effectively changed the entire course of addiction treatment throughout the world.
If you're waiting for something, stop. You're already in a position to do what you need to do, with all prior experiences being exactly what you needed to experience as your perfect preparation for today's cause of choice.
I'm told.
The most important thing I can do today is love myself. The second most important thing I can do is love others to the best of my ability. For today, that is my cause. Loving.
And, once love is the cause, it causes a ripple, a wave, a flow, an expansion, a connect-the-dots illustration of goodness. It elevates, excites and builds.
How I practice self love today is for one thing, by going where the love is and focusing on those people who truly love and appreciate me for who I am. It's by eating very nourishing foods. Moving my body in class. Treating others with kindness and respect, even those I don't understand, especially those I don't feel aligned with today. I soften the thinking in my head so I'm not beating myself for anything, ever. I dress in a way that is comfortable for my body, head-to-toe. I cultivate gratitude for my present circumstances so I feel how abundant my life is today.
"I don't go to the hardware store for oranges." (Actually, I go to Whole Foods for my oranges, which are organic, and a great winter fruit.)
If I do the above, I will likely FEEL and BEHAVE in a way that supports my health, my well being, my life in flow. If I don't, I will feel tired, crabby, depleted and alone. That doesn't mean I'm any less of a person if I don't show up for myself in a truly self-loving way, it just means I'm not fully exercising my power of choice.
#inspireitforward
Love,
Lindsay
Friday, January 13, 2012
Declaring Victimhood Dead
I wrote this in ten minutes at 8:30AM today, so there are more than a few typos. One things to note is the quote listed below who I wanted to clear permission to credit is from my intenSati mentor Patricia Moreno (www.satilife.com) who continues to lead so many people in a successful conversion from victim to warrior. ~LBD
Morning, sunshines! I'm consistently engaged in the cultural conversation that centers around the meaning of empowerment and more specifically, what it means to play the victim and how to STOP.
My mentors call me out on it, the people I most admire don't do it (or catch themselves and choose another way), I have inspiring family members who've successfully changed the v in victim to Victory, my Jewish brethren are defined by "They wanted us dead, we survived, let's eat" and I have progressed significantly in this arena.
But, alas, there is still some drippy victmy thinking I hold onto. Everything from feeling sorry for myself for time wasted, believing it's too late to have certain things I want career wise, pitying myself for hair issues that concern an area of thinning that 99% of the people I speak to don't notice but I do so it must be fodder for my victim writer, you get the picture.
By becoming aware at first I was so disturbed and frustrated because I didn't get why I was STILL holding onto such stories. As people ask me to ask myself, "What's the payoff?" The obvious payoff of playing the victim in your own life is you don't have to put yourself on the line and risk failure. By making excuses you can always explain away why something didn't happen. Or, maybe you just get the 'benefit' of being taken care of by people who like to take care of victims. They can be very nice.
I was just advised (and once I get clearance to say who advised me I will give credit where credit is due, but for now, she'll remain anonymous) to, "Love her but break the spell she puts on you!" This refers to what I call the Victim Player. Love her. I think I did love her yesterday when I cried like a baby in midtown after a long day and before rehearsal. Listening to the chorus of victim thoughts the VP gives before going to a real chorus rehearsal of beautiful singers praising love, light, God and peace was quite a transition. I promise you I felt much better after rehearsal.
It wasn't about becoming the most empowered woman in the world but releasing the grip of the Victim Player, which lead to none other than a peaceful calm state of being and feelings of gratitude. So, I would say that's probably a good sing you know you're letting go.
NIKE says Just Do It but heroes in their own lives say Just Don't Do It. Really. Take any victim story you're writing and put the pen down. Walk away from the page. Thank it for serving whatever purpose it did. Then, pick up the new pen and rewrite something new that, if you showed it to someone, would not garner an "Awww, I'm sorry, honey. That must be really hard" response. Save those for the BIG things and I'm sure there are a few, not the little ones, if you know what I mean.
For a while, it will probably feel uncomfortable, scary and new. Maybe even lonely. You might doubt you have the strength to declare victimhood dead. You may have to do it over and over and over again to keep your commitment. BUT, I believe fully it will bring about a wonderful change in your life as it has in mine (when I've applied it, which I have many times, YAY) and the other amazing people I know who declare victimhood dead.
Morning, sunshines! I'm consistently engaged in the cultural conversation that centers around the meaning of empowerment and more specifically, what it means to play the victim and how to STOP.
My mentors call me out on it, the people I most admire don't do it (or catch themselves and choose another way), I have inspiring family members who've successfully changed the v in victim to Victory, my Jewish brethren are defined by "They wanted us dead, we survived, let's eat" and I have progressed significantly in this arena.
But, alas, there is still some drippy victmy thinking I hold onto. Everything from feeling sorry for myself for time wasted, believing it's too late to have certain things I want career wise, pitying myself for hair issues that concern an area of thinning that 99% of the people I speak to don't notice but I do so it must be fodder for my victim writer, you get the picture.
By becoming aware at first I was so disturbed and frustrated because I didn't get why I was STILL holding onto such stories. As people ask me to ask myself, "What's the payoff?" The obvious payoff of playing the victim in your own life is you don't have to put yourself on the line and risk failure. By making excuses you can always explain away why something didn't happen. Or, maybe you just get the 'benefit' of being taken care of by people who like to take care of victims. They can be very nice.
I was just advised (and once I get clearance to say who advised me I will give credit where credit is due, but for now, she'll remain anonymous) to, "Love her but break the spell she puts on you!" This refers to what I call the Victim Player. Love her. I think I did love her yesterday when I cried like a baby in midtown after a long day and before rehearsal. Listening to the chorus of victim thoughts the VP gives before going to a real chorus rehearsal of beautiful singers praising love, light, God and peace was quite a transition. I promise you I felt much better after rehearsal.
It wasn't about becoming the most empowered woman in the world but releasing the grip of the Victim Player, which lead to none other than a peaceful calm state of being and feelings of gratitude. So, I would say that's probably a good sing you know you're letting go.
NIKE says Just Do It but heroes in their own lives say Just Don't Do It. Really. Take any victim story you're writing and put the pen down. Walk away from the page. Thank it for serving whatever purpose it did. Then, pick up the new pen and rewrite something new that, if you showed it to someone, would not garner an "Awww, I'm sorry, honey. That must be really hard" response. Save those for the BIG things and I'm sure there are a few, not the little ones, if you know what I mean.
For a while, it will probably feel uncomfortable, scary and new. Maybe even lonely. You might doubt you have the strength to declare victimhood dead. You may have to do it over and over and over again to keep your commitment. BUT, I believe fully it will bring about a wonderful change in your life as it has in mine (when I've applied it, which I have many times, YAY) and the other amazing people I know who declare victimhood dead.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
I Love Joni Mitchell
Joni Mitchell is one of the greatest singer/songwriters alive and whenever I listen to her music, I am instantly transported to whatever world she is painting in her lyrics and melodies. She speaks from a place of such searing honesty that even if the subject is painful, I'm comforted. I'm excited about a new book coming out in 2013, tentatively titled "Blazes All Across The Sky: Writers Respond to the Poetry of Joni Mitchell", by Three O’Clock Press of Toronto. Joni considers herself "a painter first, and a musician second" which is proof positive artists who find ways of expressing themselves in multiple forms don't necessarily need to be considered spreading themselves too thin.
Enjoy!
I woke up it was a Chelsea morning and the first thing that I saw
was a sun through yellow curtains and a rainbow on my wall
blue red green and gold to welcome you -JM
Enjoy!
I woke up it was a Chelsea morning and the first thing that I saw
was a sun through yellow curtains and a rainbow on my wall
blue red green and gold to welcome you -JM
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