I am a new Equinox Fitness intenSati teacher (www.satilife.com) and the sum total of my teaching experience in the studio is about 2 months (averaging 2 classes a week). So, when this morning's 6:30 AM class had only 9 people, down from about 30 a few weeks ago when I took the class over from another instructor (Natalia, on pregnancy leave), well, I felt like this was an indicator of my ineffectiveness as a teacher. I started thinking that I'm not good, that people aren't liking or enjoying me, and that I'm turning people off from this amazing practice!
I'm far enough into this practice to recognize my negative thought train and Slow. It. Dowwwwwwwwwwn.
There may be some areas where I need to improve, but, things may be going on in people's lives that have nothing, nada, zippo to do with me! Business travel, sickness/injury, a new cross-training regimen, etc. It would be foolish of me to think that this is "all my fault" and judge myself harshly, but that is what my saboteur mind likes to do.
So, first I will affirm that I am getting very positive feedback from people about my classes. I will affirm that I am a really strong teacher who LOVES this practice and is exactly where I am supposed to be!
I will also look at what my part is in this that could be causing the result at hand. The following list indicates where I am out of alignment and henceforth giving the Universe mixed signals about my desire to expand and manifest my inspired desires. Remembering that actions speak louder than words:
*I am still not entirely believing in myself and my abilities. That's a thought action that can yield mixed results.
*My eating has not been great and as clean as I like it to be. I've made daily food commitments/promises and I haven't been keeping them, which means that I am diminishing the power of my word.
*I'm not sleeping well. I am averaging 6 hours/night and that means I'm tired, so while I can work hard and do my best, I'm not really at my best because I'm tired! I need to go to bed earlier, period.
*I've been a little unsure about how candidly I want to speak about my experiences when I get in front of the class for the all-important share. I know that I WANT to tell it all because I believe I have an inspirational story that will help others, yet, when push comes to shove I feel afraid of being so honest. I keep doing it -- feel the fear and perservere -- but it's uncomfortable.
*I stopped doing my written affirmations and setting intentions before class and after.
*I am very judgmental and critical of my weight still and have this pervasive thought that I need to be thinner to really belong up there as a teacher/leader, so I'm not bringing "I love my body" into the class if the first thought I have when I get up there is "wow, you still need to lose that belly fat, come on!"
*I can do a MUCH better job getting to know my students -- their names, their interests, etc. -- and welcoming newcomers to the practice. I am really enjoying getting to know the few ones I am speaking with before/after class, through email, so let's keep doing that.
*I can do more to reach out to people and invite them to class through email and Facebook!!
Maybe there's more. Maybe my cueing is a little confusing, my music choices don't get people going as much as I'd like, I don't know...So, I affirm that I am OPEN to the Universe telling me exactly what I need to hear, so I can adjust and be the best teacher I can be for me and my students, YES!!! I am also OPEN to learning what is not in my control and appreciating that I don't have to take everything personally!
I guess this leads me to the serenity prayer, with which I will close:
G'd grant me the serenity*
to accept the things I cannot change**
the courage to change the things I can***
and the wisdom to know the difference****
Thank you for reading!! SEE YOU IN MY AMAZING, POWERFUL, UPLIFTING, LINDSPIRATIONAL INTENSATI CLASSES!! :)~L
6:30 AM Wed/Fri at Chelsea Equinox (17th St/10th Ave)
10:30 AM Saturday in Central Park (email firstname.lastname@example.org to RSVP)
7AM Wednesday at ParkAve/33rd Equinox
6:30AM Friday at Chelsea Equinox (17th St/10th Ave)
10:30 PM Saturday in Central Park (email email@example.com to RSVP)
12:45 PM Saturday at Lexington/63rd Equinox
Guest passes available for all Equinox classes and CP intenSati is free, just RSVP!