Catching crossed
signals
a peaceful slowing down
where is there
space
that isn't theatre
amplifying
competing
practicalities
superficialities
or
accepting
through people acting
like angels
brilliant colors my
joy from all angles
life looking beautiful now
whether I'm looking within
or
out
or
up
consciously pointing out what
moves, motivates
thrills me
distancing myself from that
beast
that sickness
whatever words could attempt
always unsuccessfully
to describe the suffering it causes
...
golden moments
precious
emerge only after distance
is acquired
not by running or walking
even
but by
releasing those cement blocks
stepping around potholes you fell into
many many times before
accepting once again once more
those fine, finite principles that say
simply
the past is over and like
a new moon cycle you
true
come along again.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Just A Little Bit of Heart and Soul
I've been listening to John Shannon's album American Mystic (www.johnshannonmusic.com) and it feels like one long, beautiful, made-for-adults lullaby. His lyrics and melodies soothe me, while others activate my imagination, and still some just quiet my mind so I can find the stillness I crave at the end of the day.
In Golden Eagle, he sings, "Slow like a golden eagle. Make space for your soul."
I think about what that means to me and how my life is helping me along with that desire, and I have to smile. I differentiate my soul from my heart. To me, my heart centered place is one where my passions are born, where my love and compassion live and from where I form attachments. My soul is different. My soul feels like my map. It has all the places I've been and perhaps will go. It is alive with feelings and memories from childhood and it anticipates experiences that are yet to come.
I do wonder if my life can provide enough space for my soul, which clearly wants to expand. I think it can. I think the Universe is giving me exactly what I need for my soul to emerge. I have a teaching platform I love, new relationships with people who are bringing more joy into my life, opportunities to be a creative artist, a home that is quiet, spacious and lovely...
The heart is different. It is a strong, solid muscle and captured in this poem by the Sufi poet Khan:
The ideal alone is heart's deity.
A constant yearning its life.
The heart's not concerned with life or death,
The heart stands firm through all strife.
The heart handles setbacks by bouncing back and getting fired up again. It handles success by saying, Yes, this is amazing, I love it, gimme more!!! The soul says a gentle Thank You for the lessons inherent in both setbacks and successes. It grows with both.
The heart becomes weak through resentments and anger. While the heart shrinks with aggression, the soul hides and waits patiently for the storm to pass. The heart knows no fear but the soul can sit under fear's cloud unless it's tended to and consoled (consouled - with soul, ooh, love it!).
On a related note, I want to write how grateful I am to everybody who helped support my effort yesterday to teach intenSati in Central Park with NY-1 filming it, since I was chosen to be "New Yorker of the Week". It was a resounding success and I am so happy the day was gorgeous and everybody involved seemed to really enjoy themselves. The segment airs Nov. 6-9th on NY-1 as well as www.ny1.com for a lonnnnnnng time.
In Golden Eagle, he sings, "Slow like a golden eagle. Make space for your soul."
I think about what that means to me and how my life is helping me along with that desire, and I have to smile. I differentiate my soul from my heart. To me, my heart centered place is one where my passions are born, where my love and compassion live and from where I form attachments. My soul is different. My soul feels like my map. It has all the places I've been and perhaps will go. It is alive with feelings and memories from childhood and it anticipates experiences that are yet to come.
I do wonder if my life can provide enough space for my soul, which clearly wants to expand. I think it can. I think the Universe is giving me exactly what I need for my soul to emerge. I have a teaching platform I love, new relationships with people who are bringing more joy into my life, opportunities to be a creative artist, a home that is quiet, spacious and lovely...
The heart is different. It is a strong, solid muscle and captured in this poem by the Sufi poet Khan:
The ideal alone is heart's deity.
A constant yearning its life.
The heart's not concerned with life or death,
The heart stands firm through all strife.
The heart handles setbacks by bouncing back and getting fired up again. It handles success by saying, Yes, this is amazing, I love it, gimme more!!! The soul says a gentle Thank You for the lessons inherent in both setbacks and successes. It grows with both.
The heart becomes weak through resentments and anger. While the heart shrinks with aggression, the soul hides and waits patiently for the storm to pass. The heart knows no fear but the soul can sit under fear's cloud unless it's tended to and consoled (consouled - with soul, ooh, love it!).
On a related note, I want to write how grateful I am to everybody who helped support my effort yesterday to teach intenSati in Central Park with NY-1 filming it, since I was chosen to be "New Yorker of the Week". It was a resounding success and I am so happy the day was gorgeous and everybody involved seemed to really enjoy themselves. The segment airs Nov. 6-9th on NY-1 as well as www.ny1.com for a lonnnnnnng time.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Not Knowing Is A Great Place To Be
We're given a chance each day to embrace how little we know about the way certain things will turn out. Yes, we can embrace or we can let the mystery drive us crazy! It's funny because when I was a child, I used to read Nancy Drew from cover to cover with lightening speed. I would stay up late with the book and a flashlight under my blanket, creating heightened stakes for the story while I read it voraciously. I fashioned myself a raven-haired, crime stopping investigator, and I loved putting clues together, one my one, until the mystery was solved. Who did it? How? I think I figured things out ahead of Ms. Drew almost every time but maybe the books were designed that way to give sharp readers a sense of satisfaction, I don't know...
The difference with real life is there really is nothing to solve. Yes, the journey and future is full of mystery and clues, but there is not some sort of thing, Lindsay's Life, to figure out. I've tried really hard to steer things in certain directions time and time again. I've sought out career paths and relationships, and I've built up and constructed my identity in such a way that I thought would warrant the kinds of results I want. Yet, it never feels like enough. I mean, I never feel like enough with respect to the kind of control I am seeking that I simply can't have, don't have and won't ever have.
So, I think I'm turning some kind of growth corner. I desire things very deeply and sometimes think I have the best design in mind to achieve my goals. I have a sense of who I am and what makes me tick, the kinds of people, activities and experiences that feed me on physical, emotional, and soulful levels. Yet, I find myself -- and more frequently these days during this fall season of letting go -- shucking a lot of my designs and best laid plans right up to the Universe. I say things like, I think I know what I want and that this might be the best way to get them, but can you please show me the way and what's for my highest good? Things fall into my lap that I never anticipated would bring me joy, growth, peace, and light, and if I was strictly adhering to my plan and only what I think I want, I wouldn't have been open to receive them.
That's very mysterious to me but I'm going to leave my Nancy Drew hat at home and just try and go with the flow.
The difference with real life is there really is nothing to solve. Yes, the journey and future is full of mystery and clues, but there is not some sort of thing, Lindsay's Life, to figure out. I've tried really hard to steer things in certain directions time and time again. I've sought out career paths and relationships, and I've built up and constructed my identity in such a way that I thought would warrant the kinds of results I want. Yet, it never feels like enough. I mean, I never feel like enough with respect to the kind of control I am seeking that I simply can't have, don't have and won't ever have.
So, I think I'm turning some kind of growth corner. I desire things very deeply and sometimes think I have the best design in mind to achieve my goals. I have a sense of who I am and what makes me tick, the kinds of people, activities and experiences that feed me on physical, emotional, and soulful levels. Yet, I find myself -- and more frequently these days during this fall season of letting go -- shucking a lot of my designs and best laid plans right up to the Universe. I say things like, I think I know what I want and that this might be the best way to get them, but can you please show me the way and what's for my highest good? Things fall into my lap that I never anticipated would bring me joy, growth, peace, and light, and if I was strictly adhering to my plan and only what I think I want, I wouldn't have been open to receive them.
That's very mysterious to me but I'm going to leave my Nancy Drew hat at home and just try and go with the flow.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
A Tale of Two Classes
The last 72 hours have been really exciting for me! On Monday, I was asked to sub for Patricia Moreno at Equinox (Columbus Circle) during a prime time slot that typically draws about 75 students! It was a great day because trailers for two separate films I shot over the summer were released (synchronicity) and so by the time it came around for me to teach, I was literally beaming!! I was so allowing ALL the abundance to enter my world in not one but two lines of work -- acting and intenSati. The result? I taught my best class yet and got incredible feedback and encouragement! I felt my power as a motivator and just knew I was helping this group give 100%. It was amazing.
Cut to this morning, 7 AM intenSati at Park Avenue/33rd and it was a verrrrrry different vibe, to say the least. Everybody, myself included, seemed to be just waking up. Admittedly, I think I was kind of still in Monday, mentally. In addition to feeling physically drained from that class (it was that intense, trust me), it's like I just wanted to bask in the good feelings of that accomplishment for about a week. :) You know, just reread the emails I got from students and Patricia which were incredibly affirming. But that's not how this works, ha ha! That moment is done, over, passed. My job was to be there this morning, present, alert and ready to give another 100%. There were about 9 or 10 students, some of whom had never taken intenSati before. Maybe I was projecting, but for the first 10 minutes I thought, "They're going to walk out. I'm exhausted and look like I'm trying too hard." So, I decided to be honest and I said, "Hey, I'm not really feeling it right now and I don't know if you are, but maybe we all can help get the energy up in here, what do you say?!" I swear, that shifted things! The energy moved and the class got rolling. Lesson 1: Let the moments that passed be the past. Be more mindful of living in the present and I'll be at my most powerful. Lesson 2: Always start from that honest place, which is the awareness (Sati) portion of this practice. I can't shift until I know where I am, until I know the place from which I'm shifting. So in acknowledging the truth of my feelings, I allow for something new to enter. In this case, it did!
Different experiences, each valuable in their own way. Monday was a blow-the-roof-off-the-gym class experience! This morning was a more intimate class that really allowed me to give personal attention to each student, including the newbies, and that's a GREAT way to introduce the practice. Walking into 75 students shouting affirmations can be intimidating or exhilerating depending on your preference, so a smaller class can be wonderful for certain people. I never know and that's a cool part of this -- I just do my best and then let it go.
This Abundance series, with its focus on creating and allowing for all the riches you desire (material, emotional, spiritual, you name it!) to enter your life, has inspired me to really ask (the Universe, my boss, colleagues and friends) for what I really want. In addition, and this is MUY IMPORTANTE, I decided I'm also going to do better with the wealth I have. Toward that end, I've hired a coach to help me with my personal finances and we started our work last night. Things like budgeting, saving, organizing my finances and spending without guilt are on my list of things to master. I feel very empowered that I'm taking these steps. Suzie Orman would have her day with me; there is a lot of room for improvement in this realm.
I've also encouraged my students to think about how they define the word "rich"? For me, I feel rich when I am accepting my friends' and family's love for me. Since I want an even deeper love that comes from being in a relationship, I'm asking for that, too. The result? I'm having so much more fun dating now and getting to know myself and my needs. I can't believe how many more dates I've had since affirming my own desire for the deep love of an incredible man and also saying to myself, YES, There is an abundance of GREAT men in this city! My old tape, that there are no good single guys out there, is old news. It's tossed. When it returns, I mute it.
"Worrying is like a rocking chair. You go forward and backwards but it takes you nowhere."
Ask for what you want! Affirm that you deserve it! Trust that it (or something better) is on the way and that you don't have to be perfect to allow the good to come to you!
Cut to this morning, 7 AM intenSati at Park Avenue/33rd and it was a verrrrrry different vibe, to say the least. Everybody, myself included, seemed to be just waking up. Admittedly, I think I was kind of still in Monday, mentally. In addition to feeling physically drained from that class (it was that intense, trust me), it's like I just wanted to bask in the good feelings of that accomplishment for about a week. :) You know, just reread the emails I got from students and Patricia which were incredibly affirming. But that's not how this works, ha ha! That moment is done, over, passed. My job was to be there this morning, present, alert and ready to give another 100%. There were about 9 or 10 students, some of whom had never taken intenSati before. Maybe I was projecting, but for the first 10 minutes I thought, "They're going to walk out. I'm exhausted and look like I'm trying too hard." So, I decided to be honest and I said, "Hey, I'm not really feeling it right now and I don't know if you are, but maybe we all can help get the energy up in here, what do you say?!" I swear, that shifted things! The energy moved and the class got rolling. Lesson 1: Let the moments that passed be the past. Be more mindful of living in the present and I'll be at my most powerful. Lesson 2: Always start from that honest place, which is the awareness (Sati) portion of this practice. I can't shift until I know where I am, until I know the place from which I'm shifting. So in acknowledging the truth of my feelings, I allow for something new to enter. In this case, it did!
Different experiences, each valuable in their own way. Monday was a blow-the-roof-off-the-gym class experience! This morning was a more intimate class that really allowed me to give personal attention to each student, including the newbies, and that's a GREAT way to introduce the practice. Walking into 75 students shouting affirmations can be intimidating or exhilerating depending on your preference, so a smaller class can be wonderful for certain people. I never know and that's a cool part of this -- I just do my best and then let it go.
This Abundance series, with its focus on creating and allowing for all the riches you desire (material, emotional, spiritual, you name it!) to enter your life, has inspired me to really ask (the Universe, my boss, colleagues and friends) for what I really want. In addition, and this is MUY IMPORTANTE, I decided I'm also going to do better with the wealth I have. Toward that end, I've hired a coach to help me with my personal finances and we started our work last night. Things like budgeting, saving, organizing my finances and spending without guilt are on my list of things to master. I feel very empowered that I'm taking these steps. Suzie Orman would have her day with me; there is a lot of room for improvement in this realm.
I've also encouraged my students to think about how they define the word "rich"? For me, I feel rich when I am accepting my friends' and family's love for me. Since I want an even deeper love that comes from being in a relationship, I'm asking for that, too. The result? I'm having so much more fun dating now and getting to know myself and my needs. I can't believe how many more dates I've had since affirming my own desire for the deep love of an incredible man and also saying to myself, YES, There is an abundance of GREAT men in this city! My old tape, that there are no good single guys out there, is old news. It's tossed. When it returns, I mute it.
"Worrying is like a rocking chair. You go forward and backwards but it takes you nowhere."
Ask for what you want! Affirm that you deserve it! Trust that it (or something better) is on the way and that you don't have to be perfect to allow the good to come to you!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Heart A Flutter
Hi, good morning! I woke up today feeling ready to intend that today will be capital G great. I was relieved that the army of troops I pulled out to defeat my cold/cough situation -- Vitamin D, a ton of sleep, water, chamomile tea, fresh green juices, and positive affirmations to the tune of I AM HEALTHY NOW, I LOVE AND ACCEPT MY BODY IN ITS HEALTHY AND RESTORED STATE -- worked! This morning I feel so much better. Good thing, because I am on stand by to sub an intenSati class tonight. Still waiting for the good word but if it comes, I'm ready!!
I was thrilled to find an email in my inBox this morning announcing that the trailer for an independent feature film I shot over the summer is ready. I watched it and I'm at the top of it, wow! It's the first full length film I shot and I'm in one significant scene. It's such a patient process (always grateful for the chance to practice patience, ha ha) to wait for a film to be completed and seeing the trailer gave me a jolt of excitement, which tells me that I am on the right path. I let my emotions be my guide and a little heart flutter tells me the dream is alive and well! I care A LOT about acting and making it as an actor, I know this because of the exhileration I feel when I audition for, shoot and now see a finished product. My dreams become reality through persistent desire, belief, practice and inspired actions! Actors talk about the dedication and persistence it takes as well as how to let go. I am being tested and I affirm and honor my own efforts.
I am cozying up to my life now by appreciating all the good in it. I'm realizing that the affirmations I'm focusing on this month, which include "When I feel abundant, abundance finds me" are incredibly powerful. I now feel abundant in my body, in the size of my Equinox classes and my teaching, my beautiful friendships, my social life -- only because I kept affirming how good it is, focusing on the richness of it, and allowing it to all feel like enough. I used to look at a magazine spread and feel insecure that I wasn't a size 4, that I had belly fat. I used to let myself spend hours worried and upset, bowing to the Inferiority Complex god. Now, I am just feeling like my body is strong and gorgeous, and it's enough to be a size 6 without a 6 pack, you know!? I'm still working on my core (internal and external) but I'm not doing it from a place of self rejection, which is just incredible.
I affirm more growth and expansion, yes, and let it happen in the Universe's time. I feel satisfied. I am so grateful for people who are teaching me about acceptance and peace, as well as how to have faith in a power greater than myself.
The sky is so beautiful and it is limitless. I look up now as much as I can toward it and imagine myself free from shackles and chains that bring me down or hold me back, including scarcity thoughts that remind me of anything other than the richness of my life. My heart skips a beat at the beauty of this season and even my own beauty, which I'm seeing and feeling. I don't feel this way all the time, but as long as I feel this way now, I figured a great idea is to share it. I hope you enjoyed this post and that you feel the abundance of your beautiful, rich self and life today!
I was thrilled to find an email in my inBox this morning announcing that the trailer for an independent feature film I shot over the summer is ready. I watched it and I'm at the top of it, wow! It's the first full length film I shot and I'm in one significant scene. It's such a patient process (always grateful for the chance to practice patience, ha ha) to wait for a film to be completed and seeing the trailer gave me a jolt of excitement, which tells me that I am on the right path. I let my emotions be my guide and a little heart flutter tells me the dream is alive and well! I care A LOT about acting and making it as an actor, I know this because of the exhileration I feel when I audition for, shoot and now see a finished product. My dreams become reality through persistent desire, belief, practice and inspired actions! Actors talk about the dedication and persistence it takes as well as how to let go. I am being tested and I affirm and honor my own efforts.
I am cozying up to my life now by appreciating all the good in it. I'm realizing that the affirmations I'm focusing on this month, which include "When I feel abundant, abundance finds me" are incredibly powerful. I now feel abundant in my body, in the size of my Equinox classes and my teaching, my beautiful friendships, my social life -- only because I kept affirming how good it is, focusing on the richness of it, and allowing it to all feel like enough. I used to look at a magazine spread and feel insecure that I wasn't a size 4, that I had belly fat. I used to let myself spend hours worried and upset, bowing to the Inferiority Complex god. Now, I am just feeling like my body is strong and gorgeous, and it's enough to be a size 6 without a 6 pack, you know!? I'm still working on my core (internal and external) but I'm not doing it from a place of self rejection, which is just incredible.
I affirm more growth and expansion, yes, and let it happen in the Universe's time. I feel satisfied. I am so grateful for people who are teaching me about acceptance and peace, as well as how to have faith in a power greater than myself.
The sky is so beautiful and it is limitless. I look up now as much as I can toward it and imagine myself free from shackles and chains that bring me down or hold me back, including scarcity thoughts that remind me of anything other than the richness of my life. My heart skips a beat at the beauty of this season and even my own beauty, which I'm seeing and feeling. I don't feel this way all the time, but as long as I feel this way now, I figured a great idea is to share it. I hope you enjoyed this post and that you feel the abundance of your beautiful, rich self and life today!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
When it lightens up, it BRIGHTENS up!!
We've all heard this expression: When it rains it pours!
It's like, the worse it gets, the worse. it. gets.
Same thing for the good stuff. It's coming into my life in groves these days and that's partially because the way I'm looking at things is changing. I'm choosing to focus on the good aspects of just about everything, so now I feel like I have this incredibly full plate of GOOD, which of course is scaring me a bit.
What scares me?
The thought that if I expand, grow, open, brighten and feel more exuberance then there will be a big, UGG winter boot waiting to drop (that's the other shoe, work with me here) and it won't only drop, it will land on my head. Ouch.
Another fear? I'll fuck it up!!! I'll fuck up the good that lands in my lap. I'll lose opportunities that I'm given.
Or, maybe people won't like me if I'm happier. I'm trying to let go of this overactive need to be liked (been working on that one for a lonnnnnnng time) but I just know that when I was really harboring some serious depression, self pity, and resentments, I couldn't stand happy people. I distanced myself from them. Maybe I'm a little caught up in that fear, too.
Also, it's unfamiliar to be in the kind of new territory I'm in. So, whereas I kind of knew what I was going to get before, now that my attitude, actions and external circumstances are changing significantly, I really don't know WHAT I'm going to get. It can be an exciting adventure or a trip down anxiety lane.
What am I going to choose? (Cue dramatic drums -- bum bum bum)
I want to choose good. I want to choose go with the flow. In fact, even as I affirm my deep desire for more abundance, my desire now is to actually accept, allow and honor all that I have now WITH GRACE and not fear. I want to smile and relax. I don't need any more...yet. :) I just want to work with what is and live in freedom.
My gratitude list is shaping up, big time! I am employed at a great media company with fabulous benefits and it's teaching me about the television business. I teach intenSati at Equinox which I LOVE, as you well know. I am dating and enjoying myself, which is a new thing and beautiful. I am closer to my goal weight and taking such better care of my body, also beautiful. It's my favorite season of the year. I have a beautiful 1-bedroom apartment that is quiet, spacious and has beautiful colored walls, among other things. I have wonderful friends. I am in recovery. My list goes on. My parents are healthy. I can overuse the word beautiful and not jump to the conclusion that it means I am a bad writer. Or, if I start thinking I'm a bad writer, I know how to turn that thought around, too. One by one. Two by two. It's enough.
There is a Jewish Passover song called Dayenu and it's an expression of thanks to the Source of life for all the blessings the Jewish people felt they received. It would have been enough, they sang, but then there was more. My people knew/know how to appreciate! Yes, it really is enough.
So, the lighter it gets, the brighter it gets and the brighter it gets, the BRIGHTER it gets. If you're sensitive to light like I am, it's okay. You can learn to adapt. I think the key is to keep breathing, saying yes, and whispering (or if you're in an intenSati class, SHOUTING!) the words Thank You.
It's like, the worse it gets, the worse. it. gets.
Same thing for the good stuff. It's coming into my life in groves these days and that's partially because the way I'm looking at things is changing. I'm choosing to focus on the good aspects of just about everything, so now I feel like I have this incredibly full plate of GOOD, which of course is scaring me a bit.
What scares me?
The thought that if I expand, grow, open, brighten and feel more exuberance then there will be a big, UGG winter boot waiting to drop (that's the other shoe, work with me here) and it won't only drop, it will land on my head. Ouch.
Another fear? I'll fuck it up!!! I'll fuck up the good that lands in my lap. I'll lose opportunities that I'm given.
Or, maybe people won't like me if I'm happier. I'm trying to let go of this overactive need to be liked (been working on that one for a lonnnnnnng time) but I just know that when I was really harboring some serious depression, self pity, and resentments, I couldn't stand happy people. I distanced myself from them. Maybe I'm a little caught up in that fear, too.
Also, it's unfamiliar to be in the kind of new territory I'm in. So, whereas I kind of knew what I was going to get before, now that my attitude, actions and external circumstances are changing significantly, I really don't know WHAT I'm going to get. It can be an exciting adventure or a trip down anxiety lane.
What am I going to choose? (Cue dramatic drums -- bum bum bum)
I want to choose good. I want to choose go with the flow. In fact, even as I affirm my deep desire for more abundance, my desire now is to actually accept, allow and honor all that I have now WITH GRACE and not fear. I want to smile and relax. I don't need any more...yet. :) I just want to work with what is and live in freedom.
My gratitude list is shaping up, big time! I am employed at a great media company with fabulous benefits and it's teaching me about the television business. I teach intenSati at Equinox which I LOVE, as you well know. I am dating and enjoying myself, which is a new thing and beautiful. I am closer to my goal weight and taking such better care of my body, also beautiful. It's my favorite season of the year. I have a beautiful 1-bedroom apartment that is quiet, spacious and has beautiful colored walls, among other things. I have wonderful friends. I am in recovery. My list goes on. My parents are healthy. I can overuse the word beautiful and not jump to the conclusion that it means I am a bad writer. Or, if I start thinking I'm a bad writer, I know how to turn that thought around, too. One by one. Two by two. It's enough.
There is a Jewish Passover song called Dayenu and it's an expression of thanks to the Source of life for all the blessings the Jewish people felt they received. It would have been enough, they sang, but then there was more. My people knew/know how to appreciate! Yes, it really is enough.
So, the lighter it gets, the brighter it gets and the brighter it gets, the BRIGHTER it gets. If you're sensitive to light like I am, it's okay. You can learn to adapt. I think the key is to keep breathing, saying yes, and whispering (or if you're in an intenSati class, SHOUTING!) the words Thank You.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
How Much Good Do You Allow?
One of the affirmations from the series I'm teaching goes, "I now allow all good to come to me" and I absolutely love it! The movement is a step touch with the feet and a rolling of the hands (a la Tina Turner, Rollin', rollin, rollin like a river, uh uh uh!!) towards you. Add a little shoulder shimmy and you're there! I had a really strong feeling this morning that I need to expand my personal definition of "all good". Now, it's easy to look at things like a raise at work or getting a very desirable acting gig as "all good", right? Or, meeting a very handsome man (actor/filmmaker) that stops me on the street to tell me I'm pretty and invite me for a smoothie (this happened *today* on my way to the Apple Store after class, I swear, abundance!). You know, the positive results, rewards, ripe fruits of persistent labor, etc...
But what about the tough lessons? The obstacles, the challenges, the times I feel hurt after trusting someone and being let down? Could that also be part of the "all good" I choose to allow? I think so. It's how I choose to look at it, and I can always frame something as a good experience which helped me grow, mature and understand myself, and hopefully someone else, more deeply. It's all good, yes, even the stuff from my past about which I used to feel regret and disappointment that now seems more like patchwork on a sweet, country quilt of experiences that make me exactly who I am.
Another affirmation from the series I'm teaching goes, "Yes, I want it and I expect it!" and the "it," in this case, is abundance. Expecting abundance is about going out into the world looking for reasons to be grateful! Whether it's the sun rising, my body moving and breath flowing, or getting cast on The Daily Show (had to throw that in there! It hasn't happened yet, but I'm working on it!!!), finding $5 on the bus or meeting someone who will change my life forever, I've got to be open to it and looking for it! Closed doors won't allow it in! I've decided I'm like a lawyer arguing the case for feeling rich, every day, and winning the case against those thoughts that yield fear, lack, poverty or futility. That opposition voice can be strong and persistent. I'm learning, however, that I can take it to town and really choose to focus on the things I have and win that case! Good thing I'm also the judge and the jury in this scenario/metaphor.
One slightly sentimental story before I go. I saw a bird with a broken wing on my way home today from class while I was walking along 59th Street by the park. It had just stormed so maybe this bird was thrown from his nest, I don't know. A man cupped the little bugger in his hands and placed it on the grass, away from pedestrian traffic, where it might be able to heal. I watched the man release the bird and my first thought was, Tweety is finished, done, kaput and some nasty rat or raccoon will have him for supper later! Bit of a pessimistic projection there -- my little doomsday scenario for this poor bird. As I walked on by I did rethink it, admit there was a chance he'd be okay and affirm that this bird was, in fact, very inspiring. He kept trying to fly, making many efforts to get up off the grass despite his very deformed and obviously broken wing. So again, I'm being a bit sentimental here, but I can certainly identify with a desire for flight and freedom, as well as feeling that my own means of lift off, my wings, are impeded. That I lack the apparatus or machinery for the trip of my wildest dreams. Yet, with my continued practice, faith and persistence, I realize that is just an illusion. Nothing, nothing nothing nothing, is holding me back at all, except my occasional "stinkin' thinking", which is getting healthier and sweeter with my daily practice. :)
Thank you sooooo much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this post! if you have any comments you can't post here for some reason, please email them to me at davis.lindsay@gmail.com. Yes!
Have a great night,
Lindsay
But what about the tough lessons? The obstacles, the challenges, the times I feel hurt after trusting someone and being let down? Could that also be part of the "all good" I choose to allow? I think so. It's how I choose to look at it, and I can always frame something as a good experience which helped me grow, mature and understand myself, and hopefully someone else, more deeply. It's all good, yes, even the stuff from my past about which I used to feel regret and disappointment that now seems more like patchwork on a sweet, country quilt of experiences that make me exactly who I am.
Another affirmation from the series I'm teaching goes, "Yes, I want it and I expect it!" and the "it," in this case, is abundance. Expecting abundance is about going out into the world looking for reasons to be grateful! Whether it's the sun rising, my body moving and breath flowing, or getting cast on The Daily Show (had to throw that in there! It hasn't happened yet, but I'm working on it!!!), finding $5 on the bus or meeting someone who will change my life forever, I've got to be open to it and looking for it! Closed doors won't allow it in! I've decided I'm like a lawyer arguing the case for feeling rich, every day, and winning the case against those thoughts that yield fear, lack, poverty or futility. That opposition voice can be strong and persistent. I'm learning, however, that I can take it to town and really choose to focus on the things I have and win that case! Good thing I'm also the judge and the jury in this scenario/metaphor.
One slightly sentimental story before I go. I saw a bird with a broken wing on my way home today from class while I was walking along 59th Street by the park. It had just stormed so maybe this bird was thrown from his nest, I don't know. A man cupped the little bugger in his hands and placed it on the grass, away from pedestrian traffic, where it might be able to heal. I watched the man release the bird and my first thought was, Tweety is finished, done, kaput and some nasty rat or raccoon will have him for supper later! Bit of a pessimistic projection there -- my little doomsday scenario for this poor bird. As I walked on by I did rethink it, admit there was a chance he'd be okay and affirm that this bird was, in fact, very inspiring. He kept trying to fly, making many efforts to get up off the grass despite his very deformed and obviously broken wing. So again, I'm being a bit sentimental here, but I can certainly identify with a desire for flight and freedom, as well as feeling that my own means of lift off, my wings, are impeded. That I lack the apparatus or machinery for the trip of my wildest dreams. Yet, with my continued practice, faith and persistence, I realize that is just an illusion. Nothing, nothing nothing nothing, is holding me back at all, except my occasional "stinkin' thinking", which is getting healthier and sweeter with my daily practice. :)
Thank you sooooo much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this post! if you have any comments you can't post here for some reason, please email them to me at davis.lindsay@gmail.com. Yes!
Have a great night,
Lindsay
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