So, for the last however many days, as most of you know, I've been writing these daily emails and sending them to this FB group "intenSati with Lindsay Davis" and posting them on my plug, I mean blog, www.Lindspiration.blogspot.com. :)
A few people asked me if I write the night before, which I answered with a resounding No, after which point I fight the burning impulse to take a lie detector test, scan the results into a pdf file and attach it to an email for internal distribution, juuuust in case you don't really believe me! I am not a lawyer though at one point I wanted to be one, so instead I just have "prosecutor/defendant" scenarios going on in my head all the time. I even created a storyline whereby I really am "cheating" and so I have to write a mass email saying, "I apologize for lying to you, my loyal readers. I was really writing these for many hours, with style guide and dictionary.com in hand, the...night...(sniffle)...be (weep)...foreeeaaaaahhh! I AM SO SORRY!"
Ah, the mind, the mind...Thank you for such interesting projections that I can bring to Sally (my therapist) tonite! Isn't Sally the best, most innocuous name for a therapist? I think I've stayed with her so long because of her name. Also, because she's from Vermont. Or New Hampshire. It doesn't matter, I'm not supposed to know about her.
Btw, the admission that I'm in therapy is not a big reveal (or surprise to you, I'm sure) AT ALL. Telling you all for how long --12 years on and off with different counselors -- is a bit more daring. Still, it's such an important tool in my life that I mention it just to say how powerful it's been for me to have a place to go and just feel. I highly recommend everybody find a Sally they can talk to. :)
So, it takes a little time and practice to learn to trust ourselves, doesn't it? Same deal with trusting others. When I couldn't trust myself, I had a much harder time trusting anybody! I judged me and failed me --> I judged you and I expected you to fail me! Not a fun way to live.
Do you go about your business expecting that people will let you down so that "If it's gonna be done right, it's gotta be done by me!" Or, when in a relationship or even just dating (or even chatting a stranger up for the first time in a coffee shop) do you get that thought, "I just know s/he will be cheating on me soon enough!!" even when you don't have any evidence to support the idea at all (being cheated on in the past doesn't count)?
I truly believe that if you walk around with a doubting mentality then the world will give you many more reasons to doubt people and circumstances. So, let's clear the way today to open our minds and hearts, yes! It's normal to fear you'd behave like a naive child if you lived that way but the truth is when you come from a place of trusting, I think what happens is you have greater access to intuition. For me, usually, if there is a reason NOT to trust, I get a very clear signal in my belly (like a little dolphin poking up for more air) that tells me "danger" and I know to proceed with caution or not proceed at all.
Instead of being a lawyer prosecuting liars and the lies they tell, be the detective who is collecting evidence of integrity and alignment, starting with yourself. You can do it! Start with the most basic and simple actions if you need to, anything to start believing in yourself. Did you brush your teeth like you said you would? Nice job! :) See, starting small is all good...
Closing thought: I trust myself today! I honor myself for my honesty. I look at others through the lenses I create and attract trustworthy people and situations.
Have a GORGEOUS day and ENJOY the sunshine!! :)! xo, Lindsay