Yes, it's a really good morning!
Don't be so hard on yourself. - Seal
I'm letting go of a few rules I've created.
The first concerns blogging every morning. I've been doing since March 1st, 2010 (haven't skipped a day) and while it's proven to be a tremendous learning experience and one that's really helped build my confidence as a writer, right now it feels like too much pressure. So, I'm releasing it and giving myself a new freedom. If I feel like writing, I will. If I don't, I won't.
The second concerns the rule I made about the kind of content I would write about. I've been very personal on this little internet portal of goodness but throughout I've been feeling, at times, uncomfortable with the extent of my sharing. I was trying to be courageous and strong and most importantly to teach myself and others that there is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to honesty, feelings and experiences. I looked at the way people expose themselves physically and thought to myself that if we are all so comfortable with people showing off a lot of skin, why can't we get comfortable expressing what's beneath our skin. I've been attracted all my life to writers, actors, and artists of all kinds who reveal themselves and offer so many windows into human nature. I just aspired to be as courageous.
Well, I admire my ambition and intention but I need to take better care of myself. There is a reason people write books or take some time to formulate blog posts, articles, etc. You have a little help with the editing, a time delay to really make sure you want to share and reveal what you've written, and there is even a feeling of security between the hard covers. Not so much in the blogosphere. That said, I'm really grateful that my openness helps people -- including me -- to really grow. I have evidence it does thanks to readers' generous comments and feedback (thank you!!). Everything for a reason.
The last rule I am lifting is the one which said I must have a strong response from readers in order to justify writing. I realized yesterday that I had this hang up which is why this blog was becoming less fun for me at times. I was really seeking and pining for external validation. Outside appreciation can't be the incentive. Inside awareness is what I really want anyway.
I was so interested in acquiring a voice or a sensibility. -Joyce Carol Oates
I've learned a lot about myself in the last few weeks and will say this -- the duality of fragility and strength has never been more obvious to me in my life. I see the strength I possess, the one which has me going kamikaze on crutches through midtown Manhattan during rush hour to hail a cab. The same strength that supports me while I face my demons, learn from mistakes, accept imperfections, focus on ambitions, practice my passions, accept my beauty and meet my specific needs. I see the fragility clearly, too. I am a deeply sensitive person and believe that MOST people are as well. Some know it but some are just unbelievably detached from their feelings and sensitivities. I am just grateful I'm so aware I am delicate because it only inspires me to take better, wonderful care of myself.
I've changed the header on my blog from "Through" to "Heal and Attract". I do want to focus my attention on healing the body, mind and spirit as well as attracting abundance and manifesting the heart's desires.
I've created an intenSati (www.satilife.com) series for August. I like it. :) Now I have to figure out when/where to teach it, most likely from a chair, or perhaps with a movement assistant leading the way. TBD. Enjoy! I've listed the affirmation to say and the attitude to feel!
I am grateful
for life's abundance
and my confidence
What I visualize
PLAY FULL OUT
Every single day I say
I love it
and I deserve it!
I use positive energy
ENERGY to the right
To heal myself
INTENTION right leg
I use positive energy
ENERGY to the left
To help someone else
INTENTION left leg
I surrender what was
In this moment I am love
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p.s. In case you missed the hyperlinks above, go to the section I discuss fragility and strength and click on the words...