Yesterday was a BIG day. I had physical therapy at 7:30AM, an important networking phone call with a music writer at 9AM, a full day at work from 9:30AM-5:30PM that involved wrapping up an interview I did with an up-and-coming British singer/songwriter for BBCAmerica.com and going out to lunch with my stellar coworkers, intenSati with Erin Stutland at 6:30PM (class rocked and I played full out!) and then at 8:30PM I went to meet the last actor I was considering for the role of Lewis the Bike Messenger in my play "Suspended".
By the time I met the actor Jake Green in the East Village, with the trendy kids looking so hot and the Manhattan air feeling SO chilly, I thought I was going to collapse.
I don't say this for brownie points or to draw another "How do you do it?!" from my endearing mom -- actually, I'm not sure why I feel inclined to share this information. Does it help you to hear I'm busting ass? Does it help me to share about it? I'm not sure.
I ended up casting Jake and not just because I was beaten down from fatigue. :) He is very funny and gave a great read. Incidentally, he is fresh off the heels of playing a Messenger in "Antony and Cleopatra" at Hartford Stage directed by Tina Landeau. The show and Jake's work received great reviews and, get this, they used bike messengers as inspiration for developing the character. Tina literally had a collage for Jake with photos and images of bike messengers during the rehearsal process. I didn't know this until after I offered Jake the role -- nice synchronicity, I'd say! I like the Cleopatra coincidence, too, since I just blogged "What Would Cleopatra Say?" a few weeks ago. I guess she'd say cast Jake Green.
On the trip home, I felt a little less tired. I was relieved I completed the casting. I ate dinner at 10PM and passed out. Ok, maybe I am looking for something from outside of me. Let me give it to myself right now:
Nice work, Linds. Let it go. You did enough and you are enough! Saturday morning is smiling at you. Breathe.
Yes, it's Saturday morning. Things are a little different now that I am no longer teaching at 9AM. In case you don't know, there was a schedule change and mine was removed. Honestly, I'm still adjusting to this and the feelings I have about it. Ultimately, you become great at something by doing it and now, well, I'm not doing it. Even though I know intellectually that it was nothing personal nor was it a reflection of my teaching, even though spiritually I do have faith that the Universe is always working FOR me and on my behalf, I still feel some disappointment and I miss my students a lot!
I know that anytime something happens over which you had or have no control, you're going to feel some emotions that are uncomfortable. But then you have the choice between wallowing in feeling bad about it or practicing acceptance and moving on. I'm going for the latter but there are moments when my EI (Emotional Intelligence) feels a lot less advanced than my intellect.
E I E I Ohhhhhh, maaaaaaaan, wahhhhhhhhh!!!! becomes more like it, I'd say.
Being human is fun, isn't it? I guess it's about letting certain feelings go so they don't overstay their welcome. Maybe emotions are like your in laws who come to visit. You just know when it's time for them to go home, right?
I don't have in laws, yet, btw. Feelings, yes. In laws, not so much. Winning!!! :)
Have a great day and weekend! xo