Good morning!
I woke up with a knowing that I truly AM who I want to be. That the whole time I've been what and who I long for yet I felt fractured from it. An aspect of me which some call the Ego prefers to think I am NOT that which I want to be. It thinks you probably are and if you actually are, it tells me to be very afraid because then there's none left for me.
As if traits and qualities are like the last cookie in the jar and I need to steal it.
I was not born to follow. I love learning and being taught but I am not a follower and as I establish footing in my own career and my personal life, I can feel my true self emerging. Being me, expressing myself authentically, this is what makes me feel most connected to my Higher Power. I looooooove feeling connected to HP, so I am further drawn to be real. There is incentive in Source.
It is crushing to get up every day and feel cut off from who you are. I know this, because I've spent years feeling this way with only momentary glimpses of Me which felt like those little rays of sunshine that peak through an otherwise cloudy day (aka the last 4 months in NYC but not today, woo hoo!!!). I always thought it was something like my job that kept me feeling the way I did. As if being an Executive Assistant is the thing which compels me to forget I'm a brilliant, creative artist. Or, that making a certain salary causes me to forget I'm as intelligent and worthy as people making a looooot more than what I make but we just chose different tracks. Even being single was an outside circumstance to blame, as if it is the reason I forget my beauty, sensuality, attractiveness and loving nature.
If you are letting your life become an amnesia activator, can you wake up and start remembering who you really are?
Trusting in who you are before your external circumstances match or reflect it, committing to expressing yourself before others even give a shit to hear it (I used to post this blog for me, my mom and 6 friends. I'm now at about 300 reads a day now on average and that really feels great), and letting go of this limited, tiny COOKIE MONSTER THINKING to embrace the incredible, limitless ABUNDANCE in this Universe that manifests and appears through you, through ALL of us, is what I call true FREEDOM.
I stand in it for myself today and I stand in it for you. The Buddhist psychologist Tara Brach, whose podcasts I delight in almost every night before I go to bed these days, says humans tend to be like teflon for JOY and velcro for pain. That it takes intention, mindfulness and a practice to change that up a bit. We are working with limbic systems and survival brains that tell us to be afraid, aspects of our DNA that are anxious to protect us -- it used to serve a purpose but outlasted its usefulness. The evolution is towards wholeness and happiness, but it isn't going to happen unless we come together and choose to practice.
I hope this feels like good news. It does to me! It's deeply affecting, actually. For a long time I thought I was having a big identity crisis and would forever behave like a college student switching majors 10x, not knowing what to do with herself, feeling insecure and tired. I was just waiting to be rescued and follow other people from the disturbing Land of Confusion to the promise land of solutions. Waiting to be SEEN. Needing to be HEARD. Begging to be VALIDATED. Fighting to be FIXED.
How increeeeeedibly exhaaaaaauuuuusting........
I love me some simplicity.
Bye bye Cookie Monster Thinking!!
Hello, Essence.
With love,
Lindsay
ps. OK, I just want to say that I was scouring the web for a Cookie Monster link and found this post from the HuPo on 4/21. Apparently, I just tapped into the cultural zeitgeist and Cookie Monster is becoming a columnist! Love it.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Acceptance 101 and the Gift of Renewal
Good morning!
I woke up happy. I actually went to sleep happy after a fun night seeing my friend/fellow intenSati instructor, Darbi Worley, perform at the People's Improv Theatre. Bravo!! There were about 6 or 7 intenSati peeps there and it is always just so much fun to gather outside the gym. It really made me smile!
What else is making me smile? Spring has arrived. I think. I'm about to go to Central Park after this post to find out but from the feel of the breeze through my window and the sound of children's voices from downstairs, I'd say things are looking good.
Since I tend to use this particular blog as a place to share about my physical fitness, health and wellness goals (btw, big THANKS to everybody who commented on my post the other day. I'll have you know I've added 30 push-ups and 100 crunches to my daily routine), I will share a little more.
Since my ankle surgery last July to repair torn ligaments, I've been doing 2 sessions of physical therapy a week. I started almost as soon as I got off crutches in October. That's 7 months of physical therapy. I am on my 4th expert. There was the first guy that felt good but not stellar, the second guy who was great at first but then I didn't like his personality or the intensity with which he pressed into my trigger points at 6:30am in the morning, the third guy who I loved but didn't take my insurance and now the 4th, Derek, who is excellent, takes my insurance, has a nice personality and feels like he has the best traits of 1-3 without any drawbacks.
Derek is a very soft spoken, kind, Polish physical therapist with a lot degrees and a hands on approach that sometimes feels like he literally is underneath the skin of my leg and ankle with soft gloves. This may sound gross but to this girl who used to watch knee repair and open heart surgeries on TV for fun in high school, it's kind of cool. Derek is the best thing that's ever happened to my ligaments, tendons and muscles. He does manual manipulation and massage with the gentleness of a fine artist delicately dabbing his brush into a palette of paint and onto a page.
That said, he is not the bearer of the kind of news I've wanted, which is full 100% recovery with me back in soccer, dance and high heeled action by summer. On the contrary, he very gently points out that my ankle is not healed to perfection, there is still some minor ligament damage that wasn't corrected (the ones with the two tears were fixed, yes, but there was add'l damage) and since this was my third surgery, there is scar tissue and who knows what else that is creating some mobility and stability problems, still. Each week he asks me what activities I am doing and slightly winces when I describe the intense aerobics classes. He smiles when I say words like "yoga", "pilates" or "I took a few days off."
Sooooo, the dancing, jumping, lateral movements, zig zag cuts, even jogging any distance above a mile -- all not great for my ankle right now and risky. There is a decent chance I won't ever play soccer again. Same goes for heels beyond a slight little Aerosole or Easy Spirit lift (note to the design teams at Aerosole and Easy Spirit: I value your effort at making a comfortable, durable shoe for women who need them but can you PLEASE up your style quotient a bit? Comfort and cool are not mutually exclusive!).
I've been talking about MOTs lately. A Moment of Truth is when you just get hit square between the eyes and the knowledge flows into your gut. It's the Knowing. Yesterday, my MOT came when I realized I had to stop doing the movements that are outside what I am allowed and able to do now. I have to err on the even more conservative side. I have to let go of doing more than my body can comfortably and safely do until, well, possibly forever but for now I'll just say for one day at a time.
Hopes dashed much? Sort of. But something about a MOT is often you knew it all along. At least from a soccer standpoint, a part of me just knew I wasn't going to get back to business, if only because I don't even go through this rehab process again! :0 So, I'd rather just err on the side of caution. I know athletes who stay competitive well into their adult years and the result isn't pretty. I say bring on the pretty, aka, me in one piece and out of the surgical ward.
THEN, part two of my MOT happened when I realized how much JOY and GRATITUDE I can still feel despite this grief inducing realization, despite daily pain and aches in my foot, despite the cravings and DESIRE I feel to do more than I can handle right now. Once my tears were done flowing, I felt so grateful I can do what I CAN do -- yoga, intenSati without jumping, cycling (spin class is OK but I need the right shoes or else it's too much pressure on my toes), walking, who knew there was such joy in walking, dancing freestyle, and, my new favorite, being a little sedentary every once in a while.
I thought about having a summer ahead of me where I won't be on crutches like last year and I felt so happy. When I was in the Strand book browsing (and buying, of course), I found a book that just jumped into my arms. It's called "How Soccer Explains The World: An Unlikely Theory of Globalization" by Franklin Foer. Apparently, according to the Chicago Tribune, someone has "brought back a kaleidoscope view of a vibrant game and the people who believe in it." I guess there are other ways to appreciate soccer!
So, I share this today to help myself deal and live in the adage "acceptance is the answer to all our problems" for starters but also with the hope that it inspires YOU to look at where you need to find a little more peace and acceptance with what is. Tara Brach, the Buddhist psychologist, has this great talk where she says that no dream of your future is better than the present moment you have right now. She says studies show that happier people are not the dreamers who are constantly living in their head about that better day -- the promise of the time when the relationship is finally here, the career is soaring, the bank account over floweth, your body is in perfect health, etc etc etc. Rather, an opening to your essence, your source, your buddha nature, whatever you call it, IS where your most abundant feeling of happiness can be found.
Now.
How often we wrap ourselves in a blanket of identity or identification and even as Life is happening exactly to help us evolve, we cling to that blanket like Linus. Don't be a Linus. Life says let go. It says let go every single day. Cells restore themselves, skin regenerates, Spring returns, and all that change you were resisting is meant to be embraced. Renewal is an inevitable and important part of our life cycle. So, apropos to the Easter holiday, I say YES to renewal (but no to bonnets, they never worked for me) and I honor the perfection of the imperfect journey.
My soul longs for loving, happy and passionate living. My heart wants to embrace my life today. Does yours?
Best,
Lindsay
I woke up happy. I actually went to sleep happy after a fun night seeing my friend/fellow intenSati instructor, Darbi Worley, perform at the People's Improv Theatre. Bravo!! There were about 6 or 7 intenSati peeps there and it is always just so much fun to gather outside the gym. It really made me smile!
What else is making me smile? Spring has arrived. I think. I'm about to go to Central Park after this post to find out but from the feel of the breeze through my window and the sound of children's voices from downstairs, I'd say things are looking good.
Since I tend to use this particular blog as a place to share about my physical fitness, health and wellness goals (btw, big THANKS to everybody who commented on my post the other day. I'll have you know I've added 30 push-ups and 100 crunches to my daily routine), I will share a little more.
Since my ankle surgery last July to repair torn ligaments, I've been doing 2 sessions of physical therapy a week. I started almost as soon as I got off crutches in October. That's 7 months of physical therapy. I am on my 4th expert. There was the first guy that felt good but not stellar, the second guy who was great at first but then I didn't like his personality or the intensity with which he pressed into my trigger points at 6:30am in the morning, the third guy who I loved but didn't take my insurance and now the 4th, Derek, who is excellent, takes my insurance, has a nice personality and feels like he has the best traits of 1-3 without any drawbacks.
Derek is a very soft spoken, kind, Polish physical therapist with a lot degrees and a hands on approach that sometimes feels like he literally is underneath the skin of my leg and ankle with soft gloves. This may sound gross but to this girl who used to watch knee repair and open heart surgeries on TV for fun in high school, it's kind of cool. Derek is the best thing that's ever happened to my ligaments, tendons and muscles. He does manual manipulation and massage with the gentleness of a fine artist delicately dabbing his brush into a palette of paint and onto a page.
That said, he is not the bearer of the kind of news I've wanted, which is full 100% recovery with me back in soccer, dance and high heeled action by summer. On the contrary, he very gently points out that my ankle is not healed to perfection, there is still some minor ligament damage that wasn't corrected (the ones with the two tears were fixed, yes, but there was add'l damage) and since this was my third surgery, there is scar tissue and who knows what else that is creating some mobility and stability problems, still. Each week he asks me what activities I am doing and slightly winces when I describe the intense aerobics classes. He smiles when I say words like "yoga", "pilates" or "I took a few days off."
Sooooo, the dancing, jumping, lateral movements, zig zag cuts, even jogging any distance above a mile -- all not great for my ankle right now and risky. There is a decent chance I won't ever play soccer again. Same goes for heels beyond a slight little Aerosole or Easy Spirit lift (note to the design teams at Aerosole and Easy Spirit: I value your effort at making a comfortable, durable shoe for women who need them but can you PLEASE up your style quotient a bit? Comfort and cool are not mutually exclusive!).
I've been talking about MOTs lately. A Moment of Truth is when you just get hit square between the eyes and the knowledge flows into your gut. It's the Knowing. Yesterday, my MOT came when I realized I had to stop doing the movements that are outside what I am allowed and able to do now. I have to err on the even more conservative side. I have to let go of doing more than my body can comfortably and safely do until, well, possibly forever but for now I'll just say for one day at a time.
Hopes dashed much? Sort of. But something about a MOT is often you knew it all along. At least from a soccer standpoint, a part of me just knew I wasn't going to get back to business, if only because I don't even go through this rehab process again! :0 So, I'd rather just err on the side of caution. I know athletes who stay competitive well into their adult years and the result isn't pretty. I say bring on the pretty, aka, me in one piece and out of the surgical ward.
THEN, part two of my MOT happened when I realized how much JOY and GRATITUDE I can still feel despite this grief inducing realization, despite daily pain and aches in my foot, despite the cravings and DESIRE I feel to do more than I can handle right now. Once my tears were done flowing, I felt so grateful I can do what I CAN do -- yoga, intenSati without jumping, cycling (spin class is OK but I need the right shoes or else it's too much pressure on my toes), walking, who knew there was such joy in walking, dancing freestyle, and, my new favorite, being a little sedentary every once in a while.
I thought about having a summer ahead of me where I won't be on crutches like last year and I felt so happy. When I was in the Strand book browsing (and buying, of course), I found a book that just jumped into my arms. It's called "How Soccer Explains The World: An Unlikely Theory of Globalization" by Franklin Foer. Apparently, according to the Chicago Tribune, someone has "brought back a kaleidoscope view of a vibrant game and the people who believe in it." I guess there are other ways to appreciate soccer!
So, I share this today to help myself deal and live in the adage "acceptance is the answer to all our problems" for starters but also with the hope that it inspires YOU to look at where you need to find a little more peace and acceptance with what is. Tara Brach, the Buddhist psychologist, has this great talk where she says that no dream of your future is better than the present moment you have right now. She says studies show that happier people are not the dreamers who are constantly living in their head about that better day -- the promise of the time when the relationship is finally here, the career is soaring, the bank account over floweth, your body is in perfect health, etc etc etc. Rather, an opening to your essence, your source, your buddha nature, whatever you call it, IS where your most abundant feeling of happiness can be found.
Now.
How often we wrap ourselves in a blanket of identity or identification and even as Life is happening exactly to help us evolve, we cling to that blanket like Linus. Don't be a Linus. Life says let go. It says let go every single day. Cells restore themselves, skin regenerates, Spring returns, and all that change you were resisting is meant to be embraced. Renewal is an inevitable and important part of our life cycle. So, apropos to the Easter holiday, I say YES to renewal (but no to bonnets, they never worked for me) and I honor the perfection of the imperfect journey.
My soul longs for loving, happy and passionate living. My heart wants to embrace my life today. Does yours?
Best,
Lindsay
Friday, April 22, 2011
Don't Praise Me Because I'm Bountiful
Good morning!
I was tested last night.
I went to Equinox to try an inspiring new fitness class called Torch. Torch was developed by a group called Bartendaz in Harlem playgrounds and public schools as a way to help kids get in shape through fun but challenging conditioning sequences. Now it's being taught at Equinox! I was drawn to it because there is also a mindfulness component that encourages self empowerment and leadership, plus, one of the teachers is my good friend and fellow intenSati istructor, Dyan Tsiumis. Want to know more? Check out D and Bartendaz looking and doing SO GOOD in this clip on Channel 7 ABC news!
Well, despite being at a pretty good level of fitness myself, after about 5 minutes of class I wanted to call Houston. I had more than just a problem. I had about 10. There were my legs, which felt like they had lead shooting through my veins keeping me from lifting my feet off the ground. There was my wardrobe malfunction that was not exactly the Janet moment I've always dreamed of attaining. There was my awkward, uncontrollable giggle fit that escaped my lips in between movements, particularly the one that closely resembled the running man (FUN!). Then, there was a large, intrusive (aren't they always) Moment of Truth that happened after I hit the ground to perform a sequence of push ups over 30 seconds:
1, Yes. 2, Yes. 3, Yes. 4, Yes. 5, Yes. 6, Ehhhh. 7, Shiiit. 8, Omg. 9, I caaaan't. 10, My arms are going to fall off. 11, I suck!!!!
I'm not even going to tell you what happened when we went into the core conditioning sequence. I would like to buy a consonant:
W!
and two more consonants:
T! F!!!
(For more on WTF and how how to turn it into something what works for you, check out this incredible intenSati Workout/ Workshop with Natalia Petrzela and self-help author Dr. Christine Whelan coming up in May!)
Now, back to my core.
Certain exercises are not currently in my skill set. Last night, I saw clearly how much more I want to accomplish. I've talked about total body conditioning before but I just let it fall off my priority list and then I get pissed. But there is nobody to get pissed at but myself.
That's when another MOT comes. You ask yourself if you're ready to take on the challenge of setting NEW goals, accomplishing a HIGHER LEVEL or if you want to walk away. No harm no foul either way. Actually, there is foul. It's a choice to make whether you want to settle or excel.
Here is what I know. This may sound so basic but, well, as one of my best friend's fictitious character that is part of her 1-woman show likes to say, "It's all about the basics, Carolann." Yes. The basics. The basics of accomplishing a goal go like this --
1. Practice makes progress.
2. To gain strength, you must use muscles you want to build. Target them with specificity and they will grow.
3. Start small and increase gradually over time. Start with 1 pushup a day. Progress to 5. Then 10.
4. If you want to improve, be prepared to get out of your comfort zone and into your challenge zone.
5. Give yourself props. Your own self encouragement will keep your head in the game.
That final point about self encouragement is a big one for me now. I've certainly had my share of external motivation -- both motivation and incentives. I've been so fortunate to have a LOT of very positive coaches and mentors in my life. I look at what I've accomplished and know that I am where I am, in part, because of all the positive praise I've received throughout my life. I am grateful.
That said, I also can't say enough how much I don't want to hear it anymore. At all. I have my own inner voice that still is twisted up in some negativity and self sabotage and my intuition is telling me the breakthrough I SEEK, the one I am truly aiming for, is going to be the direct result of one thing and one thing only: ME.
I need to quiet down, hear myself think, focus and make the necessary corrections.
I am still happy to praise you if you need and want it!! Yes, yes, yes. Whatever it is you want to get done, YOU CAN DO IT. Just please don't praise me in return. I am bountiful!! So are you. I won't praise you if you don't want it. We always have it all within ourselves and just need to unearth the goods. :) With love.
LBD
I was tested last night.
I went to Equinox to try an inspiring new fitness class called Torch. Torch was developed by a group called Bartendaz in Harlem playgrounds and public schools as a way to help kids get in shape through fun but challenging conditioning sequences. Now it's being taught at Equinox! I was drawn to it because there is also a mindfulness component that encourages self empowerment and leadership, plus, one of the teachers is my good friend and fellow intenSati istructor, Dyan Tsiumis. Want to know more? Check out D and Bartendaz looking and doing SO GOOD in this clip on Channel 7 ABC news!
Well, despite being at a pretty good level of fitness myself, after about 5 minutes of class I wanted to call Houston. I had more than just a problem. I had about 10. There were my legs, which felt like they had lead shooting through my veins keeping me from lifting my feet off the ground. There was my wardrobe malfunction that was not exactly the Janet moment I've always dreamed of attaining. There was my awkward, uncontrollable giggle fit that escaped my lips in between movements, particularly the one that closely resembled the running man (FUN!). Then, there was a large, intrusive (aren't they always) Moment of Truth that happened after I hit the ground to perform a sequence of push ups over 30 seconds:
1, Yes. 2, Yes. 3, Yes. 4, Yes. 5, Yes. 6, Ehhhh. 7, Shiiit. 8, Omg. 9, I caaaan't. 10, My arms are going to fall off. 11, I suck!!!!
I'm not even going to tell you what happened when we went into the core conditioning sequence. I would like to buy a consonant:
W!
and two more consonants:
T! F!!!
(For more on WTF and how how to turn it into something what works for you, check out this incredible intenSati Workout/ Workshop with Natalia Petrzela and self-help author Dr. Christine Whelan coming up in May!)
Now, back to my core.
Certain exercises are not currently in my skill set. Last night, I saw clearly how much more I want to accomplish. I've talked about total body conditioning before but I just let it fall off my priority list and then I get pissed. But there is nobody to get pissed at but myself.
That's when another MOT comes. You ask yourself if you're ready to take on the challenge of setting NEW goals, accomplishing a HIGHER LEVEL or if you want to walk away. No harm no foul either way. Actually, there is foul. It's a choice to make whether you want to settle or excel.
Here is what I know. This may sound so basic but, well, as one of my best friend's fictitious character that is part of her 1-woman show likes to say, "It's all about the basics, Carolann." Yes. The basics. The basics of accomplishing a goal go like this --
1. Practice makes progress.
2. To gain strength, you must use muscles you want to build. Target them with specificity and they will grow.
3. Start small and increase gradually over time. Start with 1 pushup a day. Progress to 5. Then 10.
4. If you want to improve, be prepared to get out of your comfort zone and into your challenge zone.
5. Give yourself props. Your own self encouragement will keep your head in the game.
That final point about self encouragement is a big one for me now. I've certainly had my share of external motivation -- both motivation and incentives. I've been so fortunate to have a LOT of very positive coaches and mentors in my life. I look at what I've accomplished and know that I am where I am, in part, because of all the positive praise I've received throughout my life. I am grateful.
That said, I also can't say enough how much I don't want to hear it anymore. At all. I have my own inner voice that still is twisted up in some negativity and self sabotage and my intuition is telling me the breakthrough I SEEK, the one I am truly aiming for, is going to be the direct result of one thing and one thing only: ME.
I need to quiet down, hear myself think, focus and make the necessary corrections.
I am still happy to praise you if you need and want it!! Yes, yes, yes. Whatever it is you want to get done, YOU CAN DO IT. Just please don't praise me in return. I am bountiful!! So are you. I won't praise you if you don't want it. We always have it all within ourselves and just need to unearth the goods. :) With love.
LBD
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Who is Bossypants Fey?
Good morning!
I had a conversation with my very brilliant, verrrry intellectual uncle at our Sedar about Atlas Shrugged, the book by Ayn Rand which is now a movie. There was this lovely, embarrassing moment I had during our discussion when I said to my uncle, "What's the character's name again? Peter?" to which he replied in a thunderous bellow of enthusiasm,"John Galt! Who is John Galt? If you don't know this then you haven't really read the book."
To this I replied, "Yes I did! My mom leant it to me like 15 years ago. Isn't it about an architect and his relentless pursuit of individualism?"
My uncle didn't catch that I was confusing AS with The Fountainhead because he had already begun to wax philosophical about the meaning of the phrase "Who is John Galt?" and the rather, um, extreme ideals that Ms. Rand postulates about the weak and underprivileged. I believe he quoted Rand as saying, "Let them perish." Then he started talking about The Tea Party. We are both on the same side of the political fence. I don't wish harm on anybody but if The Tea Party as a movement perished, I'd have no problems with that at all.
The character in The Fountainhead is not named Peter, either, btw. It's Howard Roarke. Oh, yeah. Now the whisperings of John Galt and Howard Roarke started to rise in my mind. I did read both books. Just a side note about retention. I am convinced that two things have contributed greatly to what has become a compromised capability to remember what I learned in college and in my 20s (I'm 33 now). The first are the struggles I had with depression, anxiety and food, which I think screwed with my memory. The second is the advent of the internet which has hurled more data and information at us then our brains want to handle. It diverts, distracts and disrupts our attention. I was an English major at Cornell and did very well! :) I was a reader. I read but do not feel like A Reader these days but SO much of what I've read feels like a bear in hibernation. It's in there, alright, it's just curled up sleeping on its side and snoring.
Sometimes I think about getting an MFA in English lit just to go deep into novels again. I love them so much. I wouldn't go on Facebook for two years, I swear.
So, the conversation with my uncle about the book I read but didn't read led to one about another book I haven't read, but not in the "read it but didn't read it" sense of the word. I've really never read it. What? The New Testament. Bible numero dos. Ah, now here we have a Peter! My uncle asked me, "Do you believe in God? Do you believe Mind?" Do I believe in something bigger than the brain, some kind of Universal mind outside ourselves? "Yes, I do. Actually, I believe in the Tibetan concept of the mind, which says the mind is alllllll over my body! My head to toe mind is more than my brain." I was trying to steer the conversation into a religious area (Buddhism) which I could talk about with a little more confidence but that wasn't going to happen. Oh no. I was about to get schooled in the inconsistencies of the Bible (Old and New) and since I new I would have very little to say (if I can't recall what I learned at Cornell you think I'm going to pull up what I learned at Temple Beth Elohim?) I reached for a macaroon and in reclined deeper in my chair.
I listened intently while taking small bites of the chewy, coconut infused pastry. I enjoyed the learning. I love to listen to people drop knowledge about anything, from the microscopic makings of a euglena to the meaning of hieroglyphics. In this case, all I kept thinking as my uncle talked was God is a Gemini. (So am I, btw, so if you want to judge me me as having a God complex, feel free.) God has two faces. There is all this "good" and just, right, fair, loving treatment. Then there is the other side. The cruel, the harsh, the fear inducing, the one who taketh away. That's God, too. So maybe there aren't consistencies in the Bible because maybe God is ALL THAT IS.
Check out my awesome friend Tiffany Vaca's post about getting her prayer game on while riding the subway.
Since I spend about 90 minutes a day commuting, I like to listen to audiobooks on my iPod. I just bought Tina Fey's memoir, "Bossypants". I LOVE it and highly recommend you go out and get this book. If you're looking for book suggestions based on this post, I'd definitely recommend Bosspants over The New Testament, Old Testament, Atlas Shrugged or The Fountainhead. Who is John Galt? Irrelevant. Who is Bossypants Fey? That's what I'm talking about.
Best,
LBD
I had a conversation with my very brilliant, verrrry intellectual uncle at our Sedar about Atlas Shrugged, the book by Ayn Rand which is now a movie. There was this lovely, embarrassing moment I had during our discussion when I said to my uncle, "What's the character's name again? Peter?" to which he replied in a thunderous bellow of enthusiasm,"John Galt! Who is John Galt? If you don't know this then you haven't really read the book."
To this I replied, "Yes I did! My mom leant it to me like 15 years ago. Isn't it about an architect and his relentless pursuit of individualism?"
My uncle didn't catch that I was confusing AS with The Fountainhead because he had already begun to wax philosophical about the meaning of the phrase "Who is John Galt?" and the rather, um, extreme ideals that Ms. Rand postulates about the weak and underprivileged. I believe he quoted Rand as saying, "Let them perish." Then he started talking about The Tea Party. We are both on the same side of the political fence. I don't wish harm on anybody but if The Tea Party as a movement perished, I'd have no problems with that at all.
The character in The Fountainhead is not named Peter, either, btw. It's Howard Roarke. Oh, yeah. Now the whisperings of John Galt and Howard Roarke started to rise in my mind. I did read both books. Just a side note about retention. I am convinced that two things have contributed greatly to what has become a compromised capability to remember what I learned in college and in my 20s (I'm 33 now). The first are the struggles I had with depression, anxiety and food, which I think screwed with my memory. The second is the advent of the internet which has hurled more data and information at us then our brains want to handle. It diverts, distracts and disrupts our attention. I was an English major at Cornell and did very well! :) I was a reader. I read but do not feel like A Reader these days but SO much of what I've read feels like a bear in hibernation. It's in there, alright, it's just curled up sleeping on its side and snoring.
Sometimes I think about getting an MFA in English lit just to go deep into novels again. I love them so much. I wouldn't go on Facebook for two years, I swear.
So, the conversation with my uncle about the book I read but didn't read led to one about another book I haven't read, but not in the "read it but didn't read it" sense of the word. I've really never read it. What? The New Testament. Bible numero dos. Ah, now here we have a Peter! My uncle asked me, "Do you believe in God? Do you believe Mind?" Do I believe in something bigger than the brain, some kind of Universal mind outside ourselves? "Yes, I do. Actually, I believe in the Tibetan concept of the mind, which says the mind is alllllll over my body! My head to toe mind is more than my brain." I was trying to steer the conversation into a religious area (Buddhism) which I could talk about with a little more confidence but that wasn't going to happen. Oh no. I was about to get schooled in the inconsistencies of the Bible (Old and New) and since I new I would have very little to say (if I can't recall what I learned at Cornell you think I'm going to pull up what I learned at Temple Beth Elohim?) I reached for a macaroon and in reclined deeper in my chair.
I listened intently while taking small bites of the chewy, coconut infused pastry. I enjoyed the learning. I love to listen to people drop knowledge about anything, from the microscopic makings of a euglena to the meaning of hieroglyphics. In this case, all I kept thinking as my uncle talked was God is a Gemini. (So am I, btw, so if you want to judge me me as having a God complex, feel free.) God has two faces. There is all this "good" and just, right, fair, loving treatment. Then there is the other side. The cruel, the harsh, the fear inducing, the one who taketh away. That's God, too. So maybe there aren't consistencies in the Bible because maybe God is ALL THAT IS.
Check out my awesome friend Tiffany Vaca's post about getting her prayer game on while riding the subway.
Since I spend about 90 minutes a day commuting, I like to listen to audiobooks on my iPod. I just bought Tina Fey's memoir, "Bossypants". I LOVE it and highly recommend you go out and get this book. If you're looking for book suggestions based on this post, I'd definitely recommend Bosspants over The New Testament, Old Testament, Atlas Shrugged or The Fountainhead. Who is John Galt? Irrelevant. Who is Bossypants Fey? That's what I'm talking about.
Best,
LBD
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Well, Hellooooo, Grandpa!
Good morning!
I saw my parents last night at our family's Passover Sedar and have clearance to tell a story my mom and dad told me a few weeks ago. Before I begin, let me just say that the Sedar was very enjoyable and I am fortunate, grateful and happy I have such a beautiful family.
Okay. My grandpa died on December 26, 1957. He suffered from rheumatic fever and complications to his heart. My father was just 13 years old at the time, his older brother 19, and his younger brother about 8 or 9. I never had the chance to know this man and over the years my dad's furnished only a few details. He was very handsome. "Like a matinee idol." Charismatic. He was smart but uneducated. My grandpa ran a few laundromats in Brooklyn and also had a smoking pipe shop. He crafted the pipes himself but when wood was rationed in WW2, was essentially driven out of business.
My dad hasn't visited his father's grave, which is in Mount Zion Cemetery in Maspbeth, NY, in over 10 years. I've never been there myself
but can remember times when I was a kid in the back seat of the car with my family when my dad would point it out to me and my brother from the highway. "Your grandfather is buried here," he'd say, sounding a bit like a museum docent in a rush. When I gazed at the thousands of tombstones, I was always struck by the beauty.
A few weeks ago, my parents had a funeral for one of their friend's mother who died at 94. It was a graveside service at Mount Zion Cemetery.
My parents arrived in a caravan of cars and were the 9th car in line. They knew my grandpa was buried here but had no sense of where. It is a very large ground with over 210,000 burials. As my father was putting the brake on to stop the car, get out, and lay their friend's mother to permanent rest, my father said, "This looks very familiar." He stepped out of his car and looked around, walked a few steps, and paused. He took another step.
What do you think he encountered? Yep. His dad's grave.
My iPhone toting, apps endorsing techie mom snapped a few photos of the plot and tombstone. It's him. Sam Davis. Died Dec 26, 1957. Age 44 Years. Beloved Father and Son.
Talk about being stopped in your tracks.
How do you explain this? Coincidence. Probability. People win the lottery when the odds of choosing their set of numbers is one in, well, I don't know exactly but at least a million, right? Based on random permutations and combinations things do happen but why do I feel like a Higher hand was involved? I've written about the concept of synchronicity before and this definitely qualifies!
Whether or not there is a logical explanation to this, why do I WANT to believe that somehow, some way, something spiritual or mystical is involved here, be it Source, my grandpa, an Angel...
Are we lead to exactly where we are supposed to be? I certainly believe my parents were supposed to be there that morning. They were supposed to feel the presence of my grandpa. What happens from that experience is their choice. What to make of it is their decision. How to process it is their freedom.
Have you ever had an experience that stopped you in your tracks because of its perfect orchestration? Is your spirituality or belief in a higher power encouraged or fueled by these kinds of experiences? I would really like to know so please feel free to comment here or send me an email at lindspiration@gmail.com.
Best,
LBD
Monday, April 18, 2011
Mind and My Own Business
Good morning!
Lately, I've been thinking about my work, my passions and my value in the marketplace.
I am starting to think of myself as the owner of a small business with various product lines to sell. For example, I sell my acting talent, my writing talent, my fitness instruction talent and my executive assistant talents. I'm like the M&M brand with its peanut M&Ms, dark chocolate pretzel M&Ms, coconut M&Ms and almond M&Ms. Similar. Yet, different.
Those coconut ones are surprisingly good!!
I am looking at the concept of "underearning" and whether I am asking for, standing by and receiving what my work is really worth in the marketplace. This blog you're reading, for instance, hasn't been monetized in any variety and while that is the fashion for some blogs, it's really only when the blog is being used to support an entrepreneur's product (her coaching services, book sales, album sales, etc) that the content is given away. I'm also an actress who seems to be avoiding profitable areas (commercial work and voiceover gigs) to live on the rung of working for free. This, after 11 years in the business.
Is there an overabundance of people giving advice? Consultants. Experts. Teachers on matters ranging from love and relationships to small business development to what to wear. Some days I feel like if I someone sounds authoritative or "looks the part" people will listen to advice on just about anything. I am not sure where I fall on this, since some of my writing might sound preachy.
Ultimately, I like to just write about my own experience and share what I am learning.
The word entrepreneur is actually from the French "entrepren" which means "to undertake". Way back in 1913, Webster called an entrepreneur "one who creates a product on his own account." Social entrepreneurship is big now. I am beginning to think about how I can create a new business that helps the world, I mean, really, really helps people and changes lives. Check out this info about social entrepreneurship on PBS.org:
A social entrepreneur identifies and solves social problems on a large scale. Just as business entrepreneurs create and transform whole industries, social entrepreneurs act as the change agents for society, seizing opportunities others miss in order to improve systems, invent and disseminate new approaches and advance sustainable solutions that create social value.
A big part of my self examination with respect to career initiatives has involved figuring out what I desire, knowing my passions, trusting and developing my talent and reaching a clarity around my purpose and how I could help others. I meditate on what feels most inspiring to me and what I want to do on a daily basis that gets me excited to leap out of bed in the morning. I am still clarifying my vision. I am still finding my path. I want deep, deep satisfaction. I want financial freedom.
Here are 3 business coaches I've come across whose content I am really enjoying:
ALEXIS NEELY -- Truth Telling Lawyer and Evolutionary Strategist
SIMON SINEK -- Teaching Leaders How To Inspire Action
MICHAEL BUNGAY STANIER -- Do Less Good Work and More Great Work
Have you found meaningful, fulfilling work? Do you see yourself as an entrepreneur? I would love to hear your thoughts and comments!!
Best
LBD
Lately, I've been thinking about my work, my passions and my value in the marketplace.
I am starting to think of myself as the owner of a small business with various product lines to sell. For example, I sell my acting talent, my writing talent, my fitness instruction talent and my executive assistant talents. I'm like the M&M brand with its peanut M&Ms, dark chocolate pretzel M&Ms, coconut M&Ms and almond M&Ms. Similar. Yet, different.
Those coconut ones are surprisingly good!!
I am looking at the concept of "underearning" and whether I am asking for, standing by and receiving what my work is really worth in the marketplace. This blog you're reading, for instance, hasn't been monetized in any variety and while that is the fashion for some blogs, it's really only when the blog is being used to support an entrepreneur's product (her coaching services, book sales, album sales, etc) that the content is given away. I'm also an actress who seems to be avoiding profitable areas (commercial work and voiceover gigs) to live on the rung of working for free. This, after 11 years in the business.
Is there an overabundance of people giving advice? Consultants. Experts. Teachers on matters ranging from love and relationships to small business development to what to wear. Some days I feel like if I someone sounds authoritative or "looks the part" people will listen to advice on just about anything. I am not sure where I fall on this, since some of my writing might sound preachy.
Ultimately, I like to just write about my own experience and share what I am learning.
The word entrepreneur is actually from the French "entrepren" which means "to undertake". Way back in 1913, Webster called an entrepreneur "one who creates a product on his own account." Social entrepreneurship is big now. I am beginning to think about how I can create a new business that helps the world, I mean, really, really helps people and changes lives. Check out this info about social entrepreneurship on PBS.org:
A social entrepreneur identifies and solves social problems on a large scale. Just as business entrepreneurs create and transform whole industries, social entrepreneurs act as the change agents for society, seizing opportunities others miss in order to improve systems, invent and disseminate new approaches and advance sustainable solutions that create social value.
A big part of my self examination with respect to career initiatives has involved figuring out what I desire, knowing my passions, trusting and developing my talent and reaching a clarity around my purpose and how I could help others. I meditate on what feels most inspiring to me and what I want to do on a daily basis that gets me excited to leap out of bed in the morning. I am still clarifying my vision. I am still finding my path. I want deep, deep satisfaction. I want financial freedom.
Here are 3 business coaches I've come across whose content I am really enjoying:
ALEXIS NEELY -- Truth Telling Lawyer and Evolutionary Strategist
SIMON SINEK -- Teaching Leaders How To Inspire Action
MICHAEL BUNGAY STANIER -- Do Less Good Work and More Great Work
Have you found meaningful, fulfilling work? Do you see yourself as an entrepreneur? I would love to hear your thoughts and comments!!
Best
LBD
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Moody Bliss
Good morning! Happy Sunday.
If you live in NYC, you'll know that we've been at the mercy of Mother Nature's recent bout with manic depression. One day she's all up and sunny and the next thing we know, she's down in the dumps and throwing us a huge wind and rainstorm, the only benefit of which is a boost to Duane Reade's bottom line (they have a much better range of $10 umbrellas than they used to, including lavender and royal blue). Last night it was torrential and I was out for dinner with a friend. I had my laptop tucked inside my lululemon back back and while it didn't remain completely dry, I am so grateful to say it lived and now I'm here to type the tale.
This post is not about weather. But it is about moods.
I was a gregarious, sensitive and emotional kid who became a somewhat moody teen but I had an effective system of controlling my range of emotions. I took things out on my parents.
In between being a very sweet, outwardly pleasant, model exemplar student, one who was on good terms with most people, I would have more than the occasional lapse into bitchiness, anger, foul mouthed antics and hostility with my folks.
I also played a lot of sports which afforded me the opportunity to yell and emote, coach and cry, and take out aggression and anger by kicking balls with great force. The pleasant feelings of success also worked wonders on my mood states, not unlike the endorphin or dopamine spike of a donut without the sugar coma that follows.
In my 20s, after moving out of my house to go away to college and live/work in NYC, the coping technique I most relied on for managing my moods was an eating disorder. The very sad thing about an eating disorder is that as far as moods go, what provides temporary relief from a feeling actually leads to it becoming like the feeling on steroids. At least that's what I observed in myself and many others I knew that were struggling with some kind of anorexic, bulimic or binge eating behaviors. Sad before? Pick up an eating disorder behavior and watch that sadness intensify, morph, deepen, evolve, and expand like a sponge. There is numbness, too.
After getting into recovery, I began to learn, understand and even appreciate that moodiness is a lot more normal than I realized. I was never one to really believe in PMS symptoms, but once I started paying attention to my cycle, I would absolutely see how much more sensitive I'd feel in the week or so before getting period. Then, I started to see how sleep, certain foods, caffeine, alcohol (even small amounts), workload, levels of physical exertion, sex (or lack thereof), meditation and the kind of people I would hang out with were all affecting me big time. Then, I began to view my emotions less as truth and more as a, well, form of creative expression. :)
I was never diagnosed with any kind of bipolar illness but I did deal with major depression as well as anxiety, and at one point took medication. For the last 6 1/2 years, though, I've been without that kind of assistance and sometimes I really wonder if I would benefit from "a little help" again as some suggest. I know it is very helpful and necessary in some instances. Maybe then I wouldn't have to take as many healthy actions to feel good and perhaps I wouldn't be as sensitive. The reason I decline (politely, now that I don't take things out on my parents) is because for the most part I enjoy all the healthy actions I take -- fitness, creativity, health food, sobriety, time in nature, hugs from good friends, attention off appearances and onto inner being, loving kindness, petting strangers' dogs on the street, making jokes -- and they work. I also embrace my sensitivity, which doesn't feel like an intrusion or liability or anymore.
The biggest triggers for me are environments/people that are not fostering my growth, feeding my creativity or respecting who I am and the woman I want to become, financial stress, and romantic relationships. Sometimes when I feel LOW versus low, I recognize it as an old habit of mine to (and I've shared about this before) PUMP UP THE VOLUME of how I'm feeling, as if I need to do that to gain validation or understanding or compassion from someone else, from my loving Source or even from myself. As if intensity will lead to some kind of resolution or relief.
It's not necessary to go into that kind of drama to be heard. As concerns relationships of any sort, if it is, you're not with the right listener.
The warmth of Springtime can't come quickly enough. It beckons me to take long walks without the protection of a heavy coat of armor, to feel free and light and at one with the bountiful trees and flowers. I can imagine myself relaxed in the sunshine, a light wind and soft fabrics against my skin...ahhhhhh, it is all I can do to be patient for the arrival of this relief and beauty.
In the meantime, let the blooming from within continue!
"Sing to me of the daylight
I will sing you a story of moonlight
Will you dance with me
Will you dance with me, baby?
Sunset sound
Sunrise
Sing to me
Lullaby"
-Stevie Nicks
Have a beautiful day!
Love,
LBD
If you live in NYC, you'll know that we've been at the mercy of Mother Nature's recent bout with manic depression. One day she's all up and sunny and the next thing we know, she's down in the dumps and throwing us a huge wind and rainstorm, the only benefit of which is a boost to Duane Reade's bottom line (they have a much better range of $10 umbrellas than they used to, including lavender and royal blue). Last night it was torrential and I was out for dinner with a friend. I had my laptop tucked inside my lululemon back back and while it didn't remain completely dry, I am so grateful to say it lived and now I'm here to type the tale.
This post is not about weather. But it is about moods.
I was a gregarious, sensitive and emotional kid who became a somewhat moody teen but I had an effective system of controlling my range of emotions. I took things out on my parents.
In between being a very sweet, outwardly pleasant, model exemplar student, one who was on good terms with most people, I would have more than the occasional lapse into bitchiness, anger, foul mouthed antics and hostility with my folks.
I also played a lot of sports which afforded me the opportunity to yell and emote, coach and cry, and take out aggression and anger by kicking balls with great force. The pleasant feelings of success also worked wonders on my mood states, not unlike the endorphin or dopamine spike of a donut without the sugar coma that follows.
In my 20s, after moving out of my house to go away to college and live/work in NYC, the coping technique I most relied on for managing my moods was an eating disorder. The very sad thing about an eating disorder is that as far as moods go, what provides temporary relief from a feeling actually leads to it becoming like the feeling on steroids. At least that's what I observed in myself and many others I knew that were struggling with some kind of anorexic, bulimic or binge eating behaviors. Sad before? Pick up an eating disorder behavior and watch that sadness intensify, morph, deepen, evolve, and expand like a sponge. There is numbness, too.
After getting into recovery, I began to learn, understand and even appreciate that moodiness is a lot more normal than I realized. I was never one to really believe in PMS symptoms, but once I started paying attention to my cycle, I would absolutely see how much more sensitive I'd feel in the week or so before getting period. Then, I started to see how sleep, certain foods, caffeine, alcohol (even small amounts), workload, levels of physical exertion, sex (or lack thereof), meditation and the kind of people I would hang out with were all affecting me big time. Then, I began to view my emotions less as truth and more as a, well, form of creative expression. :)
I was never diagnosed with any kind of bipolar illness but I did deal with major depression as well as anxiety, and at one point took medication. For the last 6 1/2 years, though, I've been without that kind of assistance and sometimes I really wonder if I would benefit from "a little help" again as some suggest. I know it is very helpful and necessary in some instances. Maybe then I wouldn't have to take as many healthy actions to feel good and perhaps I wouldn't be as sensitive. The reason I decline (politely, now that I don't take things out on my parents) is because for the most part I enjoy all the healthy actions I take -- fitness, creativity, health food, sobriety, time in nature, hugs from good friends, attention off appearances and onto inner being, loving kindness, petting strangers' dogs on the street, making jokes -- and they work. I also embrace my sensitivity, which doesn't feel like an intrusion or liability or anymore.
The biggest triggers for me are environments/people that are not fostering my growth, feeding my creativity or respecting who I am and the woman I want to become, financial stress, and romantic relationships. Sometimes when I feel LOW versus low, I recognize it as an old habit of mine to (and I've shared about this before) PUMP UP THE VOLUME of how I'm feeling, as if I need to do that to gain validation or understanding or compassion from someone else, from my loving Source or even from myself. As if intensity will lead to some kind of resolution or relief.
It's not necessary to go into that kind of drama to be heard. As concerns relationships of any sort, if it is, you're not with the right listener.
The warmth of Springtime can't come quickly enough. It beckons me to take long walks without the protection of a heavy coat of armor, to feel free and light and at one with the bountiful trees and flowers. I can imagine myself relaxed in the sunshine, a light wind and soft fabrics against my skin...ahhhhhh, it is all I can do to be patient for the arrival of this relief and beauty.
In the meantime, let the blooming from within continue!
"Sing to me of the daylight
I will sing you a story of moonlight
Will you dance with me
Will you dance with me, baby?
Sunset sound
Sunrise
Sing to me
Lullaby"
-Stevie Nicks
Have a beautiful day!
Love,
LBD
Saturday, April 16, 2011
EI EI, Oh
Yesterday was a BIG day. I had physical therapy at 7:30AM, an important networking phone call with a music writer at 9AM, a full day at work from 9:30AM-5:30PM that involved wrapping up an interview I did with an up-and-coming British singer/songwriter for BBCAmerica.com and going out to lunch with my stellar coworkers, intenSati with Erin Stutland at 6:30PM (class rocked and I played full out!) and then at 8:30PM I went to meet the last actor I was considering for the role of Lewis the Bike Messenger in my play "Suspended".
By the time I met the actor Jake Green in the East Village, with the trendy kids looking so hot and the Manhattan air feeling SO chilly, I thought I was going to collapse.
I don't say this for brownie points or to draw another "How do you do it?!" from my endearing mom -- actually, I'm not sure why I feel inclined to share this information. Does it help you to hear I'm busting ass? Does it help me to share about it? I'm not sure.
I ended up casting Jake and not just because I was beaten down from fatigue. :) He is very funny and gave a great read. Incidentally, he is fresh off the heels of playing a Messenger in "Antony and Cleopatra" at Hartford Stage directed by Tina Landeau. The show and Jake's work received great reviews and, get this, they used bike messengers as inspiration for developing the character. Tina literally had a collage for Jake with photos and images of bike messengers during the rehearsal process. I didn't know this until after I offered Jake the role -- nice synchronicity, I'd say! I like the Cleopatra coincidence, too, since I just blogged "What Would Cleopatra Say?" a few weeks ago. I guess she'd say cast Jake Green.
On the trip home, I felt a little less tired. I was relieved I completed the casting. I ate dinner at 10PM and passed out. Ok, maybe I am looking for something from outside of me. Let me give it to myself right now:
Nice work, Linds. Let it go. You did enough and you are enough! Saturday morning is smiling at you. Breathe.
Yes, it's Saturday morning. Things are a little different now that I am no longer teaching at 9AM. In case you don't know, there was a schedule change and mine was removed. Honestly, I'm still adjusting to this and the feelings I have about it. Ultimately, you become great at something by doing it and now, well, I'm not doing it. Even though I know intellectually that it was nothing personal nor was it a reflection of my teaching, even though spiritually I do have faith that the Universe is always working FOR me and on my behalf, I still feel some disappointment and I miss my students a lot!
I know that anytime something happens over which you had or have no control, you're going to feel some emotions that are uncomfortable. But then you have the choice between wallowing in feeling bad about it or practicing acceptance and moving on. I'm going for the latter but there are moments when my EI (Emotional Intelligence) feels a lot less advanced than my intellect.
E I E I Ohhhhhh, maaaaaaaan, wahhhhhhhhh!!!! becomes more like it, I'd say.
Being human is fun, isn't it? I guess it's about letting certain feelings go so they don't overstay their welcome. Maybe emotions are like your in laws who come to visit. You just know when it's time for them to go home, right?
I don't have in laws, yet, btw. Feelings, yes. In laws, not so much. Winning!!! :)
Have a great day and weekend! xo
LBD
By the time I met the actor Jake Green in the East Village, with the trendy kids looking so hot and the Manhattan air feeling SO chilly, I thought I was going to collapse.
I don't say this for brownie points or to draw another "How do you do it?!" from my endearing mom -- actually, I'm not sure why I feel inclined to share this information. Does it help you to hear I'm busting ass? Does it help me to share about it? I'm not sure.
I ended up casting Jake and not just because I was beaten down from fatigue. :) He is very funny and gave a great read. Incidentally, he is fresh off the heels of playing a Messenger in "Antony and Cleopatra" at Hartford Stage directed by Tina Landeau. The show and Jake's work received great reviews and, get this, they used bike messengers as inspiration for developing the character. Tina literally had a collage for Jake with photos and images of bike messengers during the rehearsal process. I didn't know this until after I offered Jake the role -- nice synchronicity, I'd say! I like the Cleopatra coincidence, too, since I just blogged "What Would Cleopatra Say?" a few weeks ago. I guess she'd say cast Jake Green.
On the trip home, I felt a little less tired. I was relieved I completed the casting. I ate dinner at 10PM and passed out. Ok, maybe I am looking for something from outside of me. Let me give it to myself right now:
Nice work, Linds. Let it go. You did enough and you are enough! Saturday morning is smiling at you. Breathe.
Yes, it's Saturday morning. Things are a little different now that I am no longer teaching at 9AM. In case you don't know, there was a schedule change and mine was removed. Honestly, I'm still adjusting to this and the feelings I have about it. Ultimately, you become great at something by doing it and now, well, I'm not doing it. Even though I know intellectually that it was nothing personal nor was it a reflection of my teaching, even though spiritually I do have faith that the Universe is always working FOR me and on my behalf, I still feel some disappointment and I miss my students a lot!
I know that anytime something happens over which you had or have no control, you're going to feel some emotions that are uncomfortable. But then you have the choice between wallowing in feeling bad about it or practicing acceptance and moving on. I'm going for the latter but there are moments when my EI (Emotional Intelligence) feels a lot less advanced than my intellect.
E I E I Ohhhhhh, maaaaaaaan, wahhhhhhhhh!!!! becomes more like it, I'd say.
Being human is fun, isn't it? I guess it's about letting certain feelings go so they don't overstay their welcome. Maybe emotions are like your in laws who come to visit. You just know when it's time for them to go home, right?
I don't have in laws, yet, btw. Feelings, yes. In laws, not so much. Winning!!! :)
Have a great day and weekend! xo
LBD
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Your Passionate Life
Good morning!
Last night, I held a round of casting for my play "Suspended", which is performing May 11, 14, 15 and 26 at the Manhattan Repertory Theatre. I need to recast it because this is a Non-Union showcase and the actor who originated the role in January, Justin Maruri, is a member of Actors Equity so he can't participate in this upcoming festival. Justin was stellar and it's a little hard to get my head around a replacement, honestly! But, alas, there are so many talented actors in this city so I'm keeping the faith that my bike messenger is out there!!
Casting is really, really fun. I LOVE IT. There's something thrilling to me about being on the other side. I set myself up in a studio at Ripley Grier and welcome the actors who scheduled auditions by appointment. They bring monologues and then if I like what I see, I ask them to stay and read sides. For those of you who aren't familiar with the term, sides are a small excerpt from the script that the actor prepares from and uses in the audition. No need to memorize but it helps if you can get "off book" so we can see your face and eyes.
The 90 minutes of auditioning actors went by in a flash. I was so focused, engaged and present to what I was doing and I felt deep appreciation for every actor I met. They were all so different! I can see each one working and I need to make the strongest choice -- at this point it's not just about a talent or look, but also knowing the person needs to be a very quick study since we go up in less than a month.
Actors are really courageous. How bold is it to walk into a room, start talking to someone that isn't there (in the case of a monologue) and ask someone to come along for the ride and believe?
Know me as I believe I am. As I believe to be.
I could've stayed in the room 8 hours last night. It's a thrill for me to hear the words I wrote come to life. I feel the relief and sensation of the Ah. Students and friends of mine ask me how I discovered my passions and where I find the willingness to keep pursuing them actively? Well, let's start with the first half of that question:
When you're in PASSION, there is no sense of time. You don't look at the clock (unless you're afraid you're going to miss an appointment because you're SO in the zone)!
When you're in PASSION, you would do it for free or pay someone else for the chance to do it.
When you're in PASSION, you feel a sense of wonder, fascination and awe. You may feel unworthy but not out of place.
When you're in PASSION, you often feel a big letdown when you stop the activity and go back to something else which isn't it.
When you're in PASSION, you can let go of the goal. You're not motivated by or servicing the end result. You're so moment-to-moment involved that your end result feels like an accident, even though you created it.
So, that's a start!
As for the willingness to engage your passions and seek to develop, deepen, grow and evolve as a practitioner in whatever it is you love, that's a little tricky sometimes. I love music and I LOVE to sing. You probably know it because I talk about it a lot (that's another sign it's a PASSION!). Something that happens for me is I have this old, limiting belief that comes up when I hear someone with incredible pipes sing. I listen, I nod, then I say, "Now THAT is EXACTLY why I should NOT be singing in public. Clearly, that's her job." Then I need to go through a whole rigamarole to get out of that thought so I don't disengage from my PASSION (another sign is when you are not doing it, you don't feel well!), such as, "Well, not all vocalists have killer vocals. Some have poetry in their lyrics, they're storytellers, look at the voices that are hugely powerful and overtrained but lack soul, I do have a pretty good voice..." and whatever else I can do to stay in the game.
Rodney McKenzie, the amazing teacher I mentioned I just met at Good Commons last weekend, was talking about this with me while listening to the new Adele album (INCREDIBLE). I shared that limiting belief that comes up and he said something to the effect of, "What if she is here to inspire you? What if she is calling you to step it up?! She can't do it alone! If it calls you..." I loved that. :)
So, the key to staying involved with your practice, with your PASSIONS, no matter what level you're at or how easy or challenging you find the process, is to simply believe that you are meant to "manifest yourself in exquisiteness every chance you get" and that there is nothing more exquisite than the unfolding of YOUR PASSIONATE LIFE!!!
Everything about your passionate life is exquisite. Stay involved by refusing to compare yourself to others -- you are on your own path. If you think of PASSION as oxygen, as air, as what you need to be and breathe in order, just to be ALIVE, it feels less negotiable, doesn't it? You can't negotiate whether you're going to breathe each day. You kind of have to do it. Or else you wither and wilt. Suffocate. Die.
I can go on but I will stop now -- ah, what song to give you now?! I did bring up the amazing Adele but let me share with you what she has couched on her website's home page. It's a cover of Rolling in the Deep by the chorus of PS22. Talk about inspiring, inspired PASSION! Check this out:
Love,
Lindsay
Last night, I held a round of casting for my play "Suspended", which is performing May 11, 14, 15 and 26 at the Manhattan Repertory Theatre. I need to recast it because this is a Non-Union showcase and the actor who originated the role in January, Justin Maruri, is a member of Actors Equity so he can't participate in this upcoming festival. Justin was stellar and it's a little hard to get my head around a replacement, honestly! But, alas, there are so many talented actors in this city so I'm keeping the faith that my bike messenger is out there!!
Casting is really, really fun. I LOVE IT. There's something thrilling to me about being on the other side. I set myself up in a studio at Ripley Grier and welcome the actors who scheduled auditions by appointment. They bring monologues and then if I like what I see, I ask them to stay and read sides. For those of you who aren't familiar with the term, sides are a small excerpt from the script that the actor prepares from and uses in the audition. No need to memorize but it helps if you can get "off book" so we can see your face and eyes.
The 90 minutes of auditioning actors went by in a flash. I was so focused, engaged and present to what I was doing and I felt deep appreciation for every actor I met. They were all so different! I can see each one working and I need to make the strongest choice -- at this point it's not just about a talent or look, but also knowing the person needs to be a very quick study since we go up in less than a month.
Actors are really courageous. How bold is it to walk into a room, start talking to someone that isn't there (in the case of a monologue) and ask someone to come along for the ride and believe?
Know me as I believe I am. As I believe to be.
I could've stayed in the room 8 hours last night. It's a thrill for me to hear the words I wrote come to life. I feel the relief and sensation of the Ah. Students and friends of mine ask me how I discovered my passions and where I find the willingness to keep pursuing them actively? Well, let's start with the first half of that question:
When you're in PASSION, there is no sense of time. You don't look at the clock (unless you're afraid you're going to miss an appointment because you're SO in the zone)!
When you're in PASSION, you would do it for free or pay someone else for the chance to do it.
When you're in PASSION, you feel a sense of wonder, fascination and awe. You may feel unworthy but not out of place.
When you're in PASSION, you often feel a big letdown when you stop the activity and go back to something else which isn't it.
When you're in PASSION, you can let go of the goal. You're not motivated by or servicing the end result. You're so moment-to-moment involved that your end result feels like an accident, even though you created it.
So, that's a start!
As for the willingness to engage your passions and seek to develop, deepen, grow and evolve as a practitioner in whatever it is you love, that's a little tricky sometimes. I love music and I LOVE to sing. You probably know it because I talk about it a lot (that's another sign it's a PASSION!). Something that happens for me is I have this old, limiting belief that comes up when I hear someone with incredible pipes sing. I listen, I nod, then I say, "Now THAT is EXACTLY why I should NOT be singing in public. Clearly, that's her job." Then I need to go through a whole rigamarole to get out of that thought so I don't disengage from my PASSION (another sign is when you are not doing it, you don't feel well!), such as, "Well, not all vocalists have killer vocals. Some have poetry in their lyrics, they're storytellers, look at the voices that are hugely powerful and overtrained but lack soul, I do have a pretty good voice..." and whatever else I can do to stay in the game.
Rodney McKenzie, the amazing teacher I mentioned I just met at Good Commons last weekend, was talking about this with me while listening to the new Adele album (INCREDIBLE). I shared that limiting belief that comes up and he said something to the effect of, "What if she is here to inspire you? What if she is calling you to step it up?! She can't do it alone! If it calls you..." I loved that. :)
So, the key to staying involved with your practice, with your PASSIONS, no matter what level you're at or how easy or challenging you find the process, is to simply believe that you are meant to "manifest yourself in exquisiteness every chance you get" and that there is nothing more exquisite than the unfolding of YOUR PASSIONATE LIFE!!!
Everything about your passionate life is exquisite. Stay involved by refusing to compare yourself to others -- you are on your own path. If you think of PASSION as oxygen, as air, as what you need to be and breathe in order, just to be ALIVE, it feels less negotiable, doesn't it? You can't negotiate whether you're going to breathe each day. You kind of have to do it. Or else you wither and wilt. Suffocate. Die.
I can go on but I will stop now -- ah, what song to give you now?! I did bring up the amazing Adele but let me share with you what she has couched on her website's home page. It's a cover of Rolling in the Deep by the chorus of PS22. Talk about inspiring, inspired PASSION! Check this out:
Love,
Lindsay
Monday, April 11, 2011
Wherever We Go, Here We Are
Good morning!
Many of you know I just came back from a retreat in the mountains of Vermont at a very special place called Good Commons. I was one of three facilitators teaching classes and workshops -- mine was the mind/body fitness component and I taught two intenSati workouts. The other two teachers were Rodney McKenzie and Margaret Nichols. Follow the links behind their names to learn about their brilliance -- I do mean brilliance -- and the deep work they're doing in the areas of personal transformation, healing and spirituality.
Whenever I take time for a getaway outside of Manhattan, which to date hasn't been very often but that is definitely changing, my perspective of myself and my life undergoes a shift. Whether it's a trip out east to my uncle's home on Shelter Island or a train ride up to the Dia Art Museum in Beacon, what I usually feel is intense relief and an ability to breathe much more deeply and with greater ease. Once I get into a natural setting, Healing takes over, as each cell in my body comes to attention and back to full life. As I stop taxing my system with polluted air, very loud noises, polluted thoughts, very loud voices, crowds, bread-and-butter busy work, food that's not local or lovingly prepared, and a disconnection from mother nature, I simply start to feel better than I usually feel.
"Stress is a part of life" is what so many of us tell ourselves. As I see the symptoms of stress and imbalance -- inconsistent sleep, indigestion, skin and hair changes, the desire to drink caffeine to stay energized, mood swings, and emotional eating, to name a few -- in myself and others, I realize how important it is for me to create a life for myself that has a lot of freedom, creativity and peace. I am undergoing that creation process now. It is an inside job with an outside support system. I realize now how much I value learning and teaching my students the skills, practices, tools and habits that bring about wellness.
The weekend at Good Commons was powerful and I don't have too much to say at the moment. I can only describe how I feel, which is at once tired, very peaceful and resistant to returning to my "normal" life here in NYC. (It's a good thing I took two more vacation days from work so I have some time for the re-entry process!) All I really want to do is shower, put on comfy clothing, walk around the city and perhaps see some of the people I met and worked with this weekend to continue the conversations we started. Why?
I think because with the support and love of Good Commons, Rodney and Margaret, all the attendees and the power of Source which was present throughout our days and nights, I was able to LET GO of that which keeps me from being who I really am.
I was able to surrender deeply to the truth:
I am free and I AM FREEDOM
I am love and I AM LOVING
I am wise and I AM WISDOM
I am clear and I AM CLEAR VISION
I am creative and I AM CREATIVITY
I am ME.
These truths about who we are (yes, I am shifting tense here because it is also who you are) can get buried, suppressed, denied, starved, stuffed, polluted, and forgotten in "normal life" thanks to the mind and certain external circumstances and people who do not reinforce or see Us. Or, perhaps they feel more like exceptions to the rule. Maybe we can think of stress as a gift because when the mind gets so overactive to the point where finally it just says "That's it! I quit!!!" then the heart can be heard.
For me, the challenge is to know and trust that I don't have to be with a group of seekers in the mountains of Vermont to remember who I am and to be who I've become. Rather, I can allow myself to be here now in the truth of what I've been discovering for years. "Wherever you go, there you are!" used to be a warning slogan for me, like I better be real careful not to seek a geographic cure to deal with (or, more accurately, escape) myself and my life. Well, now I embrace as a positive reminder instead that wherever I go, here I am.
The authentic self is portable. You are always who you are -- nothing, no thing, nobody and no body can take that away from you.
The people I met over the weekend overcame tremendous adversity in their lives. In fact, I think that is something that united the group that found this particular Recharge Retreat. We've all been through some big challenges and are now approaching life again with wide eyes, happy feet, a willingness to clear our channels and let go of remnants from our past, as well as an openness and ability to love fully and live deeply. I feel so blessed and privileged to have just spent time in such close quarters with people who don't play the victim.
People who no longer make their adversity into their adversary, who choose to grow from the experience and deepen their connection to Source energy or anything bigger (it could be a cause, practice or group) than themselves, make me giddy. They humble me. They teach me. If you were with me this weekend and are reading this now, I THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.
A few songs provided the soundtrack to our weekend and I'll share one with you. As I close my eyes here and take a breath, as Rodney always reminded us with a small nod and beaming smile, I can see, hear and feel us all jumping around together, dancing, laughing and singing along to the sweet sound of Three Dog Night's JOY TO THE WORLD. I send that energy out to you now and wish you a joyful day! xo
~LBD
Many of you know I just came back from a retreat in the mountains of Vermont at a very special place called Good Commons. I was one of three facilitators teaching classes and workshops -- mine was the mind/body fitness component and I taught two intenSati workouts. The other two teachers were Rodney McKenzie and Margaret Nichols. Follow the links behind their names to learn about their brilliance -- I do mean brilliance -- and the deep work they're doing in the areas of personal transformation, healing and spirituality.
Whenever I take time for a getaway outside of Manhattan, which to date hasn't been very often but that is definitely changing, my perspective of myself and my life undergoes a shift. Whether it's a trip out east to my uncle's home on Shelter Island or a train ride up to the Dia Art Museum in Beacon, what I usually feel is intense relief and an ability to breathe much more deeply and with greater ease. Once I get into a natural setting, Healing takes over, as each cell in my body comes to attention and back to full life. As I stop taxing my system with polluted air, very loud noises, polluted thoughts, very loud voices, crowds, bread-and-butter busy work, food that's not local or lovingly prepared, and a disconnection from mother nature, I simply start to feel better than I usually feel.
"Stress is a part of life" is what so many of us tell ourselves. As I see the symptoms of stress and imbalance -- inconsistent sleep, indigestion, skin and hair changes, the desire to drink caffeine to stay energized, mood swings, and emotional eating, to name a few -- in myself and others, I realize how important it is for me to create a life for myself that has a lot of freedom, creativity and peace. I am undergoing that creation process now. It is an inside job with an outside support system. I realize now how much I value learning and teaching my students the skills, practices, tools and habits that bring about wellness.
The weekend at Good Commons was powerful and I don't have too much to say at the moment. I can only describe how I feel, which is at once tired, very peaceful and resistant to returning to my "normal" life here in NYC. (It's a good thing I took two more vacation days from work so I have some time for the re-entry process!) All I really want to do is shower, put on comfy clothing, walk around the city and perhaps see some of the people I met and worked with this weekend to continue the conversations we started. Why?
I think because with the support and love of Good Commons, Rodney and Margaret, all the attendees and the power of Source which was present throughout our days and nights, I was able to LET GO of that which keeps me from being who I really am.
I was able to surrender deeply to the truth:
I am free and I AM FREEDOM
I am love and I AM LOVING
I am wise and I AM WISDOM
I am clear and I AM CLEAR VISION
I am creative and I AM CREATIVITY
I am ME.
These truths about who we are (yes, I am shifting tense here because it is also who you are) can get buried, suppressed, denied, starved, stuffed, polluted, and forgotten in "normal life" thanks to the mind and certain external circumstances and people who do not reinforce or see Us. Or, perhaps they feel more like exceptions to the rule. Maybe we can think of stress as a gift because when the mind gets so overactive to the point where finally it just says "That's it! I quit!!!" then the heart can be heard.
For me, the challenge is to know and trust that I don't have to be with a group of seekers in the mountains of Vermont to remember who I am and to be who I've become. Rather, I can allow myself to be here now in the truth of what I've been discovering for years. "Wherever you go, there you are!" used to be a warning slogan for me, like I better be real careful not to seek a geographic cure to deal with (or, more accurately, escape) myself and my life. Well, now I embrace as a positive reminder instead that wherever I go, here I am.
The authentic self is portable. You are always who you are -- nothing, no thing, nobody and no body can take that away from you.
The people I met over the weekend overcame tremendous adversity in their lives. In fact, I think that is something that united the group that found this particular Recharge Retreat. We've all been through some big challenges and are now approaching life again with wide eyes, happy feet, a willingness to clear our channels and let go of remnants from our past, as well as an openness and ability to love fully and live deeply. I feel so blessed and privileged to have just spent time in such close quarters with people who don't play the victim.
People who no longer make their adversity into their adversary, who choose to grow from the experience and deepen their connection to Source energy or anything bigger (it could be a cause, practice or group) than themselves, make me giddy. They humble me. They teach me. If you were with me this weekend and are reading this now, I THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.
A few songs provided the soundtrack to our weekend and I'll share one with you. As I close my eyes here and take a breath, as Rodney always reminded us with a small nod and beaming smile, I can see, hear and feel us all jumping around together, dancing, laughing and singing along to the sweet sound of Three Dog Night's JOY TO THE WORLD. I send that energy out to you now and wish you a joyful day! xo
~LBD
Sunday, April 10, 2011
I Am Free
I am going through a renaming
a rediscovering
and, of course
a remembering
I am going through a passage
of possibilities
as distractions like fear
lessen for sure
my mountains to climb crumble
my prowess to prove dissolves
as I start to care about
so
much
less
and
so
much
more
of my meaningful
nature
being
I will never arrive
there's nobody waiting
to celebrate all I consumed
to award me for all I impressed
ideals lead to suffering
perfection snares creativity
until it must chew off a limb to escape the trap
compromised
and
so
much
more
scaling back never felt so inviting
doing less never felt so promising
saying no to subtle illusions
and riding waves
to my own conclusions
sweeping aside the dust on my path
for Clear Vision to emerge
I am free
I am creativity
I am bountiful
I am
me.
a rediscovering
and, of course
a remembering
I am going through a passage
of possibilities
as distractions like fear
lessen for sure
my mountains to climb crumble
my prowess to prove dissolves
as I start to care about
so
much
less
and
so
much
more
of my meaningful
nature
being
I will never arrive
there's nobody waiting
to celebrate all I consumed
to award me for all I impressed
ideals lead to suffering
perfection snares creativity
until it must chew off a limb to escape the trap
compromised
and
so
much
more
scaling back never felt so inviting
doing less never felt so promising
saying no to subtle illusions
and riding waves
to my own conclusions
sweeping aside the dust on my path
for Clear Vision to emerge
I am free
I am creativity
I am bountiful
I am
me.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The 40 Year Old Marriage
Good morning!
Thank you for reading, commenting on and sharing my last post, "What Would Cleopatra Say?" with your friends, which I'm happy to say now has close to 800 page views through various outlets. The biggest turnout so far has been on Blogher.com, a publishing network for women bloggers with a collective 26 million total readers. Amazing!!
I'm also happy to share that since posting that piece, this Cleopatra hasn't checked his Facebook page. Not once. I hit on something meaningful with that metaphor for myself and others. One of my friends made Cleopatra the screen saver on her phone. As my online habits changed, my offline habits did as well. I feel like I've emptied most of my mental sock drawer.
I was at my parents' 40th Wedding Anniversary dinner last night at Union Square Cafe with my brother and extended family. I swear that all I kept thinking is how blessed I am. I arrived about half an hour early and parked myself at the bar with my Harold Pinter plays collection in one hand and a seltzer w/ cranberry in the other. When my parents arrived, I was just struck by how attractive they look. I mean, really, really beautiful but it's not just that they're physically attractive and very well put together, which they are, it's that they have something radiating from within that is obvious -- it's LOVE and gratitude.
The 40 Year Old Marriage is not the most common occurrence in the US, at least statistically speaking, where half of all marriages end in divorce. Thinking about in tact marriages, it's always questionable whether the couple is happy or faithful. I've always wondered why certain couples stay together in the absence of a working, healthy and functional relationship. To me the most important thing is deep respect and reverence for one another. At times I felt concern about the state of play between my parents but now their bond seems stronger than ever. They seem happily married.
My parents are very different people in many ways. Mom is very careful and measured while dad's a bit more daring. Mom's happiness is found curled up with her knitting or a great novel, while dad's is taking names on the tennis court (usually opponents 15 years his junior, he's very good), watching sports, or reading all the papers to catch up on politics and world affairs. My mom was born to shop. She can spend hours going through stores, making decisions, decorating the house, upgrading her wardrobe...she loooooooves fashion. My father is more inclined to make a beeline for the simplest, stylish black or navy blue blazer, crisp white shirt (last night he worked the simple yet elegant navy blue vertical stripes to very positive effect) and a great pair of loafers. Simple. My mother likes to socialize a lot while I'd say my father is very content with spending time on his own.
Where they are very similar is in their senses of humor. They are both incredibly funny people who happen to appreciate and laugh at a lot of the same things, including themselves and yes, each other. They are both filled with a deep, huge, major and massive love for me and my brother. It's hard to describe.
I've learned from their marriage about the value of persistence in making things better over time, becoming even more appreciative of life's finer things together, and worrying little about whether the relationship is ideal to anybody other than themselves. They have high standards. I know both take a lot of pride in their marriage.
My parents, especially my mom, kept marveling last night at the number. 40 years. 40 years! Omg, has it really been that long? Does that make me __ years old!? My mother has us rolling when she said, I really don't see us like those couples on the end of "When Harry Met Sally" and by that she meant old. She doesn't see herself or my father as old. They never did and I don't think they ever will. They focus on the youth and vitality in themselves and each other. It shows! They each seem 15 years younger than their age.
Since you brought it up, mom, here are the various segments from WHMS in a single montage. Enjoy! :) While you may not seem near these folks in age, I think you've caught up to them in spirit. Ah, you crazy kids...
M: "I rode up 9 extra floors to keep talking to her."
W: "9 extra floors."
Now that's love.
Have a beautiful day!!
LBD
Thank you for reading, commenting on and sharing my last post, "What Would Cleopatra Say?" with your friends, which I'm happy to say now has close to 800 page views through various outlets. The biggest turnout so far has been on Blogher.com, a publishing network for women bloggers with a collective 26 million total readers. Amazing!!
I'm also happy to share that since posting that piece, this Cleopatra hasn't checked his Facebook page. Not once. I hit on something meaningful with that metaphor for myself and others. One of my friends made Cleopatra the screen saver on her phone. As my online habits changed, my offline habits did as well. I feel like I've emptied most of my mental sock drawer.
I was at my parents' 40th Wedding Anniversary dinner last night at Union Square Cafe with my brother and extended family. I swear that all I kept thinking is how blessed I am. I arrived about half an hour early and parked myself at the bar with my Harold Pinter plays collection in one hand and a seltzer w/ cranberry in the other. When my parents arrived, I was just struck by how attractive they look. I mean, really, really beautiful but it's not just that they're physically attractive and very well put together, which they are, it's that they have something radiating from within that is obvious -- it's LOVE and gratitude.
The 40 Year Old Marriage is not the most common occurrence in the US, at least statistically speaking, where half of all marriages end in divorce. Thinking about in tact marriages, it's always questionable whether the couple is happy or faithful. I've always wondered why certain couples stay together in the absence of a working, healthy and functional relationship. To me the most important thing is deep respect and reverence for one another. At times I felt concern about the state of play between my parents but now their bond seems stronger than ever. They seem happily married.
My parents are very different people in many ways. Mom is very careful and measured while dad's a bit more daring. Mom's happiness is found curled up with her knitting or a great novel, while dad's is taking names on the tennis court (usually opponents 15 years his junior, he's very good), watching sports, or reading all the papers to catch up on politics and world affairs. My mom was born to shop. She can spend hours going through stores, making decisions, decorating the house, upgrading her wardrobe...she loooooooves fashion. My father is more inclined to make a beeline for the simplest, stylish black or navy blue blazer, crisp white shirt (last night he worked the simple yet elegant navy blue vertical stripes to very positive effect) and a great pair of loafers. Simple. My mother likes to socialize a lot while I'd say my father is very content with spending time on his own.
Where they are very similar is in their senses of humor. They are both incredibly funny people who happen to appreciate and laugh at a lot of the same things, including themselves and yes, each other. They are both filled with a deep, huge, major and massive love for me and my brother. It's hard to describe.
I've learned from their marriage about the value of persistence in making things better over time, becoming even more appreciative of life's finer things together, and worrying little about whether the relationship is ideal to anybody other than themselves. They have high standards. I know both take a lot of pride in their marriage.
My parents, especially my mom, kept marveling last night at the number. 40 years. 40 years! Omg, has it really been that long? Does that make me __ years old!? My mother has us rolling when she said, I really don't see us like those couples on the end of "When Harry Met Sally" and by that she meant old. She doesn't see herself or my father as old. They never did and I don't think they ever will. They focus on the youth and vitality in themselves and each other. It shows! They each seem 15 years younger than their age.
Since you brought it up, mom, here are the various segments from WHMS in a single montage. Enjoy! :) While you may not seem near these folks in age, I think you've caught up to them in spirit. Ah, you crazy kids...
M: "I rode up 9 extra floors to keep talking to her."
W: "9 extra floors."
Now that's love.
Have a beautiful day!!
LBD
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