Phenomenal Woman. That's You.

Good morning,

Each day is a new beginning. An opportunity to regroup. Start over. Take a step in a new and different direction.

The only thing that really keeps us from knowing what we want is denying the impulses which clearly instruct. So, stay as connected to your gut intuition as possible. Indecision, in some instances, is just a defense mechanism.

I spent two years seeing a man who did not want the same things as me. We didn't share the same long term goals. We didn't even share more than a few same short term ones, actually. The things we did have in common and want were only sustaining me for a little while at a time, so I was constantly left wanting and needing more. Yet, rather than allow myself to consistently live in the truth of how I felt, I often found myself saying "I don't know. Maybe I do want this right now and I don't need more. That other stuff I can have later." I went back and forth so many times, like a candle in the wind (thanks, Elton).

The knowing and the doing don't arrive at the same time. For a while, I started to know the truth. I knew I needed more. That this wasn't working. Did I change my behavior? Only a little at a time.

The biggest fear I had was to be alone and feel a painful, unfulfilled longing to find real love. I never thought I would be the kind of person who would rather be in something than nothing. Or, to be someone who would stubbornly try to fix, mold and change the something into the thing, the one, I am seeking. As if a person is an art project. Or a relationship a construction site.

I like that the world gives us circumstances and events that prompt us to move more confidently in the direction of our dreams. Last Saturday, following my Central Park intenSati class, a woman who was joining us for the potluck picnic portion of the morning showed up with the most precious bundle of 5 mos old joy I think I've ever seen. Can't remember the last time I've seen, held, cooed over, laughed and cuddled with such a cute baby!! As I held her in my 34 year old arms, I really felt myself come alive inside in a very specific way that I don't usually feel. Definitely different than other kinds of joy.

Do you have a vision of love (thanks, Mariah)? I do. I think underneath it all I've kept the faith even though at times I've felt like I lost it, that beautiful vision. It takes a certain strength to go with the ups and downs of being single. Meeting people who seem promising but don't come through as you want, finding ones who do but lack certain key qualities you can't live without, embracing more alone time than you thought you could stand (and sometimes actually liking it), discovering what really makes you tick and come alive in love, intimacy and the like. Feeling the fear of time moving too quickly and accepting powerlessness over the passage. Or, becoming so grateful for how life is going that the fear's being snuffed out. It definitely takes a certain strength to do this all gracefully and without hardening.

I smile at my experiences now. I greet them, all my memories, the people I've known and the places I've been in the name of love (thanks, Bono). I think I've always attracted into my life what I was ready for and what I felt I could handle. There have been so many surprises.

Ending with a poem seems a little cliche at this moment but I love this one by Maya Angelou so much and want to share it with all the phenomenal women out there in the world. Listen to her reciting it here and enjoy this gorgeous poem in its entirety:

PHENOMENAL WOMAN
By: Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Peace, xo

What Motivates You?

Good morning! I just got back from such a great spin class at Equinox in Woodbury. At 8AM, on a Sunday, almost all the bikes were taken. My mind was drifting a little at first and so was my gaze over into the cardio room, which was also PACKED. At 8AM. On a Sunday!

I had to laugh when the spin teacher pushed us to work harder so we can enjoy a margarita or two on the beach later in the day. As soon as he said that, the entire class took it up like 5 notches. :) For him and those like-minded beach and drink dwellers (LI has great beaches, if you've never been. Not just the Hamptons, either. Bayville. Long Beach. Nice!), the more calories you burn, the more you can enjoy your indulgences. No guilt. No margarita belly.

For me this morning, the motivation was a little different. I wanted to clear my head. I wanted a great sweat. I definitely wanted to burn some calories and feel the endorphins racing through my body. Strengthening my calves, quads and hamstrings, as well as my core and lower back, was on my mind as well. Then there's a situation I'm contemplating that involves making a decision. I really wanted to get out of my head and into my body more. The spin class was the perfect fix. All of that played into my motivation.

The rest of today, on this lazy, hazy summer Sunday in August, all I wanna do is be, well, lazy and hazy. I'd love to do a whole lotta nothing. Just sit and drink iced tea, read a novel, perhaps chat on the phone with a friend or two. That's not on the agenda, though, since I have about 4 or 5 work and home related things to do that really need to get done today.

The only thing that will motivate me is the desired result. I want the results of learning my lines for a show. I want to clean out the garage and organize the clothes that came from my last apartment back to LI with me before I move into my new one next month. I want those results, even as I feel the resistance to the heavy lifting.

So, maybe if you're feeling a little summer kick back lack of motivation today but you've got some stuff that you'll feel much better getting done, you can figure out what motivates you. Whether it's putting your resume together as STEP 1 of your job search, going to the supermarket and buying all those healthy vegetables, protein and fruits you need for the week (oops, have to add that to my to do list!), working out for the first time in a week, writing 5 pages of that novel you know is in you, or finally having that conversation with a significant other you've been avoiding so it stops weighing on both of you and the air is clear, maybe you can just connect to what you want to get out of the experience, the result you want, and START.

One more thing. If the project is large, just break it down into chunks. Pages instead of a whole script. A bag of clothing to go through one at a time. A single idea you want to get across or that one character you are ready to create. Think of each project as a serving, a portion, a little 100 calorie snack packs that is portioned out just for you (talk about a marketing concept). The name of the game is to avoid feeling overwhelmed, since that is what so often contributes to procrastination.

That's all. Just keep it simple.

Simplicity is key
to your happy destiny.

Best,
Lindsay

Life as a Tuscan Meal

Good morning! It's been over a month since my last post. I hope you are well and enjoying your summer! I miss blogging but definitely needed this break. I've been busy with an incredible, life changing trip to Italy, a move from NYC back to Long Island and ongoing apartment search, a triple header writing/acting/directing gig for a staged reading with Ticket 2 Eternity productions, a travel article for the BBC, my fitness classes, physical therapy and my full time job.

Can we say full plate? In Italian that's piastra completa!! My life is abundant in a way that feels beyond my wildest dreams. For the most part, I am not even stressing over this full plate. I am rejoicing in it! My relationships with friends, family, coworkers, students, teachers and my hometown of NYC have been deepening over time and noticeably more so since my trip. A little distance created a lot of appreciation, I guess. I feel such love and gratitude as well as enormous affirmation that the work I've been doing for years is really paying off.

I am writing this post from my parents' living room. It's pouring rain on Long Island today and the perfect, cozy Sunday morning for a short Lindspiration. So, building on this idea of a full plate, I invite you to think about what is on your plate right now. What is nourishing you? What junk food can be pushed aside and removed? Any delicious special treats on your plate that you are deeply appreciating?

I can't resist -- OK, in Tuscany, I had these grilled vegetables with ricotta and fresh honey in San Gimignano that were the most deliciously prepared and tasting foods I've ever had in my life. There was fish, too. This INCREDIBLE white fish, lightly browned, that went with the grilled vegetables and sat on top of this precious pomodoro sauce made with dancing tomatoes. Yes, I said dancing. All enclosed by a circle of balsamic glaze. The restaurant was inside the Hotel Bel Soggiorno. Then, in Siena, at the Kopa Kabana (funny name, I know) Gelateria I had fig ricotta gelato made with the freshest ingredients that I still think about. BEYOND AMAZING! Photos included (but slightly irritatingly placed up top - I really need to change over to Word Press). :)

My dear friend and coach/yoga teacher/intenSati leader/author, Emiliya Zhivotovskaya, founder of Flourish Inc., wrote an article about her recovery from an eating disorder. Something that really helped her is the practice of savoring. That is, slowly, patiently, and with total PRESENCE appreciating food, which is, of course, a way to appreciate every moment. Read about her process here.

There are so many ways to effectively slow down without compromising your pace and positive momentum behind your action steps. When you delight in the present moment and savor your life, the only way you can feel is full.

Feel free to share with me what is on your plate that you love and what is on your plate that you're ready to toss aside. Why not go for what delights, excites, nourishes, and pleases you, your life as a real Tuscan meal?

With love,
Lindsay