Good morning! I am loving this SALON.com interview with neuroscientist and author, Richard Davidson, about the evolutionary benefit and value of our emotions.
I closed an intenSati class the other day with a short dance routine to Whitney Houston's So Emotional and "The emotional and resilient warrior in me bows to the emotional and resilient warrior in you, Namaste..." so this is very time appropriate. That, plus my being an emotional person whose feelings tend to come with the variety and nuances of a box of Crayolas.
So happy Crayola crayons still exist.
Davidson developed an Emotional Style theory consisting of the following ideas:
1. Resilience -- how quickly or slowly you recover from adversity.
2. Outlook -- the duration that a person’s positive emotion persists.
3. Context -- the extent to which we modulate our emotional responses in a context-appropriate way.
4. Social Intuition -- the sensitivity to social cues, the extent to which a person is sensitive to facial expressions or vocal expressions.
5. Self Awareness -- the extent to which a person is aware of signals within their own body, which are important to emotion.
6. Attention -- how focused or scattered you are. Attention isn’t often thought of as part of emotional style, yet our work indicates that it significantly contributes to a person’s emotional makeup. Is your attention easily pulled by stimuli in the environment or are you able to more skillfully focus your attention on what it is you wish to attend to.
Source: http://www.salon.com/2012/02/25/the_scientific_argument_for_being_emotional/?source=newsletter
With respect to 5 and 6, I am very Self Aware that my Attention has been OFF what I need to be working on (a play I'm in which opens March 7th) and ON what is not really a priority (everything else). For more about Resistance and the Ego, I strongly suggest reading THE WAR OF ART, which is currently in my bathroom but you can find here on Amazon.
The more conversations we have which address the way people emote and then react, understand, avoid, or learn from their emotions, the better. We've come to understand that people learn differently and as such, there are now teaching tools and styles to accommodate almost everybody. I think if we understand emotions a little bit differently and give people a clearer, broader language to discuss and express how they feel, it will be easier to communicate and perhaps easier to feel our feelings fully without fear. Thoughts?
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
You Need Space
"The writer, I thought, once his experience is over, must lie back and let his mind celebrate its nuptials in darkness. He must not look or question what is being done. Rather, he must pluck the petals from a rose or watch the swans float calmly down the river." Virginia Woolf (from A Room of One's Own)
Losing the self consciousness attached to creativity can be one of the hardest things to do. It runs deep, approval being that false friend which takes a hold of the creative spirit and puts it in a cage. When you give or offer something to the world -- a story, a poem, a song, a character -- you must take space in the aftermath.
Space to just be and breathe.
Same goes for intimacy. When you share yourself, your vulnerabilities, the quirks and foibles that only certain people can love, accept and understand, when it's over, you need space to.....
pluck the petals
from a rose
or
watch the swans
float calmly
down the river
I am in deep gratitude for the room of my own and my own space, even as I remain mindful of the need to fill it. It is possible to only observe but not give into a craving.
Solitude is your place to breathe, rejuvenate, and feel.
Write, create, rest and incubate.
I've heard it said the space between notes make the melody.
Is it the space between people that makes the artist?
Losing the self consciousness attached to creativity can be one of the hardest things to do. It runs deep, approval being that false friend which takes a hold of the creative spirit and puts it in a cage. When you give or offer something to the world -- a story, a poem, a song, a character -- you must take space in the aftermath.
Space to just be and breathe.
Same goes for intimacy. When you share yourself, your vulnerabilities, the quirks and foibles that only certain people can love, accept and understand, when it's over, you need space to.....
pluck the petals
from a rose
or
watch the swans
float calmly
down the river
I am in deep gratitude for the room of my own and my own space, even as I remain mindful of the need to fill it. It is possible to only observe but not give into a craving.
Solitude is your place to breathe, rejuvenate, and feel.
Write, create, rest and incubate.
I've heard it said the space between notes make the melody.
Is it the space between people that makes the artist?
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
A Few Good Tweaks
When Steve Jobs passed away a few months ago, people payed attention to his strategies and approaches to business that really worked. One of these traits was highlighted in a NEW YORKER article called The Tweaker: The Real Genius of Steve Jobs and while the origin of the phrase "tweakers" dates back to England and the start of the Industrial Revolution, the focus of this NYer piece is on Jobs. A little tweak here to a design, a little tweak there to his people management philosophy and the result was APPLE becoming one of the most successful and innovative companies on the planet.
When you're not motivated, when you're having slips, when you're practicing behaviors that bring about consequences you do NOT want, or when you've just about given up on yourself and your dreams, it's tempting to think you need a major, mega overhaul. And, well, maybe you do. I've had times in my life where I made radical changes. When I was 163 pounds (I'm 5'3") in my senior year of college and depressed to the point of wanting to give up entirely on life (good times, good times) through the help of a support program I gave up all sugar, flour and wheat for a year and a half. I lost a ton of weight, had the clarity of mind to power through a 5th year of school, graduate with a great GPA and activate a job search which led to a pretty cool position at New York Magazine.
The radical change led to a major loss of balance, though, not to mention weight. I dropped to about 108 pounds, stopped menstruating, and lived in fear of putting an ounce of ANYTHING into my mouth. I remember going out to dinner with my parents at Cafe Baci on Long Island and crying in the car ride home because I thought my chicken was too oily.
So, rather than go for something so dramatic, sometimes you're in the zone, orbit, area, or arena of what works and you just need a little tweaking. Yet, because you're feeling so shitty from the consequences to your behaviors your EMOTION (frustration, regret, shame, anger) is fueling thoughts like these:
I have to make big changes here! Something, everything has gotta change! I'll quit my job, go to an ashram for a month, stop eating gluten, move to a much warmer climate...!
Hey, that doesn't sound so bad, actually.
:)
For the purpose of THIS post, I am not talking about those kind of radical changes. I am speaking to the value of a GOOD TWEAK here or there will reset the course of your adventure entirely for the better!!
Still not sure what I mean? Well, that's probably bc I haven't given an example yet. That's OK. It's coming. Wait for it.....
A FEW GOOD TWEAKS TO HELP YOU MOTIVATE
1. Make a small but significant dietary change. I recently (3 weeks or so, maybe 4?) stopped drinking diet coke and stopped chewing gum. In this time I haven't been perfect (1/2 a can of diet soda, Jeremy my friend was a witness) but if I don't tell you, this little TWEAK has made a huge difference. I've blogged about it before. My digestive track thanks me every day. So, for you it could be gum, it could be bread, it could be chicken, it could be Mentos, I don't know. Just make one change that UPS your energy and makes you feel GOOD.
2. Reframe your "bad" habit into something a little more encouraging. Some may disagree here but I tend to side with those who think tenderness and compassion bring about change. So, maybe you're consistently doing a habit that is hurting you. At least you have COMMITMENT. You are DEVOTED! That's a GREAT thing. Maybe you're even so familiar with this habit that you can help another avoid it and that's a SERVICE you're uniquely qualified to service. Again, not for everybody, but I like to find the POSITIVE as part of the approach to change.
3. Explore another side of something you know well. People tend to get comfortable and cozy not only in things that aren't working but in things which are working well. It could be to hold onto a feeling of safety or even success. You may think you know something well but have you really explored ALL FACETS of this thing? Probably not. If there is more to glean from something you already think you know so well, start exploring.
4. Give yourself a little dose of nature. I woke up today feeling like if I don't get into a park soon, I may turn into a smokestack. And I don't smoke. I do, however, live in downtown Manhattan and am surrounded many, many buildings. I used to live uptown and went to Central Park at least one morning a week. I swear my first thought is I need a week out of the city, which certainly would be nice and is coming up for me in March (when I go to SXSW, yee haw!) but in the meantime, I can commit to one park outing a week. It's going to happen this Saturday after I teach intenSati, if you want to join me for a meditation. I can't overstate enough how important it is to take in some FRESH AIR and enjoy a few beautiful TREES, SUNSHINE and QUIET. Just a little will do you so good.
5. Join a new team that inspires and believes in you. You didn't think I was going to get through this entire post without mentioning Jeremy Lin again, did you? I am, officially, obsessed with interviewing him for this blog. You just wait. :) SO, in case you did not know, JLin was assigned to the D League and waived by the Golden State Warriors and Houston Rockets before being signed by the Knicks. We all know what that lead to...BOO YAH! Now I know he didn't have much of a say in that whole process but you can learn from it, right? He just needed to land with the right group of guys, the right group of coaches and the right group of NY KNICKS fans to experience a monumental jump in his performance and success. Maybe one of your tweaks is to do something similar.
Have a great day and if any of this is working for you, please comment, share it with someone, #inspireitforward or email me at lindspiration@gmail.com to let me know!
Best,
Lindsay
When you're not motivated, when you're having slips, when you're practicing behaviors that bring about consequences you do NOT want, or when you've just about given up on yourself and your dreams, it's tempting to think you need a major, mega overhaul. And, well, maybe you do. I've had times in my life where I made radical changes. When I was 163 pounds (I'm 5'3") in my senior year of college and depressed to the point of wanting to give up entirely on life (good times, good times) through the help of a support program I gave up all sugar, flour and wheat for a year and a half. I lost a ton of weight, had the clarity of mind to power through a 5th year of school, graduate with a great GPA and activate a job search which led to a pretty cool position at New York Magazine.
The radical change led to a major loss of balance, though, not to mention weight. I dropped to about 108 pounds, stopped menstruating, and lived in fear of putting an ounce of ANYTHING into my mouth. I remember going out to dinner with my parents at Cafe Baci on Long Island and crying in the car ride home because I thought my chicken was too oily.
So, rather than go for something so dramatic, sometimes you're in the zone, orbit, area, or arena of what works and you just need a little tweaking. Yet, because you're feeling so shitty from the consequences to your behaviors your EMOTION (frustration, regret, shame, anger) is fueling thoughts like these:
I have to make big changes here! Something, everything has gotta change! I'll quit my job, go to an ashram for a month, stop eating gluten, move to a much warmer climate...!
Hey, that doesn't sound so bad, actually.
:)
For the purpose of THIS post, I am not talking about those kind of radical changes. I am speaking to the value of a GOOD TWEAK here or there will reset the course of your adventure entirely for the better!!
Still not sure what I mean? Well, that's probably bc I haven't given an example yet. That's OK. It's coming. Wait for it.....
A FEW GOOD TWEAKS TO HELP YOU MOTIVATE
1. Make a small but significant dietary change. I recently (3 weeks or so, maybe 4?) stopped drinking diet coke and stopped chewing gum. In this time I haven't been perfect (1/2 a can of diet soda, Jeremy my friend was a witness) but if I don't tell you, this little TWEAK has made a huge difference. I've blogged about it before. My digestive track thanks me every day. So, for you it could be gum, it could be bread, it could be chicken, it could be Mentos, I don't know. Just make one change that UPS your energy and makes you feel GOOD.
2. Reframe your "bad" habit into something a little more encouraging. Some may disagree here but I tend to side with those who think tenderness and compassion bring about change. So, maybe you're consistently doing a habit that is hurting you. At least you have COMMITMENT. You are DEVOTED! That's a GREAT thing. Maybe you're even so familiar with this habit that you can help another avoid it and that's a SERVICE you're uniquely qualified to service. Again, not for everybody, but I like to find the POSITIVE as part of the approach to change.
3. Explore another side of something you know well. People tend to get comfortable and cozy not only in things that aren't working but in things which are working well. It could be to hold onto a feeling of safety or even success. You may think you know something well but have you really explored ALL FACETS of this thing? Probably not. If there is more to glean from something you already think you know so well, start exploring.
4. Give yourself a little dose of nature. I woke up today feeling like if I don't get into a park soon, I may turn into a smokestack. And I don't smoke. I do, however, live in downtown Manhattan and am surrounded many, many buildings. I used to live uptown and went to Central Park at least one morning a week. I swear my first thought is I need a week out of the city, which certainly would be nice and is coming up for me in March (when I go to SXSW, yee haw!) but in the meantime, I can commit to one park outing a week. It's going to happen this Saturday after I teach intenSati, if you want to join me for a meditation. I can't overstate enough how important it is to take in some FRESH AIR and enjoy a few beautiful TREES, SUNSHINE and QUIET. Just a little will do you so good.
5. Join a new team that inspires and believes in you. You didn't think I was going to get through this entire post without mentioning Jeremy Lin again, did you? I am, officially, obsessed with interviewing him for this blog. You just wait. :) SO, in case you did not know, JLin was assigned to the D League and waived by the Golden State Warriors and Houston Rockets before being signed by the Knicks. We all know what that lead to...BOO YAH! Now I know he didn't have much of a say in that whole process but you can learn from it, right? He just needed to land with the right group of guys, the right group of coaches and the right group of NY KNICKS fans to experience a monumental jump in his performance and success. Maybe one of your tweaks is to do something similar.
Have a great day and if any of this is working for you, please comment, share it with someone, #inspireitforward or email me at lindspiration@gmail.com to let me know!
Best,
Lindsay
Sunday, February 19, 2012
It's All Part of the Plan
Good morning!
God's been getting a lot of press lately. The Knicks' Jeremy Lin tributes God to his success, from a Higher Powered-inspired perseverance to his miraculous, clutch, game-winning 3 point shots. At Whitney Houston's funeral yesterday afternoon, a moving event held inside a Newark, NJ Baptist church, I thought God was going to somehow figure out a way to run a crawl or button on the screen's lower third thanking everybody for the continuous shout-outs.
Not since I used to watch Joel Osteen's ministries on the television (doesn't every Jewish girl have a Joel Osteen phase?) have I heard so much about God's power and the merciful nature of the Heavenly Father. The depth of the devotion had me convinced this is to some extent born and only enhanced by life experience and learning.
Meanwhile, newly ordained Cardinal Tim Dolan was recently in Rome getting ordained (sorry, don't know how to put that otherwise) and gave in to temptation. Dolan's been working with NY doctor Howard Shapiro to lose weight and took a few carb inspired steps back while in Italy. If he asked God for any help, it looks like God did not provide. (NO judgments, Cardinal Dolan. Trust me, I get it!)
Maybe God was busy the last few days, his attention diverted. Jeremy Lin's 9 turnovers did not help the Knicks friday night in a loss against the Hornets that ended their 7 game winning streak (I still love you, JLin, unconditionally. Pls grant me an interview.). And, perhaps God did not come to the aid of Whitney Houston, who from the sounds of it was deeply devoted, spiritual, and willing to ask her maker for help with her addictions and troubles.
The prevailing wisdom is it's by the grace of God that addicts recover. Grace.
Some would say that God wanted Whitney now. Perhaps God wanted Jeremy and the Knicks to lose Friday night and maybe, just maybe, God wanted Cardinal Dolan to eat pappardelle with cream sauce.
The next leap would be to trust that this is all part of God's plan. Trusting God is a big thing for the devoted, even when things don't resemble what you want them to resemble. It's all part of the plan. The plannnnnnn. Acceptance.
Personally, as I write this little blog on a gorgeous, sunny morning in NYC, feeling love and relieved of some stress I was asking Source energy (my preferred nomenclature for God) to lift, reflecting on Whitney, Jeremy and Timothy, 3 unique, powerful and exceptional creations, I get the sense that if there is a God, he gets out of the way during the lifespan of his creations.
I think God does his work early on and then lets people be. Maybe God's watching us from a distance (ah, Bette) or maybe God's busy working on the next creation. Who knows......
I love this song:
God's been getting a lot of press lately. The Knicks' Jeremy Lin tributes God to his success, from a Higher Powered-inspired perseverance to his miraculous, clutch, game-winning 3 point shots. At Whitney Houston's funeral yesterday afternoon, a moving event held inside a Newark, NJ Baptist church, I thought God was going to somehow figure out a way to run a crawl or button on the screen's lower third thanking everybody for the continuous shout-outs.
Not since I used to watch Joel Osteen's ministries on the television (doesn't every Jewish girl have a Joel Osteen phase?) have I heard so much about God's power and the merciful nature of the Heavenly Father. The depth of the devotion had me convinced this is to some extent born and only enhanced by life experience and learning.
Meanwhile, newly ordained Cardinal Tim Dolan was recently in Rome getting ordained (sorry, don't know how to put that otherwise) and gave in to temptation. Dolan's been working with NY doctor Howard Shapiro to lose weight and took a few carb inspired steps back while in Italy. If he asked God for any help, it looks like God did not provide. (NO judgments, Cardinal Dolan. Trust me, I get it!)
Maybe God was busy the last few days, his attention diverted. Jeremy Lin's 9 turnovers did not help the Knicks friday night in a loss against the Hornets that ended their 7 game winning streak (I still love you, JLin, unconditionally. Pls grant me an interview.). And, perhaps God did not come to the aid of Whitney Houston, who from the sounds of it was deeply devoted, spiritual, and willing to ask her maker for help with her addictions and troubles.
The prevailing wisdom is it's by the grace of God that addicts recover. Grace.
Some would say that God wanted Whitney now. Perhaps God wanted Jeremy and the Knicks to lose Friday night and maybe, just maybe, God wanted Cardinal Dolan to eat pappardelle with cream sauce.
The next leap would be to trust that this is all part of God's plan. Trusting God is a big thing for the devoted, even when things don't resemble what you want them to resemble. It's all part of the plan. The plannnnnnn. Acceptance.
Personally, as I write this little blog on a gorgeous, sunny morning in NYC, feeling love and relieved of some stress I was asking Source energy (my preferred nomenclature for God) to lift, reflecting on Whitney, Jeremy and Timothy, 3 unique, powerful and exceptional creations, I get the sense that if there is a God, he gets out of the way during the lifespan of his creations.
I think God does his work early on and then lets people be. Maybe God's watching us from a distance (ah, Bette) or maybe God's busy working on the next creation. Who knows......
I love this song:
Friday, February 17, 2012
Stop People Pleasing
I've had a very extroverted week...on social media, anyway. I started Tweeting more, updating my FB status regularly, commenting on celebrity deaths like Whitney or celebrity inspirationals, such as Jeremy Lin #linsanity and Adele, the latter who recently said on 60 MINUTES, "Exploiting yourself sexually is not a good look". Goddess.
Social media is in many ways like a newly settled landscape with groups of small tribes and audience armies. You can see communities that build around various "leaders" who all Tweet or share or comment in a similar language or way. There are people who become popular online because they're already well established as a writer, journalist, comedian, entertainer, teacher, artist, etc., and others who build a fan base and then an offering like a book or film just becomes an extension of their brand.
In a million years I never could've imagined this kind of interactive dance between people across the globe (I graduated High School in1995) and I am still figuring out how and whether it's working for me.
Remaining connected and constantly engaging with people by way of text, Facebook, Twitter, email or other forms of social media 24/7 ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT WORK FOR ME. Yeah. :) The inability or unwillingness to shut off the technology, except for when I sleep, work out, teach, go to rehearsal or perform, results in burn out and frustration. Makes my head hurt and I just don't like how it feels. Perhaps for people who lean towards the introverted side of the spectrum, there is just more comfort communicating in the virtual world. It's also a way to feel a sense of control -- you write to someone or perhaps to 1500 someones on FB and rather than expose yourself to the vulnerability of waiting for an in person reply or response from someone in the flesh, you're just going to see if someone comments or how they email you back.
I don't think anything compares to speaking to someone face to face, looking them in the eye, sharing your truth and waiting for their reaction.
I took an on-camera commercial audition class last night and had the chance to watch myself on tape again. It's amazing what I didn't realize I was communicating in body language and style until I saw myself and listened to about 6 people's honest feedback and opinion. I didn't really see myself. I felt hidden (underneath a LOT of hair, boy do I need it cut and trimmed around my face) and like I was retreating. I felt very measured and like I was playing it safe, mainly underneath the guise of wanting to be liked. I've written a lot about people pleasing in the past and while this isn't all news to me, I just read a new article that says people pleasing is also wrapped up in overeating in social situations because people are afraid to disappoint the host.
“People-pleasers feel more intense pressure to eat when they believe that their eating will help another person feel more comfortable. Almost everyone has been in a situation in which they’ve felt this pressure, but people-pleasers seem especially sensitive to it,” said Exline, whose study was published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology.
Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/02/how-people-pleasing-leads-to-overeating/#ixzz1meF9M4Up
Just think about that for a second. That as a full fledged adult you would allow yourself to ingest something you do NOT want to ingest, simply because you want the other to feel OK.
It's a metaphor, really, for all the ways you might adjust behaviors, a look, an attitude or an emotion to give someone else what you think they want (or actually do) and win approval. It happens on the job, in auditions, relationships, on line...
I know I do still do it plenty, with last night in class being just one example. That's why it feels particularly good in this moment as I type in my apartment with nary a person to please.
5 Ways to Break the Cycle of People Pleasing
1. Value being RESPECTED over being LIKED.
2. Spend time doing what you LOVE not doing what makes you more POPULAR.
3. Recognize that your look, sound, point of view, intelligence, and physique are UNIQUE. Value being DIFFERENT.
4. Avoid relationships with people who need to control others to feel all is right in their world. BOND with FREE spirits.
5. MEDITATE. It is the activity least reminiscent of a performance besides sleeping.
Best,
Lindsay
Social media is in many ways like a newly settled landscape with groups of small tribes and audience armies. You can see communities that build around various "leaders" who all Tweet or share or comment in a similar language or way. There are people who become popular online because they're already well established as a writer, journalist, comedian, entertainer, teacher, artist, etc., and others who build a fan base and then an offering like a book or film just becomes an extension of their brand.
In a million years I never could've imagined this kind of interactive dance between people across the globe (I graduated High School in1995) and I am still figuring out how and whether it's working for me.
Remaining connected and constantly engaging with people by way of text, Facebook, Twitter, email or other forms of social media 24/7 ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT WORK FOR ME. Yeah. :) The inability or unwillingness to shut off the technology, except for when I sleep, work out, teach, go to rehearsal or perform, results in burn out and frustration. Makes my head hurt and I just don't like how it feels. Perhaps for people who lean towards the introverted side of the spectrum, there is just more comfort communicating in the virtual world. It's also a way to feel a sense of control -- you write to someone or perhaps to 1500 someones on FB and rather than expose yourself to the vulnerability of waiting for an in person reply or response from someone in the flesh, you're just going to see if someone comments or how they email you back.
I don't think anything compares to speaking to someone face to face, looking them in the eye, sharing your truth and waiting for their reaction.
I took an on-camera commercial audition class last night and had the chance to watch myself on tape again. It's amazing what I didn't realize I was communicating in body language and style until I saw myself and listened to about 6 people's honest feedback and opinion. I didn't really see myself. I felt hidden (underneath a LOT of hair, boy do I need it cut and trimmed around my face) and like I was retreating. I felt very measured and like I was playing it safe, mainly underneath the guise of wanting to be liked. I've written a lot about people pleasing in the past and while this isn't all news to me, I just read a new article that says people pleasing is also wrapped up in overeating in social situations because people are afraid to disappoint the host.
“People-pleasers feel more intense pressure to eat when they believe that their eating will help another person feel more comfortable. Almost everyone has been in a situation in which they’ve felt this pressure, but people-pleasers seem especially sensitive to it,” said Exline, whose study was published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology.
Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/02/how-people-pleasing-leads-to-overeating/#ixzz1meF9M4Up
Just think about that for a second. That as a full fledged adult you would allow yourself to ingest something you do NOT want to ingest, simply because you want the other to feel OK.
It's a metaphor, really, for all the ways you might adjust behaviors, a look, an attitude or an emotion to give someone else what you think they want (or actually do) and win approval. It happens on the job, in auditions, relationships, on line...
I know I do still do it plenty, with last night in class being just one example. That's why it feels particularly good in this moment as I type in my apartment with nary a person to please.
5 Ways to Break the Cycle of People Pleasing
1. Value being RESPECTED over being LIKED.
2. Spend time doing what you LOVE not doing what makes you more POPULAR.
3. Recognize that your look, sound, point of view, intelligence, and physique are UNIQUE. Value being DIFFERENT.
4. Avoid relationships with people who need to control others to feel all is right in their world. BOND with FREE spirits.
5. MEDITATE. It is the activity least reminiscent of a performance besides sleeping.
Best,
Lindsay
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Lin-Sane in the Membrane
Good morning! The Linsanity in NY continues and last night I got even more caught up in the wave. I went to Madison Square Garden after work to see if I could score a pair of KNICKS tickets in a reasonable price range for me and my bro. The scalpers were out in full effect and laughed in my face when I said I was looking for a pair at $100 each. My brother monitored Stub Hub to see if prices would drop at tip off. Alas, they don't. They drop off the website entirely at game time, actually! At 7:40PM I went home to follow it on Yahoo (thanks, Time Warner Cable) and Lin dominated again but this time as the master of assists.
Who doesn't LOVE this guy?
Jeremy Lin's triumphant story is causing people to reach out and claim him. Asians and specifically the Taiwanese community because of his ethnicity, anybody associate with Harvard because it's his alma mater, underdogs in any arena because Lin was 4th string on the Knicks and cut from two teams, Christians because Lin is a devout lover of the Lord, New Yorkers because he is a Knick, and me, because Lin shares my name and the beautiful bit of branding my friend thought of a few years ago when I was blogging under 'Write it Out'. Hey, Linds, what about 'Lindspiration'?
Love it!
Jeremy Lin, if you ever want to blog at this address I will give you my password. The Lindspiration in me bows to the Lindspiration in you.
When I see someone coming into their greatness, thriving, growing and leading others after being told NO so many times, I get so emotional. I just spoke to this during an intro in intenSati class last week. The value of saying YES to yourself is something I learned in intenSati -- this development of a strong, inner YES. There is also a saying that NO is really NOT YET or that "Man's rejection is the Universe's protection", which I often take comfort in if there's a NO that is just not changing. It must not be meant to be and there's a protective element there -- I am being taken care of and can be grateful!
Last night I also had this thought about what it would be like if Jeremy Lin's streak ends and he stops playing such phenomenal ball. Would crowds and fans just abandon him? His rising star is more like a comet right now and this means commercials, product endorsements, etc, but everything would change if he flops or becomes average by NBA standards.
It sounds like because of his faith he would be okay and trust that's part of God's plans. I have't listened to interviews with him in the last 1-2 days but I bet he's just taking this all a day at a time.
My guess is he's not a flash in a pan. Lin is here to stay.
In entirely other news, I have 10 tips to encourage healthy eating that are working for me. I wrote them last night when I was going to sleep and reflecting on what's working for me these days in this arena. I like and suggest taking those kind of "what's working" inventories, even if it's just 5 minutes:
1. A great after dinner snack that is sweet and yummy is a banana. Mash it up and cook it in the microwave with a little bit of soy milk and cinnamon. Definitely a comfort food!
2. Kale can be rough. Ha. What cuts some of the bitterness for me is a fig vinegar I use along with the olive oil. The brand I like is called Vincotto.
3. Giving up gum and diet coke (I am two weeks off both except for half a glass of diet coke that I rejected in my body once I gulped it!) has been the BEST thing I've done for my digestive track and teeth in a long time. I was chewing a pack of day and drinking a can (or 20 oz bottle, eeeeksss) daily. I think I'm down half a size of bloat but more important, I swear, I am feeling more feelings, gut instincts, intuitive flashes and a deeper breath. It's amazing.
4. Citrus fruits this time of year are exactly what my body needs. I eat a grapefruit or orange every day at around 4pm. I think it has uplifting qualities because it's so bright. My friend had this quote on her Google Chat, "A grapefruit is a lemon that saw an opportunity and seized it." Something like that. :)
5. Probiotic yogurt drinks like Coffee Russian Kefir (or plain if you want less sugar) are great. Not sure whether it's a placebo effect or not but there's something positive going on with my digestion.
6. My cooking has become a much more pleasurable activity since I purchased the CUISINART 4-in-1 over the holidays. The thing browns, steams, roasts or slow cooks. My coworker delighted in my description of it and thought I was saying I'm the "foreign one" in my kitchen, which is how I typically feel at the start of an attempt to cook. Alas, it's the 4 in 1 (does those 4 things) and makes my life easier, which ups my motivation in the kitchen.
7. Having friends over for meals is an obvious way to enjoy your food more and stick to a healthy plan. Just remember to invite the ones who are on a similar, healthy path as you.
8. I email my food diary every day to someone each day so nothing I consume is secret. Love this. Why? Because it smashes that denial so many of us have that if you eat something in a hasty or sneaky fashion, it doesn't really count. If a tree falls and nobody hears it, did it fall? I don't know. I don't even know if that's the right saying. But, if you eat something and nobody sees it, you're still increasing your caloric intake. Timberrrrrrrrr...
9. I find a little cheese goes a long way. In other words, I used to eat egg white omelets or just a plain burger patty. Now, I sprinkle some parm cheese, goat cheese or brie and it just zings the whole meal up to another level. Makes me happy.
10. I only buy groceries for 3 days. For whatever reason, a bag of produce in my fridge gets eaten in a few days but if I bring in 3-4, I am overwhelmed and after a day or two, I'm done. It's this quirk but I share it bc maybe you or someone you know has this same thing. I kept buying groceries for the week and by day 3/4, I was done. Shopping 2-3x a week is a little hard but I'm close to a few places, so it works. Think this may have to do with setting smaller more manageable goals and expectations.
That's it. Jeremy Lin, I am putting my faith in the Universe granting me an interview with you sometime soon! I dedicate this song to you:
Monday, February 13, 2012
Fulfillment
No matter what the journey
at the end of the day
you decide whether to continue
it's your choice
I say giving yourself to something fully
is the only way to feel fulfilled.
at the end of the day
you decide whether to continue
it's your choice
I say giving yourself to something fully
is the only way to feel fulfilled.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Whitney
Whitney Houston had a rare voice. One which, as I listen to "Greatest Love of All" with my Bosu headphones, I remember as flawless.
She added virtuosity to pop confections, "How Will I Know" and "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" being two of my favorites from the earlier stages of her career. I remember seeing her videos (I was about 10) and marveling at how thin and limber she was, at her stunning smile with perfect teeth and that cute, little head flick nod thing she'd do while snapping her fingers. I would dance around the house imagining myself in neon and ruffles, waiting for delightful, cute black men to pop out from various rooms to meet me in my slinky, hot pink dress and big hair (it gets boring on long island sometimes).
Whitney sang about strength, "I decided long ago never to walk in anybody's shadow. If I fail or if I succeed, at least I'll live as I believe" and she sang about sharing while in the flow of giving and receiving, "My love is your love and your love is my love."
And, after a rather public battle with drugs and alcohol, a difficult relationship with singer Bobby Brown, a body which looked at times scarily malnourished, worldwide success followed by public pitfalls and humiliation, and who knows what else in privacy, Whitney Houston, at 48 years young, is dead.
The cause is still undisclosed at this point but reports don't show signs of foul play. The conclusion I was quick to draw is she OD'd or took her own life, at which point I rather hastily posted a few FB updates that are the first of mine to border on something of a Tweetified public service announcement urging people to get help for drug addiction, depression, eating disorders, or anything else life threatening (or even life compromising). That's where this blog post is going. There will be amazing tributes to Whitney and that angelic voice of hers, people will be energized or repulsed by the return of those 80s and 90s songs, and the collective will want to find out exactly what happened to her these last few years.
As I listen to Whitney sing "I will be free" from the song "One Moment in Time, "as I think about the conversation I had with a friend yesterday in which she asked my advice on how to deal w/ a friend of hers she thinks may be alcoholic, as I listen to Whitney sing, "Each day I play the role. Of someone always in control. But at night I turn the key. There's nobody there. No one cares for me" from "I Want to Run to You", I think of that need for escape, escape from the self, life, personal history, shame, and that need, that drive, that URGE to run away from the loneliness.
Oh, it is a powerful drive. Adding poisons, toxins or pleasure seeking behaviors to the body at that point means a whole lotta trouble. It meant trouble for me in the past (I am gratefully in recovery for an eating disorder, depression and anxiety), it meant trouble at one point for a lot of my friends, and I'm sure you either know someone or can identify with this yourself, this certain kind of trouble.
The point now will be to celebrate Whitney's music, honor her memory, and respect her family's privacy (she leaves behind a daughter). The sadness we all feel should be felt and processed. It is terribly sad to lose someone you love, someone you've forgotten about whose beauty and brilliance you recall only now in the wake of a sudden passing. Memory can feel woefully inadequate when trying to mourn someone you let fall of your radar.
It will make us question whether systems fail people. Our paparazzi infused celebrity adoration society, the way we treat addiction, the pressures on women to stay skinny and never get old, spirituality as a means to acquire more stuff as opposed to help others, and other aspects of the collective.
Some people will feel guilt, that they've failed Whitney, others will look at her specifically and think she failed herself.
I will return to what I feel is the most important thing to write about in this moment, which is, every day on this earth in this very moment, thousands of people are suffering and bouncing or doing aerial jumps on a tightrope like that dude during the Madonnna Super Bowl halftime show, one which could lead to a terrible fall. The most significant thing to know is that at the end of the day, THE PERSON FEELS ALONE. They have given up relationships for the addiction, self love for the addiction, self care for the addiction, family for the addiction and love for the addiction.
They feel painfully, awfully, pathetically, and in no uncertain terms ALONE.
As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
I'm lost without a cause
after giving it my all
winters storms have come
and I can't find sun
after all I've been through
who at all can I turn to you
I look to you
I look to you
after all my strength is gone
in you I can be strong.
-Whitney Houston "I Look to You"
The Source energy that runs through us all gives some people strength to recover but Source sends angels in the form of people to do the work. Are you someone another person can look to for help? Someone someone can look to or turn to in a time of desperation and need?
And, if you are that person who is on the tightrope (again, please look past the PSA nature of this bc I'm just not feeling in the mood right now to be witty) will you look up and ask for help? There is NO SHAME in it at all. The world needs every single person on it to do more good for another. It doesn't matter if you have pissed all over your life, if you have no job or a job you should love but hate, if you're terribly alone or unable to feel the depth and love that IS present in your life, whether you are popular on Facebook or Twitter, none of that matters.
The secret that so many people in recovery understand is the ability to be "happy, joyous and free" is inside us at all times and can be tapped independent of outside circumstances. Also, that service and helping another person can literally save your own life.
I guess the final thought I'm having today is the reminder to live life fully, joyfully, and with love every day, because you just don't know when it's going to end. Also, that no fan adoration, fame, riches, popularity, god given brilliant talent or beauty is enough if you don't love and get right with yourself or are able to find the right kind of help you need to pull out of some kind of life threatening cycle. It's kind of heart breaking, really, but the other side of any heartbreak is, if you allow it, a heart that is open to give and receive even deeper love.
Rest in peace, beautiful Whitney Houston. I am so sorry you are gone.
She added virtuosity to pop confections, "How Will I Know" and "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" being two of my favorites from the earlier stages of her career. I remember seeing her videos (I was about 10) and marveling at how thin and limber she was, at her stunning smile with perfect teeth and that cute, little head flick nod thing she'd do while snapping her fingers. I would dance around the house imagining myself in neon and ruffles, waiting for delightful, cute black men to pop out from various rooms to meet me in my slinky, hot pink dress and big hair (it gets boring on long island sometimes).
Whitney sang about strength, "I decided long ago never to walk in anybody's shadow. If I fail or if I succeed, at least I'll live as I believe" and she sang about sharing while in the flow of giving and receiving, "My love is your love and your love is my love."
And, after a rather public battle with drugs and alcohol, a difficult relationship with singer Bobby Brown, a body which looked at times scarily malnourished, worldwide success followed by public pitfalls and humiliation, and who knows what else in privacy, Whitney Houston, at 48 years young, is dead.
The cause is still undisclosed at this point but reports don't show signs of foul play. The conclusion I was quick to draw is she OD'd or took her own life, at which point I rather hastily posted a few FB updates that are the first of mine to border on something of a Tweetified public service announcement urging people to get help for drug addiction, depression, eating disorders, or anything else life threatening (or even life compromising). That's where this blog post is going. There will be amazing tributes to Whitney and that angelic voice of hers, people will be energized or repulsed by the return of those 80s and 90s songs, and the collective will want to find out exactly what happened to her these last few years.
As I listen to Whitney sing "I will be free" from the song "One Moment in Time, "as I think about the conversation I had with a friend yesterday in which she asked my advice on how to deal w/ a friend of hers she thinks may be alcoholic, as I listen to Whitney sing, "Each day I play the role. Of someone always in control. But at night I turn the key. There's nobody there. No one cares for me" from "I Want to Run to You", I think of that need for escape, escape from the self, life, personal history, shame, and that need, that drive, that URGE to run away from the loneliness.
Oh, it is a powerful drive. Adding poisons, toxins or pleasure seeking behaviors to the body at that point means a whole lotta trouble. It meant trouble for me in the past (I am gratefully in recovery for an eating disorder, depression and anxiety), it meant trouble at one point for a lot of my friends, and I'm sure you either know someone or can identify with this yourself, this certain kind of trouble.
The point now will be to celebrate Whitney's music, honor her memory, and respect her family's privacy (she leaves behind a daughter). The sadness we all feel should be felt and processed. It is terribly sad to lose someone you love, someone you've forgotten about whose beauty and brilliance you recall only now in the wake of a sudden passing. Memory can feel woefully inadequate when trying to mourn someone you let fall of your radar.
It will make us question whether systems fail people. Our paparazzi infused celebrity adoration society, the way we treat addiction, the pressures on women to stay skinny and never get old, spirituality as a means to acquire more stuff as opposed to help others, and other aspects of the collective.
Some people will feel guilt, that they've failed Whitney, others will look at her specifically and think she failed herself.
I will return to what I feel is the most important thing to write about in this moment, which is, every day on this earth in this very moment, thousands of people are suffering and bouncing or doing aerial jumps on a tightrope like that dude during the Madonnna Super Bowl halftime show, one which could lead to a terrible fall. The most significant thing to know is that at the end of the day, THE PERSON FEELS ALONE. They have given up relationships for the addiction, self love for the addiction, self care for the addiction, family for the addiction and love for the addiction.
They feel painfully, awfully, pathetically, and in no uncertain terms ALONE.
As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
I'm lost without a cause
after giving it my all
winters storms have come
and I can't find sun
after all I've been through
who at all can I turn to you
I look to you
I look to you
after all my strength is gone
in you I can be strong.
-Whitney Houston "I Look to You"
The Source energy that runs through us all gives some people strength to recover but Source sends angels in the form of people to do the work. Are you someone another person can look to for help? Someone someone can look to or turn to in a time of desperation and need?
And, if you are that person who is on the tightrope (again, please look past the PSA nature of this bc I'm just not feeling in the mood right now to be witty) will you look up and ask for help? There is NO SHAME in it at all. The world needs every single person on it to do more good for another. It doesn't matter if you have pissed all over your life, if you have no job or a job you should love but hate, if you're terribly alone or unable to feel the depth and love that IS present in your life, whether you are popular on Facebook or Twitter, none of that matters.
The secret that so many people in recovery understand is the ability to be "happy, joyous and free" is inside us at all times and can be tapped independent of outside circumstances. Also, that service and helping another person can literally save your own life.
I guess the final thought I'm having today is the reminder to live life fully, joyfully, and with love every day, because you just don't know when it's going to end. Also, that no fan adoration, fame, riches, popularity, god given brilliant talent or beauty is enough if you don't love and get right with yourself or are able to find the right kind of help you need to pull out of some kind of life threatening cycle. It's kind of heart breaking, really, but the other side of any heartbreak is, if you allow it, a heart that is open to give and receive even deeper love.
Rest in peace, beautiful Whitney Houston. I am so sorry you are gone.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Jeremy Lin-Spiration - I want YOU for an interview on this blog, please!
Good morning! I work in TV and when a few of my coworkers who know about this blog told me there's some guy Jeremy Lin stealing my Lindspiration thunder (ha ha ha), I had to find out who and what they were talking about! So, I turned on the KNICKS game last night and watched it start to finish, only to have my mind blown by the evening's star -- Harvard grad, no contract, 4th string turned starting point guard PHENOM, Jeremy Lin. Yeahhh!!!
(Note: I have a basketball background and was a point guard. I played through senior year of high school and almost went out for the varsity team at Cornell but I decided to stick with just soccer. I know and love the game, although admittedly I usually prefer college hoops (men and women) to the NBA. Until now...)
As the Times wrote a few days ago in its piece, Lin's Success Surprising to Everyone, Morey concluded, “The reality is he has done more than all 30 teams thought he would do." This was written before his game/season high 38 points of last evening against the Lakers, when his shooting, passing, work off the picks and rolls, drives to the baskets and calm force of strength sent Kobe and the boys home packing! Pack-ing.
I bring this up for a lot reasons but mainly because a. this all just happened in about a week when he started breaking and killing it, b. he is incredibly humble and in every single interview deflects attention from himself onto the value of his team and c. is the perfect example of what happens when you're PERSISTENT and don't quit on yourself.
What if he listened to any talk in his head that could've potentially gone like this, "I'm 4th f*$()# string and sleeping on my brother's couch. I am not even sleeping bc I'm on the lower east side and these bars are hopping 24/7, ugh. No contract. Nobody really giving a shit what I do. I'm outta here."
If he had anything resembling that voice and listened to it, he would never be enjoying this dream come true.
So, Jeremy, if you are reading this blog I would like to say THANK YOU for being such a LINSPIRATION and if you are willing, I would love to interview you for this blog. Come on, #inspireitforward, yes yes yes! We can all continue to learn about the power of persistence from your example and will be watching!
To all of you reading, KEEP GOING!! Put your heart into it, never give up on yourself and GO!!!!
Best,
LBD
PS I was excited to learn yesterday that there's a player on the Lakers who calls himself Metta World Peace. Hearing sports announcers shouting "World Peace" this and "World Peace" kind of made my night.
(Note: I have a basketball background and was a point guard. I played through senior year of high school and almost went out for the varsity team at Cornell but I decided to stick with just soccer. I know and love the game, although admittedly I usually prefer college hoops (men and women) to the NBA. Until now...)
As the Times wrote a few days ago in its piece, Lin's Success Surprising to Everyone, Morey concluded, “The reality is he has done more than all 30 teams thought he would do." This was written before his game/season high 38 points of last evening against the Lakers, when his shooting, passing, work off the picks and rolls, drives to the baskets and calm force of strength sent Kobe and the boys home packing! Pack-ing.
I bring this up for a lot reasons but mainly because a. this all just happened in about a week when he started breaking and killing it, b. he is incredibly humble and in every single interview deflects attention from himself onto the value of his team and c. is the perfect example of what happens when you're PERSISTENT and don't quit on yourself.
What if he listened to any talk in his head that could've potentially gone like this, "I'm 4th f*$()# string and sleeping on my brother's couch. I am not even sleeping bc I'm on the lower east side and these bars are hopping 24/7, ugh. No contract. Nobody really giving a shit what I do. I'm outta here."
If he had anything resembling that voice and listened to it, he would never be enjoying this dream come true.
So, Jeremy, if you are reading this blog I would like to say THANK YOU for being such a LINSPIRATION and if you are willing, I would love to interview you for this blog. Come on, #inspireitforward, yes yes yes! We can all continue to learn about the power of persistence from your example and will be watching!
To all of you reading, KEEP GOING!! Put your heart into it, never give up on yourself and GO!!!!
Best,
LBD
PS I was excited to learn yesterday that there's a player on the Lakers who calls himself Metta World Peace. Hearing sports announcers shouting "World Peace" this and "World Peace" kind of made my night.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
10 Things that are Working
I love sharing what's working. One of the simplest ways to achieve change is to look at what IS working and do more of THAT. Seems abundantly simple? That's 'cause it is.
1. As of a few days ago, I am officially diet coke and gum FREE. The result is that I've shrunk about half a size. The kind of bloat that came along with a can and a pack can only really be appreciated now that it's gone. I literally got sick and tired of being sick and bloated.
2. To help deal with stress/anxiety, my first step, my holy trinity of coping, is -- the breath, cold water and stillness. This precedes any shift in thinking, any new action, or any decision making. I slow down and deepen my breathing. I drink ice cold water (no fizz) . I don't move. I just sit. I can't begin to say how hopeful (I mean helpful, but it is hopeful, too!) this is, not to mention courageous, since it can feel very scary to just sit in the anxiety and do nothing while anxious thoughts fly around in your head like balls in a batting range. Yet, what happens time and again in things begin to slow down and I start to feel better.
3. intenSati. I teach it, I take it, I LOVE it. www.satilife.com
4. I have a personal trainer I work with weekly and in between sessions -- every single day* -- I email him what I ate for the day, what I did exercise-wise and what I did to REST. Such value. The REST section is hilarious, since you're looking at someone for whom "sat on couch and watched Smash" is an event. If slowing down is challenging, I highly suggest building in REST activities, from meditation to 10 minutes of thumbing through a magazine (the paper kind).
5. Building in "every single day" habits. Do something every single day for 30 days and see how keeping that level of commitment affects you. :)
6. I shared about my recent foray into ACT therapy (see my last post) and one of the key tenets is to feel without trying to shift or change anything I'm feeling. The effect is usually that what I'm feeling shifts, so while I kind of hate this therapeutic modality for being sneaky and subtle in the way it gets what it wants, I kind of love it bc it WORKS. Google "Get Out of Your Mind and into Your Life" by Stephen Hayes.
7. I continue to allow myself to dream as big as my heart, mind and soul desires to dream. What do you think I was thinking during the Super Bowl halftime show? Wow, minus the stilettos and pom poms, this would be FUN!!!
8. You may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one. Per the above, I hang out with people who support me and my dreams, honor my ambitions, give a rat's ass about my happiness because they love me (not love what I can do for them) and vice versa.
9. I take classes. I've been taking acting, singing and dancing classes for the majority of my life. I never stop bc there's always something to learn! Next up, NADETTE STASA's ON CAMERA COMMERCIAL CLASS. We start a week from Thursday and there are still open spots. Interested in trying something new?
10. I think about my life from a service perspective and a passion perspective. If there is something I LOVE to do and in some way shape or form it makes the world a better place, I get on board.
There you go! #inspireitforward
Would love to hear what is working for you!
Namaste,
Lindsay
1. As of a few days ago, I am officially diet coke and gum FREE. The result is that I've shrunk about half a size. The kind of bloat that came along with a can and a pack can only really be appreciated now that it's gone. I literally got sick and tired of being sick and bloated.
2. To help deal with stress/anxiety, my first step, my holy trinity of coping, is -- the breath, cold water and stillness. This precedes any shift in thinking, any new action, or any decision making. I slow down and deepen my breathing. I drink ice cold water (no fizz) . I don't move. I just sit. I can't begin to say how hopeful (I mean helpful, but it is hopeful, too!) this is, not to mention courageous, since it can feel very scary to just sit in the anxiety and do nothing while anxious thoughts fly around in your head like balls in a batting range. Yet, what happens time and again in things begin to slow down and I start to feel better.
3. intenSati. I teach it, I take it, I LOVE it. www.satilife.com
4. I have a personal trainer I work with weekly and in between sessions -- every single day* -- I email him what I ate for the day, what I did exercise-wise and what I did to REST. Such value. The REST section is hilarious, since you're looking at someone for whom "sat on couch and watched Smash" is an event. If slowing down is challenging, I highly suggest building in REST activities, from meditation to 10 minutes of thumbing through a magazine (the paper kind).
5. Building in "every single day" habits. Do something every single day for 30 days and see how keeping that level of commitment affects you. :)
6. I shared about my recent foray into ACT therapy (see my last post) and one of the key tenets is to feel without trying to shift or change anything I'm feeling. The effect is usually that what I'm feeling shifts, so while I kind of hate this therapeutic modality for being sneaky and subtle in the way it gets what it wants, I kind of love it bc it WORKS. Google "Get Out of Your Mind and into Your Life" by Stephen Hayes.
7. I continue to allow myself to dream as big as my heart, mind and soul desires to dream. What do you think I was thinking during the Super Bowl halftime show? Wow, minus the stilettos and pom poms, this would be FUN!!!
8. You may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one. Per the above, I hang out with people who support me and my dreams, honor my ambitions, give a rat's ass about my happiness because they love me (not love what I can do for them) and vice versa.
9. I take classes. I've been taking acting, singing and dancing classes for the majority of my life. I never stop bc there's always something to learn! Next up, NADETTE STASA's ON CAMERA COMMERCIAL CLASS. We start a week from Thursday and there are still open spots. Interested in trying something new?
10. I think about my life from a service perspective and a passion perspective. If there is something I LOVE to do and in some way shape or form it makes the world a better place, I get on board.
There you go! #inspireitforward
Would love to hear what is working for you!
Namaste,
Lindsay
Monday, February 6, 2012
Open to Surprises
Get out, get out, get out even more, Lindsay (they personalize, I love that)! Because there are people you've yet to meet, laughs you've yet to share, stories you've yet to live, and riches you've yet to tap into, that will not find you under any other circumstances. Besides, how else can I shower you with surprises? (www.tut.com)
I love how this email lands right with my experience of this past weekend. One of the tools in my wellness toolkit (doesn't everybody have a wellness toolkit? ok, maybe not, which is one of the reasons I blog) I use in my life is something called ACT, which stands for Acceptance Commitment Therapy. It's a modality created by Stephen Hayes, the essence of which is to "quit fighting against your pain so you can focus on getting through it". Rather than try to shift, avoid, transform, ignore or deny any kind of painful feeling, the point is to really surrender to it with compassion and gentleness. From there, it's possible to look at what you are committed to from a values standpoint and act accordingly.
Here's an example. Yesterday afternoon I felt some discomfort along the lines of fatigue, avoidance and a desire to just do nothing but curl up on my bed. Despite loving the Super Bowl and wanting to join in the NY spirit, all I really thought and felt was how much I did NOT feel like being in a bar to watch the GIANTS take on the Pats and Madonna take on a set of bleachers in stilettos (I did not know that at the time, obvi, just illustrating) all the way in Park Slope, which in my mind at the time felt like a journey from the north to southern tip of a large state, rather than a few stops on the subway and 8 minute walk. I also had a stomach ache.
Basically, I could tell things in my head and body were a little exaggerated. Maybe even a lot. SO, with this new ACT tool, the goal at the time was not to try and change anything I was thinking or feeling. It was just to be mindful of them. I did't even tell myself my brain might be exaggerating things a bit. I actually put my head down and took a nap. But the goal was just to take a nap and be present, not change anything. Then I thought about my commitment to my values, which are to be with friends on fun occasions (like the Giants in the SUper Bowl and Madonna performing the halftime show), I thought about my value of living in reciprocity with people I care about (not always expecting Brooklynites to come to Manhattan being a nice example of that in my world), and also the desire to go out, meet new people and just have more fun in my life.
By the time I showered, got on the 2/3, put my script in my bag to learn lines instead of doing nothing on the train except staring at the ads, popped a Tums for my stomach, and arrived at Union Hall in Brooklyn less than 10 minutes into the first quarter, I felt much better. I wasn't over the moon but I was grateful, content and felt in alignment. I literally "ACTed my way into right thinking" and whatever voice was discouraging me from venturing out into the world for a little fun had completely fallen away. Pretty cool.
GO GIANTS!!!!!! GO MADONNA!!!
The other part of this little quote is about surprises. On Saturday night I went to one of my oldest, dearest friends' surprise birthday party which her doting husband organized. I met some new people, saw some old familiar faces, and actually felt a lot of pleasure talking to women my age who seem happily married with kids. I was reminded how beautiful and precious it is to be in a loving, healthy relationship.
I recently taught a class (intenSati Single and Sensational 1, I think the second installment will be in April) about feeling empowered while single. I realize how personal the journey is, how wrong it is to ever judge myself or others, the way we all have different needs and desires, etc, etc, but what matters most is knowing what you really want and standing for it with unshakable self respect, even in the moments when nothing would be as comfortable as going back to the old flame. For a while I simply could not do that, I could not stand alone, but once I hit a bottom however many months ago, I never went back. I am finally free. I do still feel sad sometimes, empty sometimes, a bit bored, frustrated, and whatever else. I do still have the occasional flashes of jealousy and envy when seeing other couples and missing the person I cared about deeply, BUT but but, all those feelings pass. This zone is the best place to be for really discovering who I am, what I'm made of and what I really want. I am at peace with feeling those feelings and the truth is they are getting lighter, fewer and farther between. I know that now only because I made the leap.
Life is FULL of surprises every single day. New people, faces, places and opportunities will enter your world at any moment and change the course of your existence, break your rut, shift your thinking, radically alter your career, your love life, health, and potentially so much more. Here's to following the Universe's lead and being recipients of life's many gifts........
I love how this email lands right with my experience of this past weekend. One of the tools in my wellness toolkit (doesn't everybody have a wellness toolkit? ok, maybe not, which is one of the reasons I blog) I use in my life is something called ACT, which stands for Acceptance Commitment Therapy. It's a modality created by Stephen Hayes, the essence of which is to "quit fighting against your pain so you can focus on getting through it". Rather than try to shift, avoid, transform, ignore or deny any kind of painful feeling, the point is to really surrender to it with compassion and gentleness. From there, it's possible to look at what you are committed to from a values standpoint and act accordingly.
Here's an example. Yesterday afternoon I felt some discomfort along the lines of fatigue, avoidance and a desire to just do nothing but curl up on my bed. Despite loving the Super Bowl and wanting to join in the NY spirit, all I really thought and felt was how much I did NOT feel like being in a bar to watch the GIANTS take on the Pats and Madonna take on a set of bleachers in stilettos (I did not know that at the time, obvi, just illustrating) all the way in Park Slope, which in my mind at the time felt like a journey from the north to southern tip of a large state, rather than a few stops on the subway and 8 minute walk. I also had a stomach ache.
Basically, I could tell things in my head and body were a little exaggerated. Maybe even a lot. SO, with this new ACT tool, the goal at the time was not to try and change anything I was thinking or feeling. It was just to be mindful of them. I did't even tell myself my brain might be exaggerating things a bit. I actually put my head down and took a nap. But the goal was just to take a nap and be present, not change anything. Then I thought about my commitment to my values, which are to be with friends on fun occasions (like the Giants in the SUper Bowl and Madonna performing the halftime show), I thought about my value of living in reciprocity with people I care about (not always expecting Brooklynites to come to Manhattan being a nice example of that in my world), and also the desire to go out, meet new people and just have more fun in my life.
By the time I showered, got on the 2/3, put my script in my bag to learn lines instead of doing nothing on the train except staring at the ads, popped a Tums for my stomach, and arrived at Union Hall in Brooklyn less than 10 minutes into the first quarter, I felt much better. I wasn't over the moon but I was grateful, content and felt in alignment. I literally "ACTed my way into right thinking" and whatever voice was discouraging me from venturing out into the world for a little fun had completely fallen away. Pretty cool.
GO GIANTS!!!!!! GO MADONNA!!!
The other part of this little quote is about surprises. On Saturday night I went to one of my oldest, dearest friends' surprise birthday party which her doting husband organized. I met some new people, saw some old familiar faces, and actually felt a lot of pleasure talking to women my age who seem happily married with kids. I was reminded how beautiful and precious it is to be in a loving, healthy relationship.
I recently taught a class (intenSati Single and Sensational 1, I think the second installment will be in April) about feeling empowered while single. I realize how personal the journey is, how wrong it is to ever judge myself or others, the way we all have different needs and desires, etc, etc, but what matters most is knowing what you really want and standing for it with unshakable self respect, even in the moments when nothing would be as comfortable as going back to the old flame. For a while I simply could not do that, I could not stand alone, but once I hit a bottom however many months ago, I never went back. I am finally free. I do still feel sad sometimes, empty sometimes, a bit bored, frustrated, and whatever else. I do still have the occasional flashes of jealousy and envy when seeing other couples and missing the person I cared about deeply, BUT but but, all those feelings pass. This zone is the best place to be for really discovering who I am, what I'm made of and what I really want. I am at peace with feeling those feelings and the truth is they are getting lighter, fewer and farther between. I know that now only because I made the leap.
Life is FULL of surprises every single day. New people, faces, places and opportunities will enter your world at any moment and change the course of your existence, break your rut, shift your thinking, radically alter your career, your love life, health, and potentially so much more. Here's to following the Universe's lead and being recipients of life's many gifts........
Saturday, February 4, 2012
intenSati High Cardio Burn FEB SERIES
Good morning! Just shot this little Vlog for you after class (no make up, sweat, bring it!) and I hope you enjoy. If you were in class today, THANK YOU so much for filling the room with such amazing energy! One note, I said the quote "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams" is by Emerson but it's actually Henry David Thoreau. Here is this month's series!
I am playing full out (PLAY FULL OUT)
right from the start (COMMITMENT)
I am inspired to dream (INSPIRATION)
and follow my heart (DESIRE)
I am honest I keep it real (DIG IT)
with every challenge I learn to deal (CHALLENGE)
Life brings me to it (EXCITED)
Love brings me through it (LOVE)
I know I can do it (FAITH)
every single day (ENTHUSIASM)
Lies, I don't believe them (READY)
Excused, I don't need them (RELEASE)
Setbacks, I don't see them (ABLE)
I am free now (FREE)
I know I'm resilient (EMPOWERED)
Happy is a choice (HAPPY)
there is beauty in the depth (BEAUTY)
and power of my voice (WILLPOWER)
See you in class! I have a guest passes if you are not a member of Equinox and want to come, so just email me before 5pm on Thursday before the Saturday you want to attend. Easy peasy.
Wishing you a wonderful rest of the day and weekend!
With gratitude,
Lindsay
I am playing full out (PLAY FULL OUT)
right from the start (COMMITMENT)
I am inspired to dream (INSPIRATION)
and follow my heart (DESIRE)
I am honest I keep it real (DIG IT)
with every challenge I learn to deal (CHALLENGE)
Life brings me to it (EXCITED)
Love brings me through it (LOVE)
I know I can do it (FAITH)
every single day (ENTHUSIASM)
Lies, I don't believe them (READY)
Excused, I don't need them (RELEASE)
Setbacks, I don't see them (ABLE)
I am free now (FREE)
I know I'm resilient (EMPOWERED)
Happy is a choice (HAPPY)
there is beauty in the depth (BEAUTY)
and power of my voice (WILLPOWER)
See you in class! I have a guest passes if you are not a member of Equinox and want to come, so just email me before 5pm on Thursday before the Saturday you want to attend. Easy peasy.
Wishing you a wonderful rest of the day and weekend!
With gratitude,
Lindsay
Friday, February 3, 2012
Updates on the writing, acting and fitness fronts
Hi, friends!
A few updates to share...
My latest travel piece for BBC.com about the music scene in Philadelphia is posted and can be read here:
http://www.bbc.com/travel/feature/20120202-philadelphias-musical-roots
I have 2 great acting gigs coming up and they're both comedies, which will be amusing (ideally) to say the least:
Monday Feb 13th at 7PM at the Ritz Lounge. I am in a staged reading of the full length comedy "On the Brink" by Nina Mansfield. $5 suggested donation. www.ticket2eternityproductions.com
March 7-10 at 7:30PM and Mar 11 at 3PM I am in a comedic short play called "A Eulogy for Leroy" by Jason Green. It's part of the Winter Comedy Showcase at Shetler Studios Theater (244 W. 54th St) and tickets will go on sale soon.
And finally, on the fitness front, I am teaching intenSati at Equinox Columbus Circle! Class is every Saturday from 8:30AM-9:15AM. Msg me for a guest pass if you're interested in coming to class! Exclamation points for the fitness section, woo hoo!!! #inspireitforward
Want to stay up to date? Follow me on Twitter (LBDinNYC), read my blog (www.lindspiration.blogspot.com) or stalk me on Facebook (Lindsay B. Davis, don't forget the B).
With love, gratitude, and a newfound fondness for social media,
Lindsay xo
A few updates to share...
My latest travel piece for BBC.com about the music scene in Philadelphia is posted and can be read here:
http://www.bbc.com/travel/feature/20120202-philadelphias-musical-roots
I have 2 great acting gigs coming up and they're both comedies, which will be amusing (ideally) to say the least:
Monday Feb 13th at 7PM at the Ritz Lounge. I am in a staged reading of the full length comedy "On the Brink" by Nina Mansfield. $5 suggested donation. www.ticket2eternityproductions.com
March 7-10 at 7:30PM and Mar 11 at 3PM I am in a comedic short play called "A Eulogy for Leroy" by Jason Green. It's part of the Winter Comedy Showcase at Shetler Studios Theater (244 W. 54th St) and tickets will go on sale soon.
And finally, on the fitness front, I am teaching intenSati at Equinox Columbus Circle! Class is every Saturday from 8:30AM-9:15AM. Msg me for a guest pass if you're interested in coming to class! Exclamation points for the fitness section, woo hoo!!! #inspireitforward
Want to stay up to date? Follow me on Twitter (LBDinNYC), read my blog (www.lindspiration.blogspot.com) or stalk me on Facebook (Lindsay B. Davis, don't forget the B).
With love, gratitude, and a newfound fondness for social media,
Lindsay xo
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