Focused Attention

Good morning! Hoping this breaks into paragraphs but as Blogger goes through its redesign period glitches, that may not happen. We'll see. OK, just tested and it's not. No paragraphs Day 2, argh. Blogger, what's up!? Really quick post before I head out for the day. This one is based on a line I read earlier in Each Day A New Beginning: The purity of a relationship is directly proportional to the UNDIVIDED (my caps) attention we give to those shared moments, hours, experiences, to being there with one another. This communion with another is the celebration of life that quickens the heart and ushers in serenity. As I'm going through my own period of being in a primary relationship with MYSELF (my caps) I can offer a gentle reminder that the same way to go about sharing this with others happens effectively when you give your own sweet self UNDIVIDED attention with loving presence. Just sit, breathe, write, listen to a song...be with yourself and focus on one task that connects you to YOU. Once you allow yourself to be by yourself, you will start to live from your depth with a strength you've never felt in your life. It's quiet, simple and gentle. I keep getting these reminders that love is simple. Two days ago I was walking near my apartment and ran into someone who had a dog that looked like a mini Boston Terrier. That's exactly what it was and I was SO happy to have this encounter since the BT is the breed I've always wanted but I like little dogs. Not yappy dogs, little quiet ones. Like Shitzus. (Spike, I miss you. RIP.) This teacup Boston Terrier's breeder lives in Texas and I will be in touch with her when I'm ready, yay. In the meantime, I don't have puppy love on the outside. I just have Lindsay love on the inside (aww). I'm grateful it's a lot like puppy love when I'm in a good mood but more like a pit bull when I'm not, self-criticism being the old habit I pick up. All this to say, with a little focused attention on your heart and yourself, you can, in a matter of minutes, shift your perspective from one of self criticism to self acceptance. It takes a willingness to step out of the familiar and risk opening yourself, trusting, and going to that "celebration of life" place that "quickens the heart and ushers in serenity". I'm trusting you can find that on your own right here, right now.

Switching Gears

NOTE: DUE TO A CHANGE IN BLOGGER, today's post is not formatting into paragraphs. So, for now it appears as a giant rant. Enjoy! :) Good morning! I feel a need to switch gears, since as of late I've been so consumed by my recent trip to South By Southwest I've considered tattooing SXSW or Kiss Me, I'm Texan. What? Don't I Look It? on a visible body part. This would be considered "out of character" to anybody who knows me, part of the appeal, actually. One of the many effects a week at an indie music festival had on me is a desire to be more bad but in a way that doesn't involve compromising safety or hygiene nor leave me overwhelmed with guilt. I blogged about the post-performance funk I usually feel and how going from performing in the Winter Comedy Fest' to working at SX didn't really phase me but now, I'm feeling that low. I've been back from Austin 10 days already and I'm still listening to the same artists I was obsessed with before I left (the Communion label family, basically), new ones I met (The Big Pink, Santigold, Blood Orange) and ones being recommended to me SX post-mortem (The Rural Alberta Advantage. They're Canadian.) I feel itchy for a new trip. Sitting at a desk all day feels restrictive and I want a bumper sticker which reads "Once you go passionate it's hard to go back to it" because that's what it's like for many creatives with a day job. You taste the joy of doing what you love and then you go back to the way you pay your bills for today. You don't want to seem ungrateful since "Well, come on, you have a job in this economy!" one that affords you a nice place to work and enough money to get by, but, you still feel frustrated. The way to feel better, at least according to my mom and other wise folks, is to have a plan so you feel in control of your destiny. Focus on creating the next opportunity. Being in acceptance with life exactly as it is and oh, to be that wise and peaceful. * I was up late last night reading a paper published by two academics (one from Harvard the other from Case Western) through Dartmouth University in a journal called Psychological Bulletin. Its thesis is that binge eating disorder stems from a desire for the eater to escape self awareness and wow, what a fascinating read. It speaks to binge eating and bulimia specifically but I think it's a great paper for understanding overeating of any variety or really any activity one elects to do in order to "escape" from themselves: Binge eaters suffer from high standards and expectations, especially an acute sensitivity to the diflicuR (perceived) demands of others. When they fall short of these standards, they develop an aversive pattern of high self-awareness, characterized by unflattering views of self and concern over how they are perceived by others. These aversive self-perceptions are accompanied by emotional dis-tress, which often includes anxiety and depression. To escape from this unpleasant state, binge eaters attempt the cognitive response of narrowing attention to the immediate stimulus environ- ment and avoiding broadly meaningful thought. This narrowing of attention disengages normal inhibitions against eating and fosters an uncritical acceptance of irrational beliefs and thoughts. The escape model is capable of integrating much of the available evidence about binge eating. Source: Binge Eating as Escape from Self Awareness, Psychological Bulletin The paper can be read in full by following the Source link. It's a bit old (1990 is the publication date) but nothing about it feels dated at all. If nothing else, it really speaks to a tendency to use food to quell an overactive brain which looks different in a lot of people but can involve just being over analytical, adding more meaning to something than is really there at all or just an excessive self involvement. The antidote to THINKING, thinking, thinking about yourself is BEING, being, being yourself. It's a kind of disengagement and letting go of deconstructions, worries, or planning. I think that's the difference between certain kinds of people. Some may spend a little time in the morning focused on their day and then just go LIVE IT. Others, like the writer (MOI!) get caught in thinking about themselves and their life ALL DAY. It's like, I'll get to that task, I'll get to you, I'll get to paying a bill, I'll get to figuring out dinner AFTER I'm done thinking about how to fix something in my life I've construed as broken or that is, in actuality, in need of a fixin' (just not the kind that will happen at 3pm on a work day). I see clearly that it's not really about taking the next trip, discovering more amazing music, finding the next way to escape the mundane or picking up a new creative gig (not that I'm lacking in this department either with a short film I'm shooting in less than a month), though all of those things would be gratifying and good for my soul. It's really more about disarmament. Disarmament (did I spell that right?) of my over-active, break it down brain, which I love and won't judge today but that gives me a bit of a headache and makes me want to eat something sweet to silence its chatter. My dreams instead of ice cream, that's all I'm saying. Off to meet with my now trainer before work! Have a beautiful day. Best, L

SXSW interviews for BBC America and a nod from the Huffington Post

The SXSW interviews I did for BBC America are now online, organized here for your viewing pleasure (see below). Also, the new Madonna album is out and despite being a huge, worship-at-the-altar of most things Madge FAN, I don't really care for it. I expressed my feelings (or lack thereof) by way of Twitter and the Huffington Post picked it up. :)

Now back to those fun and talented Brits I chatted with at SX for BBC America's Brit List:

BEN HOWARD
http://www.bbcamerica.com/anglophenia/2012/03/the-brit-list-interview-with-singer-songwriter-ben-howard-at-sxsw/
THE STAVES
http://www.bbcamerica.com/anglophenia/2012/03/watch-the-staves-perform-winter-trees-at-sxsw-chat-with-brit-list/
MINNIE DRIVER
http://www.bbcamerica.com/anglophenia/2012/03/the-brit-list-minnie-driver-a-bad-accent-in-a-film-makes-me-enraged/

More to come in the next few days!

All best,
Lindsay

50/5 -- One Small Change Leads to Another

About 6 weeks ago, I had the idea to start a little Facebook group called "50/5" for people interested in doing 50 sit-ups and 5 push ups a day. Through intenSati and coaching, I've learned a lot about the value of accountability and through team sports, I've learned about the tremendous value of support from players with the same goal. 50 sit-ups and 5 push ups felt like a sizable challenge for me and one that could definitely be done by someone first looking to get in shape, particularly if you do crunches instead of full sit-ups for the first month or so while building strength.

I found myself encouraging others and explaining the challenge by focusing on the value of small, incremental changes. I used to try and make sweeping changes that took my habits and flipped them on their head but the reality is, nothing really stuck. What did stick, for me, were minor adjustments. Tweaks.

I've been living in a new apartment since September and until Friday night had my bed in what could be considered an alcove area of the studio. I preferred to call it "the nook" and when I was feeling creative, "the spirit womb." My brother called it "the bomb shelter" and in a dream it was referred to as a closet. It's about the width and length (plus 2 feet) of a full sized bed with an opening about 3 feet wide. Cozy some days, claustrophobic on other days, my feelings about this resting place seemed to change entirely based on my mood.

For the last 3 months or so, it's been feeling claustrophobic almost every day and to add insult to injury, I have loud neighbors. The walls are thin so I could hear everything and needed to leave a note. Hi, please be mindful because I can hear all your bizzzz. I was a little more formal and wrote about 7 drafts but that was the gist. Even with my amazing noise canceling headphones (Groupon) I could not get comfortable.

On Friday night, my parents and uncle came over to watch my SXSW interviews which were airing on BBCA. Very sweet to have them in full support of this new direction in my career -- they are amazing. My uncle also happens to be an incredible interior designer and helped me get the place together. When I told him that I was really having a hard time with the bed in the nook, he said, That's it! We're taking it out! We'll get it in the main area. It will look fine. Don't worry.

1 hour later, the bed was moved out, the couch slid over and holiest of holy, the nook/womb/closet/bomb shelter area became MY OFFICE. In went the desk, my chair, my book shelves, and my files. Down went a rug we've had for me for 2 months. Up went post-its with affirmations on the wall. Spread your wings and fly.

I was absolutely delighted and for the last 3 nights slept better than I have since moving in -- and all it took was ONE small change.

I don't know why I didn't do it sooner. I couldn't breathe easily for months but thought it was "me" and I just had to figure out how to adjust. Even though the person before me had her bed in the alcove, it didn't mean I had to as well. Such a metaphor for what works for someone else doesn't necessarily work for you! Also a lesson in something being very solvable but my not choosing to see that for whatever reason.

The ripple effect started Friday night and I actually delighted in doing my bills this weekend, in cleaning out and reorganizing my files, arranging my books and figuring out how I'm going to hang pictures. In MY office. Sleeping with the bed out in the main area of the studio felt like I'd moved into a grand, master bedroom of a real home. As I open the blinds of my window facing 7th Avenue, my first image is a tree with springtime flowers in bloom. Then I look down and see the trucks. Not exactly idyllic but for now, it works.

So, whether it's a fitness change, an adjustment to your living space, or something new in the dietary arena, try making an adjustment and see how the power of one small change works in your life.

I'm still doing 50/5 and so is my little FB group of small changers. Perhaps they're finding a similar, positive domino effect and how one thing truly does lead to another......



Have a great day,
Lindsay

My SXSW Music interviews on BBC America tonight!

Good morning!

Watch or DVR the movie ENTRAPMENT on BBC AMERICA tonight (3/23) at 9PM ET to see my interviews with the brilliant British bands I interviewed at the SXSW music festival. That's 9PM ET on BBC America TONIGHT shown throughout breaks in the movie.

You will see exclusive interviews with these ROCKIN artists from the UK!

THE STAVES


BEN HOWARD


CLOCK OPERA


HOLLIE COOK


Plus a few surprises!

ENJOY and THANKS FOR TUNING IN!

Best,
Lindsay

SXSW postscript 1

Good afternoon and thanks for stopping by for a read! Note: This is a personal growth post. For the music recs, scroll down about 2/3. :)

I got in late last night from Austin, TX, where I was attending the music festival South By Southwest (aka SXSW, aka SX or "South By"). I was there on work, my job being to interview bands and solo acts from the UK on camera for the cable net BBC AMERICA.

It was only when a friend told me today that she's in a play at Shetler 54 theater that I remembered I was just in a play (The Winter Comedy Fest') at the same theater for 5 nights until the day before I flew out to SX. Normally I go through a down period after I complete a play but in this case, I didn't even process it. I'm going to do that now --

It was fun. I grew. I hope people liked it.

SXSW, for me, was absolutely unlike anything I'd ever experienced in my life. It was amaaaaaaaaaazingness couched inside one of my worst nightmares, which is: crowds of rowdy drunks traversing narrow streets with blaring loud music in the background, so untethered and high they could probably click their heels together and think "there's no place like (fill in the blank bar)" and end up there in 5 minutes. Cigarette smoke wafted through the thick Texas air like pick up truck exhaust.

No judgments, it's just not how I roll and was overwhelming to say the least. But, with my muscles (pronounced mus-kulls) and sobriety (I rarely drink and don't do drugs) I hiked through the crowded Austin streets to get to each destination, whether it was The British Music Embassy at Latitude 30, the Austin Convention Center on Cesar Chavez St or Fader Fort east of 35, yikes. Had mission, did travel.

Once I got into my desired destination (note: they were easier to get to before 4PM when the debauchery would begin) I was in HEAVEN. The music was amazing, the panel talks were inspiring, the press lounge (fit with coffee, water, seltzer and a chair masseuse!) gave me goose pimples because it was my first and the people I met here, there and everywhere kept me surprised and engaged. The on camera work and interviewing I did was at varying times throughout the week (some early, some well into the night) and I was constantly on my toes between changing locations, times and getting a sense of what would be the best questions to ask the artists who I felt honored to meet. All in all, and despite some nerves, it was love. I was IN LOVE.

I felt incredibly, incredibly free even as I also felt anxious at times. I used to joke with some friends that I'm an anarchist trapped in a people pleaser's body. I grew up with strict parents and did a lot to seek approval. Breaking rules of any fashion scared me -- I was a goody goody! I was Prom Queen as voted on by the teachers, ok? Enough said. It wasn't until I reached about 30 that I started to really unpack and release those patters in a healthy way, as opposed to in some of the previous attempts at acting out which may have helped dissolve some of the "good girl" stuff but also reaped negative consequences. NOW, or, more accurately, in the last 4 or so years, I've been discovering more and more and MORE ways to be free, to be myself, to have so much fun, to do work that doesn't feel like work, and to be the little rocker rebel I always had in me but was too afraid to let out. All this without too many negative consequences but I'm still a work in progress, so you do the math.

So, why the anxiety? Getting myself camera ready in the humid Texas air? My hair, the frizz, omg! Just kidding. I handled the poof with ease by scheduling a few blowouts at BLAST BLOWDRY for only $30. Seriously good place.). NO, the real reason for the anxiety, I think, was summed up in one of my daily meditation books on March 17th, last Saturday:

Feelings of happiness were always linked with another emotion: fear. I feared that my happiness would be quickly taken from me, or that something disastrous would occur to counteract. In other words, happiness caused me anxiety. That's why I often unwittingly sabotaged it...it is still necessary for me to periodically reaffirm that I am deserving of happiness, and that I still have the power of choice -- to accept it or send it away. (From A TIME TO BE FREE, Bantam 1991)

My anxiety could actually be a sign I was doing something right. A lot of things, actually. Well that's a relief!!

It wasn't easy because of the long days/nights but I did exercise almost daily and found ways to eat healthy (I suggest Daily Juice for smoothies/fresh juices, Piranha for reasonably priced sushi, and The Backspace for roasted Brussels sprouts with pecorino and pancetta)
since I just wasn't up for indulging in truck fare this time around. Maybe next time. #SXSW2013 #Leggomytaco

I saw a lot of shows and below is a list of the acts which really stood out and rocked my world in one way or another! The ones with an * are artists I had the incredible pleasure of interviewing for BBC America.

Ray Benson with Kat Edmonson at his restaurant The Rattle Inn. It was Ray's Birthday bash!

Graham Wilkinson performing with Kimya Dawson (not to be confused with Kimbra who I tried to see at La Zona Rosa but the line was too long, even for press)

Michael Kiwanuka

Frank Turner *

The Staves *

Ben Howard (his live performance at the St. David's Episcopal Church sanctuary was my favorite of the entire festival) *

Marcus Foster

Waterloo Records party with a few acts whose name I can't recall. Jimmy Cliff was on the way but I had to leave.

Blood Orange *

You Can Be A Wesley

The Lighthouse and the Whaler

The Big Pink *

Clock Opera *

Skinny Lister

Dutch Uncles

This doesn't include the random musicians playing in the streets, the ukulele player from the Therapy Sisters I gave a lift, my friend Sara Wise from Ash Gray and the Girls who I've yet to hear live but will soon in NY, or Hollie Cook, a solo artist I spoke to for BBCA who is the daughter of Sex Pistols drummer Paul Cook and so delightful and effortlessly cool you relax just standing in her presence.

It doesn't include any mainstream acts either, like Bruce Springstein who performed and gave this incredible keynote speech, Jay Z, Nas, Nora Jones, Eminem or Fiona Apple, stars who made the journey to Austin this year for a night or two. And here's a great list by Andy Langer at Esquire of his Top 30 picks.

As I take this day to recover (I'm still seeing pedicabs and feel like my well lit apartment should be DARKER) my next right action could be a rockin' short nap. I'll doze off to one of my favorite songs from Ben Howard called Old Pine:



Then wake up ltr to another new SX fave by The Big Pink called Stay Gold!



Peace and bloody good rock-and-roll,
Lindsay

2 shows down and 3 to go. The Winter Comedy Fest' is alive and kicking.

Last night, I went to dinner after the show with some friends, two of whom I know from the same acting class. We talked about the lessons we learned -- that when we act and go to the theater we look for truth on stage. It may be subtle or obvious, something you observe consciously or feel in your gut. If it's not truthful, you'll know. You'll probably want to get up out of your seat and leave. Or, go to the bathroom. Even when a piece is heightened, over the top, silly, or completely exaggerated, when it comes from truth, it still works.

The freedom most of us felt at one point or another as a child can get lost into adulthood. Many of us who are seekers are looking for it again and again. Sometimes in the wrong places, of course. It's the freedom of feeling your rightness in the world exactly as you are, which usually allows speaking, doing and feeling in any way, without fear of punishment, judgment or the rejection of love.

Love pulled out from a child is like a tablecloth being yanked from a beautifully set table by an amateur magician. The effect is disastrous. When love is pulled away there is always a change. Where'd my love go? I need that love right now. What do I have to do, who do I have to become, how do I have to monitor myself, how should I be pleasing, what has to changed for the love to come back? The child moves, instinctively, to solve that mystery. Often into adulthood.

This process of trying to figure out who we have to be to find love often gets mixed up with the quest of self discovery. We think there's more to learn but what if that's just being confused with a simple knowing that you can just be yourself and loved deeply, unconditionally and wholeheartedly. Enough is enough.

I am obsessed with this song by Gotye (feat. Kimbra) called SOMEBODY THAT YOU USED TO KNOW. If you've never heard it or seen the video, ENJOY! I want to choreograph a dance and perform it with friends.



L

Details for Winter Comedy Festival

Good morning!

I've been in rehearsals for a short play called "A Eulogy for Leroy" by Jason Green, which is part of JK Productions' Winter Comedy Festival. We open this Wednesday night! Hope you'll come check us out. Details:

JK Productions
Presents

The First Annual
Winter Comedy Fest

Directed by
Katie McHugh

Written by
Jason Parker Green ~ Maximilian Avery Clark
Katherine O’Brien ~ Ryan Hunter ~ Kendall Rileigh

Featuring
Lindsay B. Davis ~ Vance Julian Barber ~ Lindsey Carter ~ Chloe Lewis
~ Maximilian Clark ~ Michela Imbesi ~ Kelly Sharp ~ Sarah Dunivant
~ Jen Browne ~ Emily Shaffer ~ Jessica Knutson ~ Sarah Summerwell
~ Brendan Sokler ~Kirsten Benjamin ~ Carley Colbert ~ Andy Lyons ~ Brennan Lowery

The Winter Comedy Fest is a series of dark, hilarious, and clever short plays and sketches written, directed and performed by a group of talented New York artists seeking to lighten the city’s frigid months with a burst of winter wit.

Performance dates:
March 7, 8, 9 and 10 at 7:30pm
and March 11 at 3pm

Ticket Price $18
Purchase tickets using below link, or at the door.
http://www.smarttix.com/Show.aspx?ShowCode=WIN22
General Admission Seating

At THEATRE 54
244 West 54th Street, 12th floor.
Between 8th Ave and Broadway.

Speaking of comedy, my very funny and talented friends are keeping busy. Enjoy :)

SH*T REAL NEW YORKERS SAY by Jewel Elizabeth and GROUP The Web Series by Amy Witting:

Sh*T Real New Yorkers Say


Group The Web Series

Group The Webseries - Episode 1 "I Am a Source of Healing" from SeaDog Productions on Vimeo.

March intenSati Series Affirmations

Good afternoon! I'm still feeling the excitement from this morning's intenSati class which I taught to a full room at Equinox (Columbus Circle)! It was the first day of a new, very challenging series -- a little out of the box but very much in line with where I'm at these days! Here are the affirmations plus a few notes about what inspired them:

THANK YOU UNIVERSE!
THERE'S BEEN A SHIFT!
I AM LIVING MY DREAMS!
I AM ENJOYING MY GIFTS!
So, the intention here is to really, deeply appreciate all the aspects of the Universe which are conducive to manifesting a shift, whether it's internal or external. Sometimes things just move, morph, transform. Are you aware when these changes take place? I'm amazed at how I can be obsessing about something (from the trivial to the very important) and then it just lifts. Or, I can be trying to get an insight or creative idea and it just comes out of the ether (and usually in the shower). Holy shift! It's so awesome to be able to appreciate the ways you ARE living your deepest dreams and using your gifts. You're also intending more of the same by affirming it in the present here and now.
I AM STRONG AND IN CONTROL
STEADY AS I GO
I'M HOT AND ON A ROLL
OM JAI HO
Ok, so I hesitated to say I am strong and in control. Well, not the strong part but the "in control" part. This, because there are so many things which we don't have control over. Really, we are so powerless over events, people, etc., going on around us and it's the challenge to learn to accept these things. But, when I step back and realize what I DO have control over -- my behaviors, my reactions, my intentions -- that's exciting. You can't "control" your thoughts and you can't "control" feelings, exactly, but what you can control is the approach you use to deal with thoughts and feelings. I love affirming being steady and grounded. Hot and on a roll, despite triggering a food thought for me (hot veggie burger on a sprouted grain Ezekial bun, yum yum, ha ha) is inspired by the feeling which comes with being on fire like a basketball player sinking baskets one after the next (Lin, Novak, GO KNICKS) or just booking one acting gig or writing job after another. Love that feeling of a hot hand and being on a roll! OM is the sound of creation and JAI HO is a Hindi mantra something Patricia introduced into intenSati when the movie Slumdog Millionaire and song Jai Ho was popular. It means May Victory Be Yours. I chant it daily. Om jai ho.
MY WORK PAYS OFF
INSPIRATION TRUMPS FEAR
I AM UNLIMITED
WHAT I DESIRE IS HERE
I am not trying to be a martyr but, honestly, this week was so challenging that it lead me to write this affirmation as a bit of a leap of faith. I HAVE to believe my hard work is paying off and will pay off even more (not just from a fulfillment, creative, purpose standpoint but literally PAY, like, ch-ching) if I remain committed and focused. I work 45 or so hours a week (plus off hours Blackberry attention) as an exec assistant, write freelance, teach fitness, am currently in a one act play that opens next week and I am getting ready to do on camera reporting for BBC America at South By Southwest. I live by myself and take care of all my biz. I thought I was going to pass out this week between the early workouts, full work days and late rehearsals BUT I started saying that my work pays off. I started telling myself that my inspiration to pursue what I love will TRUMP whatever fears I'm having that I don't have the energy for it all or that I am not good enough. I brought in "I'm unlimited" because there is the spark of SOURCE energy inside all of us which is UNLIMITED and that's what I'm talking about. It's about breaking out of limited thinking or restrictions. As for DESIRE, I see in my life that what I desire is here now but there is so much more I desire that isn't (and some things I DON'T desire which are here), so for those things which aren't here yet or things I am ready to release, I choose to cultivate the feeling and imagine what I DO DESIRE IS here now (which seems to be a big theme in this series).
OH, I AM DETERMINED
I AM NEVER ALONE
TOGETHER WE THRIVE
I AM IN THE ZONE
Continuing to stay determined that I will find greater and deeper happiness, love, and success. Allowing dreams to come true is a day by day proposition. Affirming that I am never alone helps a lot. Life is just not and never will be a solo project. Nothing I do is without support and there is a tremendous community of people I'm a part of which thrives TOGETHER. As for ending in the zone, well, that's just the place of flow and focus, where you're just ON IT and you feel yourself moving with power, energy and grace. Time passes and you're blissed out or at the very least, content. :)

Forgive the 5 or 6 tense changes in this piece. I'll edit at a later date!

Hope to see you in intenSati class this month! I teach Saturdays at 8:30AM at Columbus Circle and will start covering Natalia's 6:30AM class at 17th St Equinox while she's on maternity leave. I will be traveling on 3/13-18 but the subs are Patricia Moreno at 17th St and Jolynn Baca at Columbus Circle. It's going to be a very powerful month!!!!

Much love and support for you on your way,
Lindsay

Calling All Risk Takers!

Hi, I am calling all risk takers!! This Lindspiration is for anybody who has ever taken a risk that greatly altered the course of your existence. This could be in the career realm, relationship realm or anything really. I don't care. I mean, I do care. I care A LOT. I find risk takers incredibly INSPIRING. So, if you took a risk and you're willing to share your experience, would you please leave a comment or respond to my FB post?

Did you:

1. Leave the comfort and security of a day job with minimal savings to pursue your passions full time?

2. Tell someone you have a little crush on them and it ended up sparking something serious?

3. Go bungee jumping?

4. Put $2,000 of your hard earned money to finance a passion project?

5. Share your own experience on someone else's blog

6. Move to a brand new city based on an intuitive flash or knowing you'd somehow be happier with the change.

7. YOUR RISK HERE

You get the drift.

Email me your full story at Lindspiration@gmail.com, if you dare.

Thanks,
Lindsay

Competing Against Ms. Resistance

Morning. I had a very significant 15 or so hours, starting last night with another RIVETING Knicks game in which the Knicks came from behind to beat the Cavaliers. Lin played really well but the real story was the depth of the NY bench led by Novak. His string of 4th quarter 3 pointers was the turning point the Knicks needed to grab another victory.

I was so engaged and texted with my brother the entire time, starting early in the game when I suggested the coach clear the entire floor of the starters and bench them all until they are ready to play defense and start hustling and finishing with hoots, hollas and text "woo hoos".

After I went to bed and woke up this morning to get ready for my personal trainer, I had all these emotions. I USED to play a lot of basketball. I USED to play a lot of soccer. I USED to play team sports all the time and I MISS these things so much. I felt a new absence and the old absence of these and can honestly say that the training and workouts I do now are just not filling this void. In fact, one of the things I loved about team sports is the competition element. There was another team against which to compete. I loved the the camaraderie on my own team. I loved that there were no mirrors. I love that it was about the SPORT and about playing, that looks never factored into the equation, that I never thought about belly fat when I was sprinting down the court or field. I loved how you could make mistakes and then recover so fast people didn't even remember you fell down. I loved getting up from a slide tackle with mud streaks on my shorts. :) I just loved playing.

3 ankle surgeries later and I don't have this in my life today. I had a talk with my personal trainer about goals and what I REALLY WANT, what motivates me and what gets me out of bed. Lets just say there are going to be some basketballs and soccer balls in my very near future. I'm a little nervous but I'm excited.

The other epiphany, if we want to call it that, concerns where to channel some of my competitive spirit. I do have an opposition voice that lives inside me and brings me down. It's the negative thinker that moves me into self defeat, overeating, stress/anxiety and defeat. It is louder than what I grew up with as a child but softer than what I struggled with in my 20s. What I am doing now is approaching that voice -- Ms. Resistance (read The War of Art) -- as a competitive element in me. And my objective is victory.

I keep score and this has nothing to do with anybody else. Maybe the gift of stopping team sports for as long as I did, one of the gifts anyway, is to recognize how I can compete with my own self sabotaging voice with the same spirit I used to compete against other players on the pitch. Maybe one of the reasons why I have not felt comfortable is because that wonderful competitive spirit which I could be embracing is one I've tried to stifled or worse, one that I've used to COMPARE myself to other people doing similar things to me.

That kind of competition is futile.

Jeremy Lin used to play a game against a ghost. Well, not exactly, but here's how the New York Times put it in an article, Jeremy Lin's Evolution:

Lin’s perfectionist tendencies came out in a 3-point-shooting drill called “beat the ghost,” in which Lin earned 1 point for every shot he made at the arc and the “ghost” earned 3 points for every shot Lin missed.

If I play a game against Ms. Resistance each day, it would probably be about which good habits I keep and which ones I break. It would look like which thoughts I choose to practice -- yes, thinking is a practice -- and which ones I choose to let go of because they're not serving me. I can tell by how I feel and what I do if Ms. Resistance is scoring points against me...or, vice versa.

I expect very big changes are on the way. I know they are and that's because I embracing all of me and using every part of my being to find success and empowerment. It's all a day at a time.